Summary

The author's husband has taken up harassing companies as a hobby post-retirement, successfully negotiating discounts, refunds, and even a new appliance through persistence and attention to detail.

Abstract

Since the onset of the pandemic and his subsequent retirement, the author's husband has filled his free time with a unique and surprisingly fruitful pastime: harassing customer service representatives. He has managed to lower their monthly internet bill, reduce insurance premiums, and secure refunds through relentless phone calls. His tenacity also led to the replacement of their broken oven with a brand-new stainless steel model, as per the fine print of their service contract. Additionally, he aided their daughter in obtaining a new washing machine after her old one broke down and the service company initially refused to replace it. His actions have resulted in tangible financial benefits for the family, transforming a potential source of irritation into an enjoyable hobby for both himself and his wife.

Opinions

The author initially had concerns about her husband's retirement activities but now appreciates his new hobby.
She expresses enjoyment at the financial gains from his persistent interactions with service providers.
The author is impressed by her husband's ability to decipher fine print in contracts, which has led to significant rewards.
She is amused and perhaps slightly bewildered by the transformation of her husband into an advocate for consumer rights within their family.
The author seems to admire her husband's newfound role, as evidenced by her delight in the results of his efforts, including a new oven and washing machine for their family.

My Husband’s New Hobby Is Harassing People

And I’m beginning to enjoy it

Coronavirus arrived in February and my husband retired in May. Like the rest of us, he isn’t doing what he planned. Gone are any thoughts of traveling, attending sports events or picking up a job as a substitute teacher.

I worried at first about what he would do when he retired. He doesn’t golf or fish and has never had hobbies.

But I didn’t need to worry. He’s found a new hobby, and it’s consuming hours of his time. He is now harassing people.

The other day he spent an hour on the phone with our internet provider. He found out he could save $20 a month by canceling his current contract and starting out as a new customer. By the end of their conversation, he had lowered our bill by $60.

The day before that, he spent three hours talking to the insurance company. When he got off the phone, he said, “I got our premiums reduced and now there’s no copay.”

Last week, we got a check for $150 in the mail. “What’s this check for?” I asked.

“That’s from the class action suit,” he said.

“Class action suit?”

“Yeah, that’s why I was on the phone so long. I looked through our records and found out we were eligible for some money.”

Today I opened an envelope and a $50 check fluttered out.

“That’s our refund for overpaying our dental bill,” my husband said. “I was on the phone with them for three hours. I had to speak with four different managers before they agreed it was their mistake.”

At first, I was irritated by his endless hours on the phone. But now I’m enjoying his hobby. I like watching checks drift in. But even better than a check is my brand new stainless steel oven.

Yes! You heard me right! I have a brand new stainless steel oven!

Our old oven broke, and we have a yearly service contract for appliance repairs. The service company sent out a repairman, but he needed to order a part. Only the oven was so old, the part no longer existed.

My husband got out the service contract and read all 26 pages, until he got to the fine print. “Do you see this?” He jabbed a finger at a line of print the size of fire ants.

“I can’t see it, even with my glasses on. What’s it say?” I asked.

“It says if they can’t fix our appliance, they have to buy us a new one.”

I didn’t believe, even with his success at acquiring checks, that somebody would give us a free appliance.

I was wrong.

It took him six emails, four phone calls, and some texting back and forth, but we finally got to pick out a gleaming, new stainless steel oven. Several more phone calls, and the service company installed it for free.

“I think you wore them down,” I said.

I thought this was his biggest harassment success story, but there’s more. He talked our daughter into buying a service contract with the same company. But when her washing machine broke, the repairman couldn’t fix it.

After a month of going to the laundromat and washing clothes outside in a plastic kid’s swimming pool, she called.

“Dad! Do you have any suggestions? We’ve been without a washing machine for a month!”

“Did you read the fine print of your contract?” My husband said. “I think you can get a new washing machine. Give them a call.”

She called them, but she was too busy to spend hours on the phone and her husband is more like me. He lacks the tenacity and the stomach for the necessary blitzkrieg of phone calls.

So my husband went to work. Only this time, it looked as if success would elude him.

“They sent another repairman out, but it still doesn’t work right,” our daughter complained. “They said I’m not eligible for a new one.”

My husband escalated the situation. He even stayed on the phone when we were taking our walks. “You go ahead of me,” he said as soon as we headed down the sidewalk. “I’ve got a manager on the line.”

This went on for three days, and then our daughter called with good news. She had a new washing machine!

“I can’t believe it,” she said. “No more washing clothes in the kid’s pool.”

Today my husband is on the phone with the mortgage company. I don’t know what they’re talking about, but it’s a long conversation.