My First Friendsgiving Potluck ❤
Beyond Thanksgiving…
I’m not American, but I have lived here for years now. Yet, this is my first time participating in something Thanksgiving this year.
I don’t think I even tried Thanksgiving dishes before... Unless you count the similar turkey dish and side dishes we eat on New Year’s Eve in Türkiye.
I’m not here to discuss the politics of Thanksgiving, and I’ve already read a lot about it on Medium, so let’s leave that alone for now.
I want to shine a light on the power of community, celebrate real friendships, and strengthen healthy family bonds.
And also, the power of coming together to spend time — be it Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year, Ramadan, Diwali, etc.
The concept of Friendsgiving is coming together with friends and enjoying a Thanksgiving dinner. Everyone has their own take on the rules and dishes.
The concept of Potluck is a get-together where everyone contributes to the meals shared at the dinner table. It’s about enjoying a meal together.
There are similar things in different cultures that are like a potluck or Friendsgiving potluck. For example, we have something called “gün” in Türkiye. The word itself means “day,” but the word is also used among older generation women to refer to a get-together that’s like a potluck.
Each person cooks something and brings a dish to the table. This usually takes place during the daytime, and I guess that’s why it’s called “gün.”
I learned this during my college when my room mate was big about hosting potlucks every now and then. She loved cooking, sharing, eating, and having good conversation with friends.
Usually, she’d be the one making the biggest dish, or the main course. She once baked me a cake on my birthday and celebrated by throwing a potluck with friends. And once, she threw a sushi potluck where she made all kinds of sushi from scratch. We just brought the soy sauce and the pickled ginger.
It’s interesting how a shared meal makes people happy, and they enjoy it together. After all, they say, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”
Man = People
Turkish version of this is, “The key to someone’s heart is through their stomach.”
Shared meals have this cultural significance across the world. They may serve as symbols of unity, generosity, and community.
Ramadan, for example, a sacred month in Islam, becomes a communal experience when the time for “iftar” arrives, which is the time to break fasting.
Families and friends gather for dinner, and they share a meal as well as social bonds. This also extends outside their social circle.
During Ramadan, they are encouraged to invite people without homes and families, and the less fortunate to their iftar table and share a meal with them. Even though I’m not religious at all, this, to me, is such a powerful message of spiritual connections and oneness.
The act of sharing a loaf of bread together strengthens our bonds, celebrates the humanity we share, and encourages understanding and hospitality.
For this Friendsgiving Potluck in the US, I thought about my previous potluck experiences and how people around me changed but the pureness of the experience stayed the same.
So, we decided that the host family would make the turkey, a friend would make apple pie and stuffed mushrooms, another friend would make mashed potatoes and glazed carrots, and my partner and I would make pumpkin pie and apple-cranberry puff pastry.
The meals were all so delicious, but the best part of the night was after the shared meal when we shared conversations. The topics of the conversation kept changing, but the intentions, love, support, and understanding were the same throughout.
First of all, there was no judgment on this particular table. You know, people talk a lot about their “Uncle Ben,” who goes on and on about politics at the table. Or an auntie who always judges you for still not getting married or having kids.
There were no politics in this one, even though we know we are all on the same page about politics.
This experience was all about love and understanding, which I want to cherish and remember the feeling of it all.
The feeling of safety and belonging is nurturing to the soul.
We talked about life, work, conspiracy theories, horror stories, weird things around the world, how languages work, how it’s so intriguing to learn about different cultures, etc.
Overall, I had a blast, and I can only hope that my Medium family had similar experiences at potlucks with friends or family.
It was interesting to remember all the potlucks I’ve participated in throughout the years as I was sitting at this table.
It’s like a montage scene of me sharing a meal with friends at a table. The table, the location of the potluck, the food on the table, and the friends sitting at the table with me, changed during this montage.
I’m selective with friends, and I usually don’t let people in so quickly. That’s why I noticed how even though friends change throughout the years at the potluck events, I always find my people who I can be myself with, and they too can be themselves.
Even though there are always differing opinions and conflicting thoughts during the conversation, the key is to respect and not try to change people’s opinions. There can be discussions around conflicting topics, but it’s about learning different things.
If we all thought the same, then conversations wouldn’t be fun at all.
So, I encourage you all to approach conversations and potlucks with an open mind, a loving heart, and a sense of receptivity. Surround yourself with people you trust who are understanding, loving, and caring.
I appreciate you reading and being here. If you enjoyed what you read, consider supporting me, but regardless, I hope you continue to prioritize your mental health and do what you love -♡-
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