My Growing Collection Of Orgasms In A Jar

Summary

The website content describes a unique and personal collection of "orgasms in a jar," humorously presented as a hobby surpassing conventional collections like stamps or coins.

Abstract

The article titled "My Growing Collection Of Orgasms In A Jar" is a creative and satirical take on the concept of collecting, suggesting that the author's collection of orgasms is more exciting than traditional collectibles. The author humorously compares their collection to various common hobbies, such as collecting teacups, coins, or even toenail clippings, and emphasizes the effort and excitement involved in expanding their unconventional collection. The piece is a response to a writing prompt challenge and showcases the author's passion for their unique "hobby," touting it as superior to more mundane collections.

Opinions

The author implies that their collection of orgasms is more enjoyable and fulfilling than typical hobbies, which they list with a humorous tone.
There is a suggestion that collecting orgasms involves a significant amount of effort and dedication, akin to big game hunting or a rigorous workout routine.
The author expresses a sense of pride and satisfaction in their collection, considering it more impressive than what others might find interesting or valuable.
The piece playfully mocks the idea of traditional collecting, implying that such hobbies can be odd or even disgusting, while the author's collection is portrayed as superior and more exhilarating.
The author is open to sharing their collection with others and even invites contributions, indicating a sense of community or shared experience in their unique passion.

Hey, it’s more fun than garage sales or record shops

Stamps, coins, baseball cards, sand from every place you’ve vacationed, penis statues. Everywhere we turn, people gather, exhibit, and boast about amazing assortments.

Royal Albert teacups or Prince Albert piercings. My Little Ponies or banana stickers. Middle-aged women amass furry felines while their straight male counterparts collect ex-wives.

My neighbor furtively fills her yard with anything rusty or broken that anyone else tries to ditch or dump. My dad despises squirrels, referring to them as “those little f*ckers who I keep trying to teach to swim”. And yet he lines his shelves with rodent-shaped salt and pepper shakers, candles, and figurines.

I’m sure you know of some oddball who labels their toenail clippings or shares a 37-minute long retell of happening upon the much-coveted Mary Poppins PEZ worth $1250 at the local thrift shop. Pillows, bagpipes, BTS bobbleheads. Weird, wonderful, or downright disgusting, collections are everywhere.

But is anyone’s beautiful batch of stuff as incredible as my collection of orgasms in a jar? I think not.

“Collecting is my passion.” Ursula Andress

Orgasms aren’t always the easiest items to amass. But oh, this collection is worth it. My stockpile has involved more sweat than the Rock’s morning workout and big game hunting more substantial than Jim Corbett and Ernest Hemingway combined.

Sometimes dry spells force me to twist off the lid and simply inhale the scent of ones already cramming the jug’s inner edges. Memories, sweet memories, intoxicate. My fingers linger on the calendar, twisting about future dates, drooling over when I’ll stumble upon more.

Maybe you think my frenzied spasms aren’t as cutting-edge as your decoupaged jewelry boxes. That’s fine. Have fun at dusty antique shops and Saturday morning flea markets. I doubt I’ll find what I’m looking for there — though I’m not opposed to a quickie behind the row of pale porcelain pitchers if it means another slippery sucker to thrust into my urn.

Keep your stamps, baseball cards, and toenails. I’ve got the best damn collection ever. Feel free to come on over and check it out. I’ll even let you add to it.

WRITING PROMPT COLLECTIONS

My Growing Collection Of Orgasms In A Jar

Hey, it’s more fun than garage sales or record shops