My Dog Is A White Supremacist
A rabid racist in our midst
I guess the signs have been there for some time, but it is funny when you see something every day, you don’t always see what is in front of your eyes. I discovered this week that my Chihuahua is a secret racist.
The early starts are clearly a sign that he is trying to be particularly productive, a typical sign of white supremacist behaviour, wanting to build a doggie empire and take over the world, seeing himself as superior to other breeds.
Then, after he has woken us all up with his incessant yapping, he goes into my study and sits at my desk, which I recently discovered is a racist item of furniture since it is designed with the dimensions of a typical white person in mind.
Then the other day he got into the laundry basket, pulled out a sheet, and was running round howling and demented with it over his head. Yesterday he got two of his sticks and laid them in a cross formation in the yard, clearly just waiting for me to set fire to them. Yes, the signs may have been there, but stupidly I just did not spot them.
I guess he has an inferiority complex because of his size, but it is no excuse. Today I am going to phone up the “Prevent” programme and seek their advice about how to deradicalize him. They may recommend sedatives so that he sleeps later into the morning, which would be great, as being a hardened Commie I like a good lie-in when I can get one.
Ps. In case you missed the memo, this piece is not entirely serious, and is based on this excellent article by Robin Wilding.