avatarSrini

Free AI web copilot to create summaries, insights and extended knowledge, download it at here

2276

Abstract

ing</p><p id="d351"><b>10:29 P.M.</b> ARE YOU FOR REAL, GOOGLE?</p><p id="a417"><b>10:36 P.M.</b> how is it fair to me that i SUCK at kissing????</p><p id="fd89"><b>11:47 P.M.</b> how to kiss someone other than your girl without sucking at kissing — without getting caught by your girl?</p><p id="87ff"><b>11:47 P.M. </b>how to kiss someone other than your girl without sucking at kissing — WHILE getting caught by your girl?</p><p id="df4e"><b>11:48 P.M.</b> is she mad because i was kissing a guy while she caught me???</p><p id="66fb"><b>11:49 P.M.</b> is she homophobic or something???</p><p id="c573"><b>11:50 P.M.</b> would she have been equally mad if it was some girl i was kissing while she caught me, huh?</p><p id="c53b"><b>11:51 P.M. </b>is she mad because i was kissing her younger brother?</p><p id="2f52"><b>11:52 P.M.</b> would she have been equally mad if i was kissing her older brother?</p><p id="f69a"><b>11:53 P.M.</b> what about kissing BOTH her older and younger <i>sisters</i>?</p><p id="55d9"><b>11:54 P.M.</b> how come kissing is not considered cheating in Antarctica?</p><p id="1f70"><b>11:55 P.M. </b>what flights are available to Antarctica in the next forty minutes?</p><p id="f76f"><b>11:57 P.M. </b>how many<b> </b>kissing booths are in Antarctica and how much they will pay me when i kiss someone once???</p><p id="cf61"><b>11:59 P.M. </b>will they say “i love you” back if i kiss them for free?</p><p id="05dd">Wouldn’t you rather be laughing? Follow <a href="https://medium.com/muddyum">MuddyUm</a> and <a href="https://medium.com/@srini-here">Srini</a></p><p id="68b2">A massive thanks to <a href="undefined">T. Kent Jones</a> for tirelessly keeping up with my timeline.</p><p id="14b4"><b>If you’ve NEVER done a Google search after cheating on your boy/girl — with or without getting caught by your dog and/or girl, PLEASE DO NOT EVEN scroll down:</b></p><div id="ab4b" class="link-block"> <a href="https://muddyum.net/positive-affirmations-for-the-employee-facing-adversity-at-work-f8e1eb074bbd"> <div> <div> <h2>Positive Affirmations for the Employee Facing Adversity at Work</h2> <div><h3>I’m in a happy place and I don’t need my salary to define my worth</h3></div>

Options

          <div><p>muddyum.net</p></div>
          </div>
          <div>
            <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*NNBBKe3Ze9pMNu-u2Nalbw.jpeg)"></div>
          </div>
        </div>
      </a>
    </div><div id="6ed6" class="link-block">
      <a href="https://muddyum.net/things-that-shift-my-mood-e890198b7c5c">
        <div>
          <div>
            <h2>Things That Shift My Mood</h2>
            <div><h3>When I type the wrong password into my online bank account</h3></div>
            <div><p>muddyum.net</p></div>
          </div>
          <div>
            <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*juDJHbBfBIVFKMR1g75DYA.jpeg)"></div>
          </div>
        </div>
      </a>
    </div><div id="67c3" class="link-block">
      <a href="https://muddyum.net/coolest-new-comedy-thriller-tv-shows-3c64c98561d1">
        <div>
          <div>
            <h2>Coolest New Comedy/Thriller TV Shows</h2>
            <div><h3>It’s hilarious until it isn’t</h3></div>
            <div><p>muddyum.net</p></div>
          </div>
          <div>
            <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*BdeQIQbfrvAvpQcHLZaLSg.jpeg)"></div>
          </div>
        </div>
      </a>
    </div><div id="ec85" class="link-block">
      <a href="https://www.muddyum.org/">
        <div>
          <div>
            <h2>Comedy | Garden of Neuro</h2>
            <div><h3>Garden of Neuro Presents the MuddyUm, the fun place for funny. Humor and Comedy!</h3></div>
            <div><p>www.muddyum.org</p></div>
          </div>
          <div>
            <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*aYkzYOYtOeGomrK4)"></div>
          </div>
        </div>
      </a>
    </div><figure id="4eac"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*ELp7fVZ5I2Y0qnIJIqhSjQ.png"><figcaption>Brand art by <a href="https://davidtoddmccarty.medium.com/">David Todd McCarty</a></figcaption></figure></article></body>

SAY I LOVE YOU BACK

My Google Search History in the Last Twenty-Four Hours

“Why on earth is kissing considered cheating?”

Photo by Kamaji Ogino from Pexels

12:06 A.M. why didn’t my girl say “i love you” back even once in the last six hours when I said “i love you” eighteen times?

1:14 A.M. do you know if my girl loves me half as much as i love her?

1:29 A.M. does ANYONE know if my girl loves me a quarter as much as I love her?

1:59 A.M. does my girl currently know I actually still exist?

2:19 A.M. how do i make my girl know i really exist but not like super aggressively????????

2:49 A.M. why don’t you take a wild guess as to why my girl is mad at me?

3:06 A.M. is she mad because i cheated on her nine hours ago?

3:47 A.M. is she mad because she unexpectedly caught me cheating on her nine hours ago?

4:13 A.M. is she mad because i didn’t stop cheating on her even after she caught me red-handed nine hours ago?

7:08 A.M. why do people say caught red-handed and not black-handed?

11:11 A.M. has anyone’s blood color been identified as black?

12:06 P.M. is she mad because i didn’t formally invite her for a make-up threesome?

2:37 P.M. human blood color white. real or fake?

4:11 P.M. is she mad because i’m not mad at her?

5:19 P.M. is kissing considered cheating?

7:49 P.M. why on earth is kissing considered cheating?

7:59 P.M. which city on earth doesn’t consider kissing as cheating?

9:13 P.M. which country on earth doesn’t consider kissing as cheating?

10:17 P.M. which continent on earth doesn’t consider kissing as cheating

10:29 P.M. ARE YOU FOR REAL, GOOGLE?

10:36 P.M. how is it fair to me that i SUCK at kissing????

11:47 P.M. how to kiss someone other than your girl without sucking at kissing — without getting caught by your girl?

11:47 P.M. how to kiss someone other than your girl without sucking at kissing — WHILE getting caught by your girl?

11:48 P.M. is she mad because i was kissing a guy while she caught me???

11:49 P.M. is she homophobic or something???

11:50 P.M. would she have been equally mad if it was some girl i was kissing while she caught me, huh?

11:51 P.M. is she mad because i was kissing her younger brother?

11:52 P.M. would she have been equally mad if i was kissing her older brother?

11:53 P.M. what about kissing BOTH her older and younger sisters?

11:54 P.M. how come kissing is not considered cheating in Antarctica?

11:55 P.M. what flights are available to Antarctica in the next forty minutes?

11:57 P.M. how many kissing booths are in Antarctica and how much they will pay me when i kiss someone once???

11:59 P.M. will they say “i love you” back if i kiss them for free?

Wouldn’t you rather be laughing? Follow MuddyUm and Srini

A massive thanks to T. Kent Jones for tirelessly keeping up with my timeline.

If you’ve NEVER done a Google search after cheating on your boy/girl — with or without getting caught by your dog and/or girl, PLEASE DO NOT EVEN scroll down:

Brand art by David Todd McCarty
Satire
Humor
Culture
Creativity
Travel
Recommended from ReadMedium