My Friend Didn’t Get A Job Because He is Not “Pushy” Enough
When did being “pushy ”become a good skill?
My friend applied for a job. I was sure that he would get it.
The successful applicant was required to have at least 1-year of experience in the media industry.
My friend has 20-year experience. He launched worldwide campaigns with some of the biggest brands out there — P&G, Coca Cola to name a few. In my opinion, he was overqualified.
He excelled in his first interview. Within two days, he had an interview with the manager. He was asked questions about his previous experiences — his answers were impeccable. The interview went over an hour and he had a good feeling about the application, he seemed confident.
Within a week the HR called him to let him know that they decided to go with another candidate. They told my friend: “ You have enormous experience in the industry. But it’s my professional feeling that you aren’t pushy enough for this role.”
I was appalled. So let me get this straight: “20-year experienced marketing manager, with a proven track record of delivering results, with fluent knowledge of three languages, with 10 credible references didn’t get the job as a marketing coordinator?”
Yes, it was a junior-level position.
My friend was devastated. He needs a job. He was ready to accept a junior position. He lowered his salary expectations.
He would dye his hair blond!
After all, his wife is pregnant and the corona crisis is not going anywhere.
But there was one thing he wasn’t ready to do. He won’t change who he is and become “unpleasant” and “pushy” because the role requires it. Even though the ad said otherwise:
“We are looking for a creative, result-oriented, and attentive individual for this role.”
Not a word about “must be pushy”.
I’ve worked in marketing and sales for some time now. And I would be offended if someone called me “pushy”. Being “pushy” is overstepping boundaries with business partners. It’s plain rudeness.
I’ve met a lot of “pushy” salesmen and they have a trait of bulldozing people when they say “no” because they don’t care about their clients, they are too focused on their own agenda.
They are unable to respect other’s differences and seek compromises. Sometimes these people attempt to control other people with aggression or even manipulative tactics. Trying to force another person’s hand just to get what they want is selfish and unprofessional and we should not be encouraging people to do this or hire such people.
But perhaps I live in another world.
I’ve been in positions where my work required me to organize and be in charge of groups of people. In order to do my job well, I had to be very approachable and have a genuine interest in people.
I believe that business is personal.
I always encouraged my colleagues to be involved in decision-making processes rather than “dictating” them what to do.
Respect is earned by being kind, supportive, and by giving respect back.
“Pushy ”people aren’t respected— they are avoided. “Pushy ”people don't get results — they gain enemies. “Pushy ”people don’t make businesses — they burn bridges.
Now I know that by not hiring my friend the company did him a favor. He would not fit because he is genuinely interested in serving his clients.
And he is consistent in staying the kind, selfless and compassionate person who makes long-term friendships/partnerships and make-sense businesses based on mutual respect.
Good for him.
When I have my own company, I will hire him.
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