My Husband’s Best and Worst Jokes
My jokes are funnier
My husband dabbled in stand-up comedy years ago. He had some really funny jokes that people have never even thought of. The best and worst ones were about his grandmother. She was heartbroken when she heard these two jokes.
I love jokes, but I tease my husband that my jokes are funnier than his are. I don’t know why, I guess I just find it hilarious, lol.
And finally, I present to you his very best and worst jokes.
Best- “My grandmother has dementia. She has been forgetting all kinds of things lately. I guess one good thing that has come from it is she has quit smoking. It’s just a shame though because I know how she really loved her meth.”
Bhahaha. I love that joke, but you can see why grandma was a little hurt over this one. Don’t worry, this is not the one that completely destroyed grandma.
Worst- “My grandma told me that my daughter was as cute as a button. I don’t know about you, but I’ve never seen a button as cute as a baby. I didn’t know that she meant by that because buttons are not very cute. I’ve never seen a button and was like ‘Damn, that’s cute.’ I didn’t want to take any chances, so I said, ‘Fuck you, grandma!’
One thing I noticed at the comedy clubs is that people are ruthless when it comes to comedians. If they don’t like a joke, the room is silent or people scream, “You suck!” or “Get off the stage!”
The room luckily loved both jokes. Grandma hated them. She came to my husband crying. “Why would you tell your grandma to fuck off?” she sobbed. I couldn’t understand why she couldn’t take a joke. Was it her religious upbringing that made her want her grandson to do only clean comedy? Was it that she believed the jokes to have a hint of truth to them? They didn’t at all.
I didn’t want to take any chances, so I told her “Fuck you, grandma!” See, I told you I was funnier, lol. Needless to say, grandma hates me, and my husband did not find it as amusing as I did. Maybe it was my worst joke too.
I was inspired to write this story because of Riaz Laskar’s perfect article titled How to Become a Part-Time Stand-up Comedian. In it he explains his plans for 2023 to become a comedian. It’s a hilarious article that you will not want to miss. You can find his work below.