avatarSebastian Goldsmith

Summary

The article humorously suggests that the author's Chihuahua exhibits signs of white supremacist behavior, such as early rising and laying sticks in a cross formation.

Abstract

The author of the article humorously reveals their discovery that their pet Chihuahua has been displaying signs of being a white supremacist. These signs include waking up early, a behavior the author associates with productivity and a desire to dominate, and engaging in activities that mimic racist symbolism, such as running with a sheet over its head and arranging sticks in the shape of a cross. The author reflects on their delayed realization of these signs, despite the dog's daily presence and interactions with 'racist' furniture designed for white individuals. The piece culminates with the author's plan to seek advice from the "Prevent" program on deradicalizing their dog, hoping for a solution that might also allow the author, a self-proclaimed Communist, to enjoy longer sleep-ins.

Opinions

  • The author perceives the dog's early rising as a sign of white supremacist tendencies, linking it to a desire for productivity and dominance.
  • The dog's use of a sheet and arrangement of sticks are interpreted as mimicry of racist symbolism, indicating a humorous take on the dog's innocuous behavior.
  • The author acknowledges an 'inferiority complex' in the dog due to its size, which is humorously presented as a justification for its 'racist' behavior.
  • The article is not meant to be taken seriously, as indicated by the postscript referencing another satirical article by Robin Wilding.
  • The author expresses a desire for a solution that aligns with their own political views, suggesting a preference for sedatives to keep the dog asleep longer, benefiting the author's enjoyment of leisurely mornings.

My Dog Is A White Supremacist

A rabid racist in our midst

Photo by Jairo Alzate on Unsplash

I guess the signs have been there for some time, but it is funny when you see something every day, you don’t always see what is in front of your eyes. I discovered this week that my Chihuahua is a secret racist.

The early starts are clearly a sign that he is trying to be particularly productive, a typical sign of white supremacist behaviour, wanting to build a doggie empire and take over the world, seeing himself as superior to other breeds.

Then, after he has woken us all up with his incessant yapping, he goes into my study and sits at my desk, which I recently discovered is a racist item of furniture since it is designed with the dimensions of a typical white person in mind.

Then the other day he got into the laundry basket, pulled out a sheet, and was running round howling and demented with it over his head. Yesterday he got two of his sticks and laid them in a cross formation in the yard, clearly just waiting for me to set fire to them. Yes, the signs may have been there, but stupidly I just did not spot them.

Photo by Gregory Murphy on Unsplash

I guess he has an inferiority complex because of his size, but it is no excuse. Today I am going to phone up the “Prevent” programme and seek their advice about how to deradicalize him. They may recommend sedatives so that he sleeps later into the morning, which would be great, as being a hardened Commie I like a good lie-in when I can get one.

Ps. In case you missed the memo, this piece is not entirely serious, and is based on this excellent article by Robin Wilding.

Humor
Satire
Comedy
AI
Life
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