My Furnace Named Flash

A journey through my menopause

I remember the day I had my first hot flash.

I was 40 years old, and the feeling of warmth took over. I knew I wasn’t coming down with anything. It wasn’t the same feeling as a fever. My reaction wasn’t how a lot of women may react. Believe it or not, mine was YAY. I actually was looking forward to menopause and the end of the monthly “friend”.

I remember my mother talking about her hot flashes. She would show me her hands, and they would be like puddles of water. She always kept her handheld fan close.

Now, it looked like I’d joined the club. The club all we women know we will someday be joining.

Some earlier than others.

Some later.

Want to or not, we will be members of the club.

I remember calling my mother after that first “flash.” She confirmed what I felt was no doubt a hot flash. She laughed and said, “It’s your turn now.”

Oh, joy of joy. Gee, thanks, Mom. No sympathy coming my way.

Years of flannel sheets, flannel pajamas, and layers of blankets were soon to be over.

Luckily, I did not fare as badly as my mother. She had a really rough time with menopause. Hot flashes and the hormonal changes changed her life. When they say a woman is going through the change, she certainly experienced changes. The hot flashes and mood swings, just to name a couple.

For me, luckily, hot flashes were primarily it, and I’m not complaining. I do enjoy not having to be bundled up during the winter when I go to sleep.

I wish hot flashes could be turned on and off when they would be most practical. Wouldn’t that be great?

Imagine this. The temperature is below zero, winds are blowing, and you have to go out to meet friends. You’re tempted to stay in because you just don’t want to brave the cold. Oh, yeah. You’re going through menopause. Hit the button. Yes. Warmth. Off to that meeting with friends. You can do it.

Yes, that would be amazing if we could control it.

Alas, we can not. The nice part is over time, at least for me, they started to come less often after I turned 60.

Then, the breast cancer diagnosis came.

Little did I know that chemo and immunotherapy — not sure if it was just one or the other or both — would bring those hot flashes back on a more regular basis.

Just what I needed, especially during the summer months. There's nothing like waking up, and it feels like someone dropped a glass of water over your head. Oh my. Then radiation began, and again, the hot flashes reared their ugly heads.

As a woman, I know this is my rite of passage. There is no getting around this one. There are hormones you can take and probably various vitamins or supplements. That’s never been an option for me. I’m all for finding a natural way to deal with this if I can.

So, for now, I’ll just sit back and try to make the best of my little internal furnace. Hopefully, soon I will get back to just the occasional flare-up. Maybe a “pause” in the lovely side effect of meno”pause”.

Thoughts a Thinking a name I chose as I wanted to base my writing on thoughts I have. Newly retired and loving it. Time to do what I’ve always wanted to do and that’s write. Hope you all enjoy. Feel free to check out my stories on Medium