My Dad Got an iPhone — and I Got a Headache

The grandchildren promised they’d help — guess how that worked out?

As a Baby Boomer closing in on 65, I know how lucky I am to still have both my parents. They’re doing well physically and made it through the pandemic just fine.

My sister and I live close by, and at least one of us sees them almost every day. We provide more and more care for them; she handles marketing and meals, I do doctors and finances. (See Caring for an Elderly Parent at Home for a deeper dive on that topic). We’re both delighted to assist them, and neither of us considers it a burden.

Though there is one thing I could very much live without — helping my dad with his iPhone!

About a half dozen years ago, my father started saying he wanted to get one. My response was, “I don’t have time for you to have an iPhone.” No matter, his grandchildren stepped up and promised they’d be there to help him with any problems that might arise.

So he bought one.

He has three basic uses for his iPhone 6 Plus. He makes a few calls, exclusively to my sister or me. He also uses it to play Solitaire. And he takes photos… at least when he touches the shutter button instead of the Home button.

Yeah, that was $700 well spent.

And when he has trouble with it, does he call the grandchildren? Of course not. He calls me.

At some point, I showed him that powering down the phone and restarting it solves a whole host of problems. Then, a while back, he called to say he needed to do that again and could I walk him through it.

“Okay,” I began, “see the button on the upper right edge? You want to push that and hold it in for several seconds.”

“All right, I see the button…pushing it now,” he said. And then, after a moment, the line went dead.

He had called me on the phone he wanted to shut down, to ask me how to shut it down. And then shut it down while we were speaking.

I had just assumed he’d called from his landline to ask how to restart his iPhone. But no.

He called back a few minutes later to say the problem, whatever it was (or probably wasn’t), was fixed.

But it’s not just the problems he calls me for. It’s also normal operations. Here’s a typical exchange:

Dad: My phone icon has a red circle with a two in it.

Barry: Okay.

D: How do I make it go away?

B: Well, you don’t want to make it go away until you know why it’s there. So first, touch the phone icon.

D: Will that make a call?

B: No. Just touch it.

D: (Pause) Okay, I touched it.

B: What happened?

D: Oh. (Pause) The screen changed.

B: What’s it say on top?

D: (Pause) Favorites.

B: All right, that’s fine. Now, at the bottom, are there red circles?

D: (Pause) Yes.

B: What are they on?

D: Oh. (Longer pause) One on the clock and one on the upside-down pair of reading glasses. There are words underneath, but I don’t have my reading glasses.

B: Okay, the one on the clock means you had a recent call. And those reading glasses are actually a tape, like from a tape recorder. That’s your voicemail. The one means you have one message.

D: Who left it?

B: We don’t know yet. So now, touch that voicemail icon.

D: Will that make a call?

B: No. Just go ahead.

D: (Pause) Okay, I touched it.

B: And you see?

D: (Pause) A list of names.

B: Okay, and what name is on top?

D: (Pause) Your sister’s.

B: There you go. She left you a message.

D: Huh, I wonder why.

B: Well, you could listen to it and find out.

D: Yeah, okay, let’s do that. How do I do that?

B: All right, here’s what you’re gonna do. Look for a blue triangle pointing to the right. Touch that, then put the phone back to your ear, and you’ll hear the message.

D: And that’s not going to —

B: No, that will not make a call.

D: Okay, hang on. (Long pause) Oh, so sweet. She was checking in and wanted to make sure everything was all right with mom and me.

B: That’s very nice.

D: Yeah. She’s the best. You know, she’s the one who said, “Dad, if you want an iPhone, you should just get an iPhone.”

B: Oh yes, that was so, so nice of her…

M: All right. Thanks. Bye.

(Hangs up. A moment later, a call comes in from him)

B: Hi Dad.

D: I still have a one in my phone icon. How come it didn’t go away?

B: Right, my mistake. Okay, touch the phone icon.

D: Will that make a call?

M: You know, I’m not sure. Let’s find out…

Like I say, I’m fortunate. And the great thing is, he’ll absolutely laugh heartily at this… once I bring it up for him on his computer.