My Friend Isn’t Allowed to See Their Dog in Divorce
Something my own dog did shows how unfair this really is
When my friend said their ex was making it impossible to see their dog it broke my heart. Not only for the human aspect but for the canine one.
Not long after my own divorce, I was walking my chocolate lab, Hazel.
What she did brought me to tears.
I had moved from my house to an apartment. It was early evening and Hazy and I are making our way down the sidewalk next to my building. She’s up in years and moving slowly.
But she suddenly pulls me with urgency.
I’m confused because she’s moving toward the other side of the road.
I follow Hazel’s lead and cross the street with her.
She is moving fast and I pick up my speed to keep up with her. That’s when I spot him. A man who could be my ex-husband’s doppelganger.
He’s 6 feet 3 inches and has almost the exact build.
Even I might have confused him in the distance.
I fight back the tears.
My heart breaks for Hazy. She has enthusiastically sought out this man thinking it’s her human daddy. She slows down when she realizes her own mistake.
She obviously misses my ex-husband.
But he has never come looking for her during or after our divorce.
My ex-husband wasn’t a dog lover. That’s putting it mildly. Essentially, he ignored our dogs and just walked past them. He wasn’t mean to them he just had no interest in them.
Needless to say, we didn’t fight over our chocolate lab Hazel during our divorce.
As much as I loved her my ex-husband saw dogs as a nuisance.
Something my boys and I still can’t fathom.
I got mad when I found out my friend’s spouse was weaponizing their dog. It’s incredibly selfish and self-serving. It’s absolutely unkind to do to an animal.
Dogs are pack animals and we are a part of that pack.
They look for us.
They wait for us.
They live for us.
They certainly don’t understand divorce. They peer out that window still waiting for everyone they love to return home. What adult believes they deserve to keep an innocent animal from not only someone who loves them but from someone they continue to look for?
It’s no different than how people weaponize children and money in divorce.
It’s controlling, manipulative, punishing, and wrong.
My friend would have negotiated dog custody during their divorce had they thought it would be an issue. They did not. They thought they could occasionally spend time with their dog.
I think one of the worst parts of divorce…
That people can be so spoiled, selfish, and self-centered that they are incapable of doing the right thing. They will use the vulnerable love of even a dog to get back at their spouse.
Worse, they get away with it.
Hazel got little to no attention from my husband.
My three boys and I are the ones that showered her with love. But dogs are innately giving. They aren’t looking for anything in return. They are just happy existing within our world.
Hazel loved my ex-husband whether he deserved it or not.
And that still brings tears to my eyes.