Small Changes Lead to Big Results
My Journey from Under the Weight
Exhuming the Woman Beneath Week One
By Audra J Pitts
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December 18, 2023 — Most people wait for the first of a new year before setting a New Year’s resolution, and for me, it wasn’t any different, but I never stuck to it. I rarely make it past the afternoon of the first day. I lose faith in myself and feel that it’s hopeless so why bother? I soon fell into a deep depression and felt ugly and disgusting. I have spent all my life, as a “skinny girl” who was trapped in a huge body. In recent years, I have had a stroke, my blood pressure is high, and I can’t afford my medications if I wish to keep a roof over my children’s heads and food in their bellies.
I did have weight loss surgery back in 2003 when I was 550lbs, and I was lucky to have gotten down to 280lbs with the rest I was guessing was the excessive amounts of grotesque skin and flab. In June of 2020, I started to have difficulty breathing, and having been a Registered nurse for 18 years, I noticed that I was beginning to get edema in my legs, as well as in the sagging flab of my stomach. I called my doctor, and he refused to give me the medication that would pull the fluid from my body and only said that he would see me at my appointment in two weeks.
The very next day, I was at work and experienced a stroke, and since then, I have been battling with this fluid, and gained weight again, topping the scale today at 317lbs. I’m so uncomfortable and depressed, and alone, that I will try anything to drop the weight.
I have been seen by many specialists for my heart, the pain in my knees, and just my new regular doctor since Dr. Malik made a rapid job change to open his private practice that somehow doesn’t take insurance, just days after I complained that he caused my stroke by neglecting my requests for help, and his odd call two days after the stroke telling me I didn’t have a stroke when a neurologist told me I had.
Now of course, since it has been over eighteen years since my weight loss surgery and my maximum weight of 550lbs, no professional reads that far back in my chart, and tells me that my health will get better if I just lose weight. I just want to scream at them and say “I HAVE!!”, and then go home to eat an entire cake. The doctors don’t realize that they are making me more depressed every time.
Well, I’m just going to forget the fad diets, ignore the doctor’s indirect insults, and spend my time with two simple things. 6 cups of Loophole coffee (recipe to follow) and 64 ounces of lemon water, each day. Now loophole coffee is 2 cups of strong black coffee, a quarter teaspoon of cinnamon, and the juice of half of a lemon. Some people add a teaspoon of honey to reduce the bitterness, but it also adds calories, which is counterproductive.
The rest of the day I didn’t change much, but my focus was on changing just one or two small things and making them a habit before moving on to change another thing. Then I realized it takes twenty-one days to form a new habit. UGH! Now I am thinking way far ahead and getting to the point of being overwhelmed.
Some people swear by Lemon water or apple cider vinegar. I don’t have the big labs to research, or people to do tests on, so, I am my test subject and changing my habits. Maybe the journaling, the little changes, and daily weigh-ins will do the trick.
December 19, 2023– 316.7 lbs today, it’s not much, but it is something. I just need to keep focused on the two main things I am making my new habits. lemon water and loophole coffee.
December 20, 2023– Today, I was shocked. 312.8lbs and all I have been doing is cutting out the cream and sugar in my coffee, adding cinnamon and lemon juice, and I have struggled with the lemon water but have choked down about 24 ounces. It’s 4.2 lbs. in just 48 hours. I just have to wonder if I have unknowingly cut out other calories that I would have taken in while struggling with the decision to drink my loophole coffee and lemon water. I know that I didn’t meet my personal goal of water intake, but it is more than I usually take in. My new motto is “Small changes lead to big results.”
December 21, 2023– Today it is down more just not as much. 312.4 lbs., but I still say small changes equal big results. It is a busy day with work deadlines, children pickup times, wrapping presents, and making food for the staff party this evening, and then my oldest and his girlfriend are coming over after to open Christmas gifts, and after tomorrow, I will be alone until Christmas afternoon. Maybe I need this time alone, or maybe I will be depressed. I will get through it and remain on my journey to making a habit.
December 22, 2023 — Today I'm down yet again. 312.2 lbs. Even with the staff party food last night, I’m down again. Even though it’s not much, it’s the small changes that lead to big results. I am afraid to set a goal to reach. I am taking things one day at a time. If I can make it through an entire day without “cheating” on my “diet,” I might be more willing. I am thinking of adding some movement to the mix, as I remember the sweating to the oldies videos that my mom used to have me watch. With bittersweet nostalgia, Richard Simmons is on YouTube, and I might just spend the holiday with him while my children are gone.
December 23, 2023 — Well today was depressing, but I won’t let it get me down. 314.0 but I didn’t have my coffee or water. Tomorrow is the end of week one. think positive. small changes make big results.
December 24, 2023 — Today is the end of the first week of the small changes, big results campaign. 311.8 lbs. The total for the first seven days is 5.2 lbs. gone. I need to never welcome it back. In my review of the past week, I see that when I am drinking the loophole coffee and lemon water, however, I haven’t done the lemon water the past two days, just more coffee. I find that I cut out diet soda which contains sodium and is not good for fluid retention. I also realize that I cut out the calories from cream and sugar in my coffee. I will continue to document my weekly endeavors with the small changes, and big results.