My Father’s Legacy

“She did not stand alone, but what stood behind her, the most potent moral force in her life, was the love of her father.”

Today is my dad’s birthday. He left us twenty years ago, yet he still is an integral part of my life.

Just thinking and writing about him energises me with positivity and happiness. I was telling a friend of mine about how much I was missing him today as it was his birthday, and she said how come you are not penning down your thoughts about him?

So I got thinking. Am I not confident of doing justice to my dad’s memory?

Am I afraid that words may not suffice to express my love and devotion after so many years?

Will I be able to express that even after so many years, his presence in my sub-conscience influences all my actions, thoughts, relationships and responses to situations?

Being an only daughter, a not so pretty one at that, shy, diffident and average in studies, he never let me feel I was inadequate in any way. He was and will always remain the most important person in my life.

Being the sister of two brilliant brothers, he was always proud, encouraging and never compared me with my siblings. While he was strict and demanding with them, I was his darling and allowed all kinds of concessions.

My elder brother took charge when my parents were out. I was never allowed to work on the stove or cook as he was overprotective and feared for my safety.

He would protect me from my mom’s wrath whenever I annoyed her(which was often). I got pampered while my brothers had to make sacrifices.

My father’s perseverance and focus ensured we moved to London and Sir Duke Alder, the very best ophthalmologist, operated my eyes. He left no stone unturned to get me the best medical assistance that I needed as an ailing child.

My mom’s sisters’ would visit and would be concerned about my looks. They psyched not only me but also my poor mother who worried about my future.

My dad, on the other hand, never worried, his faith, trust and conviction in my ability made me desirous of achieving laurels and making him proud of me.

His ability to see good in people, be happy and content, work hard for the joy of it were the lessons I learnt from him and carry in my heart.

He made me realise that success and failure are two sides of a coin, sometimes you will succeed, and other times he taught me to be ready to accept, deal and learn from failure. He taught me to focus on the journey and not the destination.

He taught me the importance of being sincere, honest, trustworthy and letting your work speak for itself.

From him, I learnt to appreciate and help people who are not as lucky as us. He always told me not to be envious or jealous of people who I felt were more fortunate than me. Instead, I learnt to appreciate my good fortune when I looked at people less fortunate. I learnt the importance of being humble, forgiving and the ability to laugh at oneself and not take things to heart.

Today I still cherish all my memories of my dad. I shut my eyes and see him always in my mind. His presence gives me strength, courage and contentment.

His simplicity and loyalty made him lifelong friends from all walks of life. His genuine pride at the achievements of his friends, his concern and help to friends who were in trouble made me realise the importance of good friends in life. Like him, I cherish my friends, willing to walk the extra mile that sometimes friendship demands.

My only regret is that I did not imbibe his selflessness. He focussed his entire life on the needs of his children. He never demanded their attention or emotional support. He lived simply, was thrifty in his personal needs, had three-four sets of clothing, and I do not ever remember him shopping for himself or going on holidays without us.

Alas!! I indulged and bought myself numerous clothes, went on holidays and often indulged in wasteful expenditure.

Yet his core values and beliefs have moulded my life, and I see myself sharing the same with my daughter, hoping she is more like him than me.

“My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person; he believed in me.” – …