My Dog Chased Me With a Steak Knife
A couple stories about raising a Golden Retriever
The steak knife incident was technically my fault. I’m the one who dropped it on the floor. I wasn’t able to pick it up fast enough and Charlie the Golden Retriever got there first.
He ran towards me and then through our house with the knife sticking out of his mouth before taking off outside and into the back yard. I was running around the yard chasing him to get it back and I remember thinking, at least he’s holding it the right way.
Chasing him around the back yard was the wrong thing to do. Not because he hurt himself (or me), but because to this day,“chase” is his favorite game. I wasn’t going to get the knife back by chasing him around the yard, so I gave in and traded him the knife for a treat.
It might be hard to believe based on this story, but Charlie went to a couple of training classes. The instructor said a trade was acceptable since Charlie had to decide to give up whatever he stole for the treat.
It’s three years later and we still trade treats for the remote control, clothing, shoes, pillows…the list goes on.
The Poop Rake Incident
For the first year and a half of his life, Charlie was our only dog. He played by himself in the back yard, barked at the neighbors, and shredded his toys (and my clothes). One day, I borrowed a “poop rake” to make it easier to clean up the back yard.
That rake became his best friend. He was scared of it at first, but then he started to like it. He was always running around outside with his best friend the rake and I had to look for it every time I needed to use it.
The rake was kept outside because of its “job” and Charlie eventually chewed it in half. He then decided to come inside and run around the house with it, thinking he had something I really wanted (I did want this thing out of the house so maybe he had a point).
After I traded a treat for the poop rake and disposed of its remains, Charlie became friends with the garden hose. He spent hours playing with it.
My husband learned to keep a close eye on Charlie when he was playing with the hose because he would literally tie himself up with it. Eventually, he chewed the hose in half and we had to buy a new one. We stored it away from the back yard, out of this crazy dog’s reach.
The Countertop Incident
One house we rented had really low countertops. Charlie was old enough and tall enough to counter surf. One time he managed to score a stick of butter. Another time he got almost a whole plate of bacon before my husband caught him and he knew he was in trouble. I don’t know how he didn’t get sick from either of these incidents, but, as far as I could tell, he didn’t suffer any consequences.
One day I was home alone with him and I had just yelled at him for counter surfing. The next thing I knew, Charlie jumped up on top of his crate and stepped over to the countertop.
I couldn’t even yell at him. I just stood there with my mouth open, shaking my head. I took a picture and posted it to Facebook. My post said something like you can’t make this stuff up.
What I’ve Learned From Raising a Golden Retriever
Certain dog breeds demand constant attention and supervision. Golden Retrievers are one of them. My husband convinced me that we needed a Golden Retriever because they are “nice family dogs,” and because of their “friendly personalities.”
I used to joke that Charlie was teaching me not to become attached to material things. He shredded my favorite shirt and a favorite pair of shoes. Luckily both the shirt and the shoes came from the thrift store so I was only out a few dollars.
We’ve replaced several remote controls for the TV, filled in many holes in the back yard (because my husband and I have both stepped in them and face-planted more than once), and I’m actually out of socks right now because he still finds and shreds them.
This high-energy dog is crazy, friendly, and loving and I wouldn’t give him up for all the socks in the world.