Humor

My Friend Almost Lost Her Virginity to a Hand Shower

She is still eligible for an arranged marriage

“Indians are obsessed with virginity, if you were thinking what’s my subtitle about.” — Bhavna Narula

So I have a family function to attend the following weekend and I DO NOT have any proper clothes for the occasion. I never do. I spent a third of my salary last month on clothes shopping, yet I am facing a clothes-deficit.

So I call up my best friend Vani to help me with the shopping. We both decided to meet at the megamall post-lunch. Because that’s the time, the COVID-19 virus is the least effective. That’s not proven research yet but only common sense. A lesser amount of people are seen at 3 in the afternoon, so fewer people equals more social distancing. No? Not buying it?

Alright, let’s get down to business.

So Vani and I meet up at the mall. She is waiting for me at the entrance. It’s my shopping but she is the one waiting. That’s what true friendship looks like, I thought to myself.

We head towards the mall’s flea market because let’s face it, mall shopping is a style statement, but going there doesn’t magically increase our wallet-strength. So we head to the Tunic-special shop on the first floor.

Vani BTW is a pro-level shopper.

She will look at all prospects with equal fervor. She gives every pattern, texture, color, shape, a chance to sell itself. Had she shown the same fervor with the matrimonial website, she would have been married by now.

I, on the other hand, reject items on the spot if they don’t appeal to me in the first impression. Ironically, it is often amongst those rejected pieces, I get my perfect dress. This is exactly the attitude I show with the matrimonial website and hence remain unmarried to date.

You see there, Vani and I are tailor-made buddies. So getting her for shopping was a smart move after all.

The shop we had selected was always high on discounts and Vani had picked up most of her tunics from that shop itself. She was as well-versed with the shop as the two sales girls working there.

After an hour of scanning, pointing, picking, molesting, touching, trying, and rejecting various tunics, we finally zeroed in on two amazing pieces.

Vani is not an editor, but rejecting stuff did give her a different kind of high.

But sometimes, she can be a real pain-in-the-ass, especially when she keeps checking the shops surrounding the main shop just for ‘General knowledge’ which pisses me off. Luckily, she had left her younger sister with her grandmother who was not keeping well, so she had to hurry back home. THANK GOD.

Before heading back home, we decided to grab a bite. But all that hours of shopping in the Mall’s AC had filled up our bladders. Now, no matter how delicious the food would be, the bladder would remain the show-stealer unless you emptied its content and send it where it belonged — In the sewage system!

I and Vani found the last two toilet stalls empty. I occupied the last one and she occupied the second last. Just a few seconds into it and I heard a brief screaming voice coming from her stall.

My eyes popped out wide and my ongoing business slowed down for a while. I tried to focus my ear on the left side to ensure what I heard had indeed happened.

In that instant, I heard a loud ‘whoosh’, indicating water flowing followed by another brief screaming from my friend which must have reached the two ladies standing in line to use the stall, the two cleaning ladies, and the two occupants of the remaining two stalls.

They obviously won’t say a thing but I decided to let go of my mother’s rule of never talking while seated on a commode and asked, “Vani, are you okay. what happened?’’

Vani ignored my question and we left the washroom in silence away from the prying eyes.

For the next 15 minutes, I kept running that scream in my mind. We got a seat at the food court, we ordered a classic burger from the Burger king stall, we cursed the woman who was trying to get a view of my friend’s credit card’s PIN code while she made the payment, and we even treated our eyes with some handsome guys on the right side of our table. But the question remained the same.

Why did she shout?

Vani- ‘’Oh common Bhavna. You’re still stuck there. Let it go now.’’

Me and my curiosity- ‘’Nope, tell me what happened, please?’’

Vani looked here and there, waited for the two janitors to move at least 10 feet away from us, bend towards me, and chuckled, ‘’I almost lost my virginity today.’’

Me- ‘’Whhhhhaaaattt? When? How? Whaaattttt?’’

Vani- ‘’Hehehehehe, yeah, I think the hand shower in my stall was too horny.’’

Me, still shooting blank looks at her.

Vani- ‘’The moment I pressed the hand shower’s handle, the water came with such force, I felt someone took me right there in the stall, without an erection, or a hard tool. Just soft water, but with force, and a lot of it.’’

I wanted to snout or frown even but I definitely didn’t know how to comment on that. After she narrated her experience, I realized the same thing had happened to me but I just jumped up with shock on the toilet seat and ensured I don’t use that hand spray again.

That brought me to my next question.

Me- ‘’So, you felt like the water tried to take away your virginity just by its force, and yet you let it reach down on you the second time. Because as far as I remember I heard your screams twice.’’

With that question, I realized I had practically accused her of enjoying the free session of water masturbation, that too in a public restroom. The higher the stakes of getting caught, the more the pleasure.

‘’No ya, I used it the second time thinking I pressed it too hard the first time. I thought if I handle it delicately the second time, it will go gentle on me. But it didn’t. It was as rough as the first time.’’

She saved her smartass.

We both paused for a moment and exchanged looks that felt like the conversation had gone in a completely different direction altogether.

We quietly ate our burgers, controlled our urge to use the restroom again before leaving, bade goodbye, and successfully hid the fact that we both had embarrassed ourselves that day.

She, by letting out her pleasurable screams in public, and me, by openly hinting her enjoying it.

P.S. In India, there are still a species of friends who do not talk about sex, masturbation, or virginity out in the open. And definitely not in the food court of a mega mall.

In this entire incident, the silver lining for her was, that her virginity remained intact. Thanks to my on-time interference or else she wouldn’t have left the stall without completing the wedding night rituals with that hand shower.

Poor thing, the hand shower. Got blamed for being horny, whereas the fact is that it never stands up on its own unless being held and touched.

©Bhavna Narula, 2021.