My Joyful Preparation: The Restoring And Endless Pleasure Of Waiting

Before it all happens

The idea of waiting for something makes it more exciting.- Andy Warhol

For a dreamer like me, waiting for something to happen is the best part of the enjoyment. Once I have all information about the event, I imagine the place, the people, and the food. I think about the conversation, the questions I will ask, the feelings I might experience. I imagine the faces of the other guests involved.

Then I open my wardrobe and find out I don’t have a suitable dress! I consider the idea of buying something new, but no, I always end up wearing something old. I write a plan in my diary: when I should start cleaning the house; when I should prepare the table cloth and if I need to iron it, what should I buy or cook.

The list becomes another never-ending story, it has its own life. It grows, and the more I think of what to do, the more options I find.

I nourish my soul while waiting. I also nourish my stress because organizing and preparing even a small family lunch reveals all my self-doubt. Am I good enough? Am I a good cook, is my house nice and clean enough? Do I look older? Insecurities triumph.

But, like a soldier, I have to go on. I don’t organize little events very often, I am too busy or sometimes lazy, so I need to continue even after I get angry with myself for that crazy idea of inviting people to my place. Why didn't I suggest a restaurant or a bar? I ask myself.

This intense activity takes place in my mind for at least a month before the event. I wouldn’t call it a joyful preparation, but in reality, it is. It allows me to get in contact with my feelings about myself and the people I love.

It’s a joyful journey in dreams, my imagination is a life source, and then I turn to practical thinking. Why shouldn’t I enjoy it? There’s a world in me!

Then the day of the event comes, and nothing is like I expected, sometimes it is even better, even if it is real. But I enjoy it because it’s just the final part of an entire process, and after it finishes I am ready for a new dream!

A single dream is more powerful than a thousand realities. -J.R.R.Tolkien