My Husband Identifies as a Twenty-year-old

Summary

The article discusses the concept of "age-archy" and the idea that age is a social construct, as exemplified by the author's husband who identifies as a twenty-year-old despite being biologically older.

Abstract

The author introduces the concept of "age-archy," suggesting that societal expectations and constructs related to age are oppressive and controlling. The author's husband, despite being born in 1961, chooses to identify as a twenty-year-old, challenging the traditional markers of age such as birth dates, physical appearance, and health conditions. The article argues that the age-archy enforces stereotypes and prejudices that lead to age-related discrimination and even contribute to the societal acceptance of death as an inevitable outcome of aging. The author encourages resisting age-related social norms and embracing a fluid concept of age, advocating for the acceptance of her husband's chosen age identity and calling for an end to age-related privilege and bias.

Opinions

The author believes that age is an oppressive social construct akin to the patriarchy, terming it the "age-archy."
The article suggests that physical signs of aging are subjective and should not dictate one's age identity.
It posits that societal beliefs about aging contribute to ageism and can have serious, even lethal, consequences.
The author's husband faces social resistance for identifying as a twenty-year-old, highlighting the challenges of defying age norms.
The author advocates for her husband's right to identify with any age he chooses, emphasizing the fluidity of age.
The article criticizes the enforcement of age-related benefits, such as pensions and free prescriptions, as tools of the age-archy.
It calls for readers to confront their own age-related biases and to support the dismantling of the age-archy.

It's a social construct to say he's sixty

I have discovered the critical theory of all critical theories: the age-archy. Forget the patriarchy. The patriarchy's just a ruse by the age-archy to deflect where the actual control over society lies.

You see, age is a social construct; we're conditioned and accustomed to project assumptions onto anyone over forty. And project we do: balding, greying hair, wrinkles, collapsing sternum, sagging haunches, hobbling gaits, rotting teeth, clogged arteries, soaring blood pressure, towering cholesterol; these are all subjective markers of so-called age.

Some people flagrantly accuse my husband of being born in 1961. But the date of birth is a social construct. In reality, his D. O. B. is fluid; it changes every year. This year his D. O. B. is 2001; next year, it will be 2002. But no, the age-archy has to pin him down, control him with the man-made construct of Date of Birth.

Be under no illusions. The age-archy is a dangerous construct. It leads to so much age projection that it literally kills people. Because death is a social construct, that's right. Every year millions of people fall victim to the logical conclusions of the age-archy, and they end up in a coffin. Alzheimer's and dementia? Social constructs. Heart disease and diabetes? Social constructs. Remove the age-archy, and death is no more.

You should see the effect this insidious belief system has had on my husband.

Only yesterday, I found him with his head in his hands, looking most un-twenty-year-old-like. 'What's wrong?' I asked. He shook his head and explained. He wanted to go clubbing but feared, trembled, at the outrage he would incur when he stepped on the dance floor.

"From whom?" I asked.

"From all those who say they are the real twenty-year-olds. They'll point at me and scream, make an uproar, and say that they cannot share a dance floor with someone who is merely identifying as a twenty-year-old. They will say I threaten them, make them feel unsafe, just because I have a bandage on my leg and had to lean my walking stick up at the bar."

So I said to him. "You must be brave. You must summon all the courage and strength of your twenty years, and you must barrel onto that dance floor. And while you're at it, tell them to check their (age)privilege."

Then I reminded him he mustn't fall into the trap of confirming the age-archy. I told him he better not start collecting his pension, claiming his free bus pass, and that he should refuse free prescriptions. He went white at that. I would have urged him to sit down if that wasn't another sign of the age-archy, of which I am supremely vigilant.

After collecting himself (as twenty-year-olds do), he informed me that his age is so fluid that it can change miraculously. That just at the moment he is standing at the pharmacy register and being offered a free prescription, he suddenly identifies with being sixty. Genius. Only a twenty-year-old could think so deftly.

My husband is a victim. He is a scapegoat. He has a full set of teeth, and they are not comprised of bridges, implants and veneers. Those are YOUR prejudices. You are viewing my poor, innocent, twenty-year-old husband through the pernicious prism of your unconscious bias.

Anyone who says my husband is sixty must be torn to pieces, verbally and, if necessary, physically. And if you even venture an iota of argument, I will shriek at you:

“Look in the mirror. YOU are the problem. Because YOU are part of the age-archy.”

Sort out your prejudice now.