My Happiness Doesn’t Come from Stuff at All
What makes real people happy
Happiness is in the frequency, not the intensity.
That’s the punchline of an article I wrote last week about how to spend money to maximize happiness.
I reviewed research that showed that frequently spending money on small indulgences like a daily latte makes most people happier than large but infrequent splurges, like one night out at a fancy restaurant each month.
I received a lot of great comments and feedback from readers who shared what made them happy. In this post, I’ll share my favorite responses from that article.
Here’s a link to the original article if you want to read it for context.
A lesson in formating my writing
The comment that first fought my eye was from Aldric Chen, who highlighted the final line of the article, “Happiness is in the frequency, not the intensity,” and said;
this punchline should be right up front with your intro! It sums things up so well!
Aldric was right, that line sums up my point, and I should stop making a habit of burying the lede.
Some of the best things in life are, in fact, free
Suzanne Saturday replied by saying:
My happiness doesn’t come from stuff at all.
Sure, I need clothing that’s appropriate for the occasion. I need a safe, comfortable home. But my happiness comes from going to dance class, playing in parks/beaches with my dog. Getting around town on my ebike. Having conversations with people — — old friends or people I just met.
Playing my flute in church is such a joy. Eating a great meal cooked at home tastes & feels so much better than anything I get in a restaurant. (I’m vegan & I went to culinary school, so dining out isn’t fun anymore.)
I used to travel a lot.
But now I don’t want to miss the beautiful life I’ve created for myself at home. I feel best at home in New York with my people, my activities, my dog & my kitchen.
At the heart of the research on money and happiness I reviewed in the article was about “maximizing the amount of time you feel good and minimizing the amount of time you feel bad.”
Part of the problem I laid out is that we do have limited budgets, so we can’t constantly indulge ourselves on big or even small purchases, or we’ll run out of money too quickly.
But, Suzzane reminds us that the more we can find happiness in the free things in life, the happier we’ll be and the easier our financial lives will be too.
The inevitable guilt of spending money — even on what we enjoy
Becky Hunter-Kelm wrote:
This was such a validating post!
We just spent a LOT on a trip (see my last post), and I’ve been feeling a lot of guilt over it, but now I’m back and my family has those memories.
I’m 100% happy we did it!
In the original post, I get into the science behind why traveling makes so many people happy. There are three benefits of travel that increase happiness:
- The anticipation of travel
- Enjoying the trip while it’s happening
- Building memories that bring a smile to your face years later
Some people love their big indulgences
There is almost no subject that involves money or happiness where universal truths apply to everyone in the same way.
Yes, the research shows that small but frequent indulgences usually bring more happiness than rare but big splurges… but that’s not true for everyone.
On that point, Rita Schooley wrote:
I love the big indulgences — a great vacation. I spend time beforehand reading up on the place, anticipating the hiking or sightseeing, whatever we’re doing.
All of this extends that vacation to months. But I like the small things in life, too: daily lattes (cold or hot, per the season), swimming, and painting.
Why can’t we have both?
Yeah, I make stupid typos
I’ll end on a light note with Vendor, who wrote to point out a rather silly typo that slipped past me:
Is a CArolla a newer model of the COrolla?
Otherwise I agree.
While we’re here, what do you find is the best use of money to buy happiness; spending on small, frequent indulgences or rare but expensive splurges?
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