Summary

Barbara Radisavljevic recounts her personal spiritual journey from childhood to adulthood, marked by familial prayers, church involvement, periods of doubt, and a renewed faith in Christ.

Abstract

Barbara Radisavljevic's path to Christian faith began with her grandmother's prayers and continued through her upbringing in a Presbyterian church, where she was an active member of the youth group. Despite facing doubts about trinitarian doctrine, she remained committed to her faith, eventually finding clarity at a Christian Reformed Church during her time at UCLA. Her faith was further nurtured through campus Christian groups, reading works by influential Christian authors, and the support of her husband. Radisavljevic reflects on the challenges of marriage, the grief of losing loved ones, and the anticipation of future trials, all while maintaining her trust in God's provision and presence.

Opinions

The author believes in the power of prayer, particularly the impact of her grandmother's and aunt's prayers on her spiritual journey.
She values authenticity in faith, choosing not to pretend beliefs she did not hold, even when serving as youth group president.
The author appreciates the role of Christian education and literature in strengthening her faith, citing influential authors like John Stott and A.W. Tozer.
She acknowledges the importance of a supportive Christian community, including campus groups and her husband, in her spiritual growth.
Radisavljevic holds a strong conviction that God provides grace and comfort during times of grief and trial, looking to the future with trust in Jesus' constant companionship.

My Journey to Christian Faith and My Continuing Walk with Christ

Every Christian’s path to faith is different. Here’s mine

My grandmother prayed for me

I believe my spiritual journey began before I was born. Scripture says God knew me in the womb. I also had a godly grandmother on my dad’s side who probably started praying for me as soon as she got the news. I know she prayed for me as long as we both were alive. My dad’s sister, Aunt Jane, told me so, and she herself kept praying for me as long as she was alive.

Raised in a church

My parents attended what was then the Community Presbyterian Church in Bellflower, where I was baptized at the age of three. I attended Sunday School and church regularly when old enough, and joined the church when I was twelve. As a teen, I was very active in the church youth group and became president when I was a senior. I regularly attended our independent campus Christian club in the high school gym every Tuesday and Thursday at lunch. I was totally committed — until I started to doubt some of the Christian doctrines I had believed. I never doubted there was a God.

When I no longer wholeheartedly believed the trinitarian concept of God, I tried to resign as youth group president, but the advisor said I should stay, doubts and all. She said I would not have to pretend anything, but she wanted me to continue in office. Hypocrisy was against my principles, so I did not claim to believe anything I didn’t. While I remained president, we studied other religions. I will probably talk more about this doubting period in other posts to come.

Doubt resolved, faith renewed

The doubts ended during my first semester at UCLA. I started going home more on weekends and I changed churches. The Presbyterian church I grew up in had become very liberal. The youth director who had guided our church’s Christian education program as I was growing up left to go to seminary about the time I graduated from high school. The new youth director seemed more determined to cause us to question the Bible than give us reasons to believe it.

I always walked to church, so I decided to walk six blocks in the opposite direction to First Christian Reformed Church in Bellflower. God spoke to my spirit and resolved my doubts on my first visit. I asked God to help me see the truth. He used the words of James 1 to help me get through my doubts. I decided to live as though what the Bible taught was true and let God convince me as I did. He did convince me.

The next year in a new dorm I became involved first with Campus Crusade for Christ and then Bruin Christian Fellowship and a dorm Bible study. These groups helped me find Christian friends to encourage me on my spiritual journey.

Soon after that, I discovered InterVarsity Press, Revell, Christian Publications, and other Christian publishers. I began to read John Stott, A.W. Tozer, Paul Little, Elisabeth, and Jim Elliot, Edith Schaeffer, and other reliable Christian teachers. I met my now-husband who was very active in leading Bible studies at UCLA.

In my last year at UCLA I ran into my college youth director at my old church again on campus. He had left his position and told me he’d become an existentialist. He was still trying to figure out what he believed.

Through many trials

God has given me a great life. My parents loved each other and loved and supported me. Dad had a strong faith and we could always depend on him to guide us. Mom’s spiritual journey did not lead her to make a commitment to Christ until after I was married. That was part of what led to my own doubts.

From family photo collection, taken by a wedding guest

We married when I was 21, and then I learned how much growing up we both still had to do. We had to learn how to live together. As all married people know, marriage is not all romance. It takes a lot of adjusting. It requires a lot of I Corinthians 13 love and a lot of grace. There were temptations not resisted, failures, and consequences. But there was also forgiveness and God pulled us through as we repented and returned.

He was there for us in our grief after Jason died. He was there when our parents, a very close friend, and then Sarah died. The hardest bereavement for one of us is still ahead, and we are trusting for grace and comfort then, too, when we can no longer finish our journey together.

The end of my spiritual journey is still ahead

I expect it will be the hardest. Bodies get frailer, pain increases, and memory and physical strength decrease. We will be called on more and more to care physically for each other as we continue to age. There will be more hospital vigils, and finally a mortuary. One of us will be planning a memorial service. And one of us will learn to live without the other. The one constant will be Jesus. He will still be with us, providing grace, strength, wisdom, and love. He will never leave or forsake us.

Now also when I am old and greyheaded, O God, forsake me not; until I have shewed thy strength unto this generation, and thy power to every one that is to come. (Psalm 71:18 KJV)

Part of this article was previously published on my blog at One Christian Life

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