SELF-LOVE AND HEALING
My Fuchsia Dress
The past un-pretzeled
My fuchsia dress I found folded and rolled like the pretzels he favored
Like my doggedly contortionist soul finding no comfort in its crate, barking till even the neighbors down the street made comments
Such a pernicious dough of twisted storylines he kneaded
Such vile perversions of blessed sustenance*
- Pretzels were commonly distributed to the poor, as a way of providing them with both spiritual and literal sustenance. History.com
Would I bite? Yes Could I swallow? No
though I stomached it
Oh, how I wanted to believe in that snapshot I took scissors to the day sniper-eyed truth projectile vomited over the photographer’s careful staging
Me in my fuchsia dress by the teal sea His narcissus gaze unable to see stingrays, rip tides, eels, flower urchins mirrored in blue back at him
His arm about my shoulders already taking aim
It’s no coincidence his name means spear
In my fuchsia dress – unfolded, unrolled – I found a slit in the hem
Inches deep, a clean cut from a sharper pair of scissors than I own
What a great excuse to buy myself a bouquet
of eleven hot pink peonies*
- During Victorian times, the peony flower was seen as a representation of anger. However…these flowers are now linked to happiness, prosperity, and good fortune. Symbolikon.com
©Jenine Bsharah Baines 2022
Who knew a slashed dress would spark a poem? A poem I had decided not to submit. But, then, I read this line in Patrick M. Ohana’s Love Hurts Us Too: “Smiling wryly after each chest-felt spear.”
My Muse uses the word ‘spear’ too! Plus both poems are about the sad side of love. I took it as a sign.
Thank you, Trista Signe Ainsworth, and Sharing Randomly for the prompt, Your Self-Love Journey.
A simple action. Tossing a fuchsia dress from the past into the trash.
A profound action. I am further than I realized down the road of healing, of Self-Love — a concept I once mistakenly viewed as Conceit’s arrogant, obnoxious cousin.
Thank you, dearest readers, for holding my hand when the road got scary, twisted, narrow, you name it…Love.
please click here if inclined to ponder, play, dream with me.
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