My Husband and I Were Invited On Jada Pinkett Smith’s Show Because of My Article

He put himself out there for me even when I couldn’t

I can’t say there was one specific goal when I started putting my thoughts and feelings out there for all the internet to see. When I dove headfirst into online writing over two years ago, my hopes were plentiful and far-reaching.

I wanted to express my creativity, connect with a community of readers and writers, improve my craft, and earn an income doing something I was passionate about.

I also wanted to be able to work through my emotions. For me, writing has always been good for my mental health.

But on top of all that, I wanted to share my experiences with others who might be able to relate — who might need to hear that they are not alone. Maybe sharing what I’ve learned could help others. Not because I’m anything extra special, but because I deal with things a lot of people deal with, and sparking conversations about issues that need to be discussed is important.

So when I got the initial email inviting me to interview for a possible appearance on Jada Pinkett Smith’s talk show, Red Table Talk, I felt a surge of emotions. It was a powerful combination of conflicting things like excitement, fear, achievement — and a hearty dose of imposter syndrome.

From one medium of communication to another

On Red Table Talk, the Smith family has shed light on current issues by speaking to real people with firsthand experience. Previous episodes have covered topics such as healing from a broken heart, how to handle awkward conversations, and suicide and mental health. The range of content spans from fun and funny to educational and emotional.

Producers of the popular Facebook Watch series contacted me after coming across one of my articles from November, titled, “Is My Husband Becoming a Conspiracy Theorist, Just Like His Dad?”

This article, published on Fearless She Wrote, had gained a little bit of traction online, but not a whole lot. I was surprised anyone had found it months after its publication, let alone people working for Mrs. Jada Pinkett Smith. (I mean, Scream 2 is one of my all-time favorite movies — though I know her work spans a long list of creative accomplishments.)

I think the show’s creators found the story because they were searching for something very specific — conspiracy theories and the turmoil they cause among loved ones. It’s a topic I could talk to you about for hours on end based on my personal experience.

I wasn’t the only online blogger being considered for the show, of course. I knew from a Facebook post I saw that Shannon Ashley, who has a much much bigger audience, was also being considered because of some real, raw, and vulnerable stories she’d so eloquently written about her relationship with her mother.

Chances were slim for me to get in, but even so, I agreed to the interview right away.

Despite the fact that I’m a nervous wreck in front of a camera and I’m not nearly as good at speaking as I am at writing (which is why I started a podcast, so I could improve my verbal communication), I was ecstatic to meet with the team to see if I might be a fit for the show.

If I’m offered a chance to speak out against political misinformation and destructive internet conspiracies that have been steadily putting a divide between me, my husband, our family, and much of the country, then I’m going to take it.

The reason? I don’t believe my relationships are the only ones affected. Donald Trump’s divisive speeches during his presidency and campaigns have created a rift between my friends and family bigger than any I’ve seen in my whole life. During those four years, a wealth of misinformation hit me from all directions — both from people online and in real life.

My husband wasn’t on board at first

My initial meeting/audition for appearing on the show went pretty well. The producers were competent and thoughtful, and they made me feel comfortable telling my story.

But, to really help people who might be going through a similar situation in their relationship, they wanted my husband to come on the show too.

“Would he be willing to meet with us next week?” one of the producers asked during our video chat.

“Um…you know, I can’t say for sure,” I said honestly. “But I’d be happy to ask him.”

Later that night, his first response was a big fat “Nope!” He didn’t like the idea of being put on the spot about such a hot topic, and he was mostly concerned about hurting his family’s feelings.

I understand completely where he’s coming from, and I would never force him to do something he wasn’t comfortable with. But I did ask if he could just take the meeting first, and decide after, once he knew more.

“The focus is mostly on the trouble in our relationship this causes, and how we’ve butted heads a lot, but we try to work through it together,” I told him.

“Oh…well I can talk about that,” he said. What a prince.

After his meeting, which he took with them alone, he was a lot more into the idea. We both agreed that we wouldn’t speak disrespectfully about our family, but we’d speak with honesty, just as I did in the story that initially drew their interest.

My husband couldn't get a read on their reaction during his meeting. He wasn’t sure he’d impressed them. But then I got the email asking if we wanted to move forward and appear on the show together.

The show was postponed — perhaps indefinitely

It was a roller coaster of a week with these producers, and I was a nervous wreck the entire time. As fun as they were to talk to, the ups and downs of pre-production made me want to reach for a cocktail daily.

First, we were scheduled to tape the show via Zoom on a Thursday. They sent a 50-pound Zoom tech kit to my house, which included a camera, microphones, and all the cables we’d need to get the best quality image and audio.

Then, on the Sunday before the taping, they asked if we’d be able to fly to Los Angeles to film the show in person at Will and Jada Smith’s home (the Red Table Talk set is actually inside their house).

Um…come again?!

As much as it pained me to say no, I had to — at first. I was on my belated honeymoon at the time and had already taken off three days of work that week. They were cool with it, but they had to move the taping to Sunday.

I could get on board with that. Even though I’d already taken off work for Thursday, I could be flexible. That’s show biz, right?

But then, two different producers of the show called on Thursday and asked if we’d reconsider flying out. They told me we could bring my son. Stay at a hotel for two nights. Fly back Monday after filming. All expenses paid.

And though I initially said yes — as long as I could clear my schedule and work out my son’s time with his dad — I went back on my response the next morning and told them I couldn’t.

There are several reasons why I turned down this out-of-this-world amazing opportunity. I’m not happy with myself for doing it — but that’s a whole other story in itself.

It all boils down to the fact that I just couldn’t get my life or my anxiety disorder together in time to suddenly hop on a plane with such short notice. But the producers weren’t a bit phased about my change of mind. They were kind and understanding, and they were still happy to have us Zoom in for the show.

When Sunday rolled around, I got another call. The conspiracy theory episode was being postponed — perhaps indefinitely. They couldn’t seem to bring the show together, and there were a couple of legal issues going on with another guest. The unused tech kit was picked up two days later.

Well — what a whirlwind!

One thing I can take away from this crazy experience is that my husband is willing to, quite literally, go to the ends of the earth for me. Even for something that’s difficult for him to do. He was willing to put himself in the hot seat — to talk about the hard parts of our relationships and the things we fight about in front of millions of viewers.

All because he believes in me and supports me in my work.

Keep putting yourself out there, even if you think no one is listening

You know when they say, “It’s an honor just to be nominated”? Well, in my case, it’s true. For a writer with a relatively small-ish readership (but a readership I appreciate and cherish, no matter the size), knowing this kind of shining opportunity can happen means it might happen again.

It can happen for you too, even if you don’t have a ton of loyal readers. Just keep creating quality stories. Keep going. Keep doing what you love to do, as long as you feel passionate about it.

You can never be sure how your words might resonate with others and contribute to important discussions that we as a society need to keep having.

Thank you for reading. Sign up for my newsletter, and you’ll get updates on my latest creations. You can also connect with me on the Sex Curious Podcast and Twitter.