My Kids are Stuck to their Screens — Help!

Dads’ Survival Guide: parenting

My kids are caught in some meta-physical tractor beam. Literally.

Attaching them to their phones. iPads. Monitors. Gaming online with friends. Watching inane videos. YouTube. TikTok. And channels I’ve never heard of.

And they do everything one-handed. Holding their phone while cutting an apple. Or emptying the trash. Never once looking up from the screen. Left unchecked, they’d remain entranced all night. And day. Day after day. The kids are relentless. Every free nanosecond. On their screens. Non-stop. Endlessly.

As a Dad, I’m supposed to be in command. Total control. Yet, when it comes to screen time, I feel totally out of control. Unprepared. And woefully incapable.

Policing them is such a bear. How many thousands of times can one say, “Turn off the screens!” Again and again. Trying to get them to comply. It’s exhausting.

I need a break. Some relief. A chance to relax. And get back to my screen.

Oh.

Monitoring

Managing screen time is important. For kids’ health and well-being. As Dads, we have to establish boundaries. It’s common sense. With scientific evidence in support.

Problem is, monitoring their activity is a full-time job. Are Dads on top of it? Sure. We’re trying. Do we have proper protections in place? We think so. Then again, we won’t know till proven we don’t know.

Seems mostly harmless. Best I can tell. Madden. 2K. The Show. Minecraft. Trick shots videos. Dance routines. Or watching others play video games. Which I hate. But permit anyway.

My biggest fear is the kids are moving way faster than me. And their friends are light years ahead. I’m the old geezer when it comes to all these media options. Popping up daily. From every different direction.

Phones are a major distraction. While concentrating on schoolwork. Or getting to sleep. Nothing good happens after 10 pm. Or 8 pm for that matter.

We have household rules. And screens are confiscated for rules violations. Which is a very effective deterrent. For all punishable matters. Too good a deterrent. Which also makes me nervous.

Entertainment

What’s the attraction? Why are kids so drawn to their screens? Is it the evolution of children’s brains? The inevitability of the Digital Generation? (Or Screen Generation).

Truthfully, we were no different.

My parents were every bit as frustrated. With our ’70s screen habits. Mom called TVs the ‘Boob Tube’. Turning our heads to mush. Watching mindless Prime-Time shows. Saturday morning cartoons. And the hated after-school reruns. “Stop with the Boob Tube and go play outside.”

My Dad was so peeved, he rigged a special setup. Enabling him to take the TV cord in his briefcase. As a preventative measure. Seriously. (I created my rig. We watched for weeks till my sisters blew our cover).

Entertainment. Relaxation. Boredom. Filling any void of time. Or free nanosecond. With something to occupy our minds. Was as true then as it is today. For us Dads, as well. Just have a look-see at our screen time logs.

When we were young, there were built-in limits. Only so many TV channels. Nowadays, exploration is another incentive. Millions of media sources to discover. From all around the globe. Available to any of our kids. At any time.

Which is scary for parents. Dangerous for youngsters. Yet, sooo enticing for them.

Structure

Left to their own devices, our kids will not choose well. That much we know.

Fortunately, there’s plenty of advice on managing screen time. From experts. Well-meaning family members. Friends. Everyone has a point of view. Giving Dads (and Mom) plenty of choices.

And choose, we must. But, how?

A first step is to recognize that Dad sets the tone. We’re the example. Sure, Dads have viable reasons to catch up. Inboxes to check. The markets. LinkedIn feeds. Or the Giants’ draft choices. But if the kids see us lost in our phones, they will be too.

Beyond our own activity, there are screen time basics. Steps of which all Dads are familiar. Parental controls. App and social media restrictions. Age-appropriate rules. Screen time limits. Device-free zones. Knowing passwords. And checking text streams. Interactions with friends. Or others. Searching YouTube history. And other feeds.

There’s no right answer. Or proper age parameters. Only what aligns best with each family’s values. And works in the household. One set of guidelines is no better than another. Just as long as Dads are explicit. Clear. And willing to enforce. For all kids equally.

We’ve instituted Smith family rules. Strict? Yes. Onerous? Maybe. Are they right? Who knows? We only know what’s right for us.

We’ve chosen not to allow screens in bedrooms at night. No gaming during the week. Or videos while studying. Bloody war games are off limits. Mature audiences stuff prohibited. Any purchases require our approval. And no real money spending within the games. In our household, the kids don’t participate in social media.

Am I spot-checking as much as I should? Probably not. Looking over their shoulder? Not enough. Overly trusting? Assuming they’re doing the right thing? You bet.

Dads can’t be slackers when it comes to compliance. It’s on us. We have to remain diligent. Attentive. Forceful. For our kids’ welfare. No different than other bad habits. Or potentially addictive behaviors. Like drinking. Drugs. Gambling. Sex. Don’t want our kids to wander into bad situations that they can’t unwind.

Managing screen-time is nettlesome. With lots of potholes to navigate. Especially, if we try doing so on our own. So, check in with other Dads. See what’s working for them. Discuss alternatives. We’ll all be better when we help one another.

Go, Dads. Go.