Summary

The author's date stopped communicating after discovering her candid blog posts about love and relationships, revealing cultural pressures and the struggle to balance personal and writing life.

Abstract

The author, who uses a pen name for privacy, recounts how her date's interest waned upon reading her honest and revealing Medium blog posts. Initially, the date seemed uninterested in her writing, focusing more on her personally. However, upon discovering her work, which delves into past relationships and personal experiences with a high degree of openness, he became distant. The author reflects on the cultural expectations that women should write about innocuous topics and the fear of being perceived as improper or unsuitable for not conforming to these norms. She expresses frustration with her culture's restrictive views on what women should write about and the double standards faced by female writers and actresses. The incident has led her to consider whether she should alter her writing to avoid such outcomes in the future, despite her pride in her honesty and straightforwardness.

Opinions

The author believes that her date's reaction to her blogging, particularly the content of her posts, was due to a lack of maturity and an inflated ego, as he could not handle the candidness of her writing.
She suggests that the fear of being written about, and potentially portrayed in an unflattering light, is a reason why some people are hesitant to engage with writers who are open about their personal lives.
The author is critical of the cultural expectations that limit what women can write about, indicating that these norms are oppressive and force women to choose between their passion and societal acceptance.
She empathizes with actresses who face similar scrutiny and expectations from their partners and loved ones, emphasizing that their profession should not affect personal relationships or be held against them.
The author contemplates the idea of conforming to societal expectations by writing about less controversial topics to avoid personal and cultural backlash, despite her preference for authenticity in her writing.

My Date Ghosted Me After Reading my Blogs

This is a reason why many are scared to write about what they truly want to but don’t dare to

I knew this was going to happen — no matter how much you try your personal life from your writing life, it somehow picks this terrible timing to converge and blow up in your face.

In hindsight, it may even turn out to be a blessing in disguise that things happened the way they did. I’m talking about the ‘good it ended before it even began’ kind of perspective.

Most of you know that I write using a pen name. It is for privacy reasons and I don’t normally introduce myself as a blogger because this is my delicious little secret.

Call it vanity or perhaps s a desire to see how a potential suitor feels about dating a blogger like me who, well, blogs about love and relationships.

At first, my date was eager to meet and not particularly curious about what I wrote.

It hinted that he couldn’t care less about my blogging and more about my, uh, other talents.

Or.

He might have expected, as men from my culture are wont to do, that I am one of those who primarily write about rainbows and unicorns. You know, stuff that doesn’t offend anyone and being very careful about not stepping on toes, particularly those of family.

Otherwise, it may suggest you are not a nice girl (daughter, daughter-in-law, wife, or granddaughter) and result in repercussions.

But I digress.

I know for a fact that he looked upon my blogging with an ‘indulging grandfather mindset.’ I mean compared to his cutting-edge tech job, mine would barely register as the mildest of tremors on his Richter scale.

That was until I shared my Medium profile with him and he quickly looked me up.

I am not sure what shook him more — my anatomies of relationships past or the candor with which I share my stories.

It can be hard to digest for a man sans a certain level of maturity and especially one who is egoistical and self-centered. I mean which guy wants to hear they are less than the perfect sex god image they have erected for themselves in their mind — and I know quite a few.

I am by no means perfect but I do pride myself on being honest and straightforward but apparently still naive as they come. Here, I thought I would finally date someone who appreciated me as a blogger but yea, that is yet to happen.

They take one look at some of my stories and be like “Is she going to write about me next?” And then run for the hills.

Well, what bothers them more, I wonder? The fact that I will write about them or the fact that they will not like what I write about them. Who wants that sort of drama, right?

I am sick and tired of my own culture being my worst enemy, trying to put a muzzle on what is deemed as acceptable topics of writing for ‘nice’ girls— anything else is met with frowns, disapproval, censure, or worse. In the end, one is forced to make a choice, fall in line, or face the consequences.

Sometimes, I feel bad for actresses, especially in my culture.

People, especially their loved ones and partners have this annoying tendency to forget that what they are doing is their job onscreen.

When you really love a person, you accept their passion and their chosen profession for what it is. It doesn’t mean they don’t love you but ego can be a tricky thing and letting it take over what your heart tells you about a person is just, well, sad and a little pathetic.

Maybe I should have just stuck to writing about fu*king rainbows and unifu*kingcorns.

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