My Grandmother Used Vaseline As a Moisturizer

What she taught me about being a lady

My maternal grandmother's name was Alice. Some people affectionately called her Miss Alice, Ms. A, or Ali Moe.

She was a military wife who had traveled around the world with her husband and children. After their separation, in the late 1950s, she and her children moved to St. Nicholas Housing Project in Harlem.

Around 1972, we moved further uptown to a pre-war tenement building that my father secured for his young family. My grandmother came in to take over the household soon after.

I spent a lot of time with my Cancerian grandmother who was complicated but nurturing at the same time. She survived a tumultuous marriage that left her deeply wounded. Regardless of that, she enjoyed talking about her travels and experiences. I cozied up to hear stories of what she learned living in places like New Mexico and Germany. That is where she mastered the art of making sauerbraten, one of her specialty dishes that I didn’t appreciate as a young girl. Her thin and crispy pancakes on Sunday mornings were my favorite.

The thing that made her special was the meticulous way she carried herself. My grandmother was all about keeping up appearances and that included the way she dressed, the way she carried herself in public, and especially the upkeep of her home.

When you opened the door to our railroad apartment, you could see the living room in the distance adorned with white and blue sheer curtains that she ironed. Sometimes I helped her iron them and that was not an easy thing to do with chiffon and satin fabrics. They would slide all around on the ironing board while she fussed with me about how to iron them the correct way.

She had a glass coffee table and side tables filled with small crystal trinkets. The grandkids were forbidden to go anywhere near the tables which was kind of hard to do since we had to trek through the living room to get to the bedroom but most times we were careful to avoid getting in trouble. Sometimes my younger brother and I would sneak in there just to test her patience and one time, we broke one of her crystal pieces. There were repercussions.

We had a baby blue fabric sofa set that was imprinted with pastel flowers. I was allowed to hang out in the living room and sit on the couches only when she permitted us to. My aunt would coax me into challenging her living room rules and we would lay on the pristinely waxed wood floors next to the speakers and sing along to albums by Natalie Cole or DeBarge we played on the record player.

In her bedroom, the bed was made up as if it were in a fine hotel. I learned how to tuck the sheets properly and to make up the bed when I wake up in the mornings. She smoothed out the comforter and pillows and placed a throw blanket across the foot of the bed. The color pink was added for that pop to the ambiance. And you better not sit on her bed, she didn’t play that!

The only ones allowed to be on the bed were her newborn grandchildren and other babies she was entrusted to care for in our extended family. My grandmother would carefully lay a receiving blanket just right in the center of the bed and place the sleeping babies there.

My favorite thing to do was use the products invitingly displayed on her dresser. Ironed lace dollies were laid across the top. In the middle was a jewelry box. All of the fragrances were on one side and the other side were lipsticks standing erect in their cases. The tub of Vaseline was neatly placed there as well although sometimes she moved it to her nightstand.

The Vaseline routine was more of a thing she did before she went to bed. My grandmother would begin with moisturizing her face, rubbing a dab of the thick grease in diligently including her neck and hands. She paid special attention to her elbows. A dollop of Vaseline was used to rub each foot and then she placed a pair of socks on her feet afterwards. I follow this regimen religiously but I now use raw shea butter (try it, you’ll thank me later).

My grandmother wasn’t without flaws but she was a lady. Her naturally superior presence and refined mannerisms garnered attention wherever she went.

I learned that beauty involves a bit of vanity. It is important to take extra care in your hygiene, create a home and space that you love and is inviting, pick out neat clothing that is flattering to your physique and makes you feel good, and don’t rush to get things done but take your time and that you must have structure in your life.

She advised me after I had my baby, that as a new mother time management is important and to set a schedule each day so I can get things done.

The biggest lesson I learned from my grandmother is that a lady creates the beauty around her. She didn’t have to speak these words out of her mouth to me because as her first granddaughter who closely observed both her disconcerting challenges and unmatched value, it is what I like to think she would want to pass down — her sophisticated nature to the next generation of girls in her family.

Miss Alice transitioned on April 28, 2001, at the age of 73 years of old.

SaidbySimone🤎

If you liked my story, give me some claps, as many as your finger can tap. Also, please comment and let me know your thoughts.

Thank you for reading and until next time…peace✌🏽