My Husband Wants Me to Have Sex With Other Men
Chronicle of an Open Marriage #11
A big part of the reason I suggested opening our marriage was to get my husband off my back — or to get me off of it. Here’s a guy who would happily have sex twice a day, whereas I’m more of a twice-a-week kind of person. But as I’ve written in earlier stories, him getting sex elsewhere didn’t really diminish his appetite for me.
“It’s great to be desired! It’s a compliment,” some would say. And yes, that’s what I’ve been telling myself for years. I’d rather be the one pushing Hubs away than the other way around. But that doesn’t make it pleasant or easy.
Still, I’m glad we opened the marriage, though it didn’t bring the result I desired. Instead, it’s brought a number of other surprising benefits:
- I feel less oppressed by Hubby’s ingrained sexism (think “helpfully” mansplaining a better way to accomplish my various activities throughout the day), possibly because I’ve broken out of my standard gender role by suggesting this move; I’m in charge of the experiment;
- I feel less oppressed by society’s (dull) expectations for an older married couple like us; and,
- I feel less oppressed by his constant sexual desire for me, since now if I say “no” it’s with the knowledge that he has my permission to take that desire and shove it somewhere else!
I feel… I feel… I feel…That’s a lot of feelings within my body about what’s happening to his. Who knew we were so psychically connected?
And now here’s another surprising development. Hubby wants me to have sex with other men.
But why? I wonder. What would be the point? I’m not the one who is always craving more sex. (Although the new development has increased my appetite.)
He says it’s because it will make him feel better about having his own extramarital sex. It will establish “parity.” Also, we’re old. We deserve a little fun.
Hmmm.
I don’t really think I want to have sex with other men, but being given the permission to do so has got me thinking about it. And then, just the other day, out of the blue, a handsome young man with big, brown eyes and thick black lashes and a fit body flirted with me.
He played it out as a joke, with a twinkle in his seductive eyes, but it still had a tonic effect on me. And honestly, a stranger hasn’t flirted with me in years. So maybe there was something about my considering the extramarital question that invited that flirtation to happen?
The hunky man knew his overture would captivate me. He knew, on some level, that I was available to receive him. And I was. I was very much available.
That was nice.
What happened next? Read Chronicle of an Open Marriage #12. Find all of my stories about opening our marriage on the list below, or about sex in general on this one. Get an email whenever I publish. And have a marvelous day.





