My co-worker has a black eye…
on International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women
I had honestly never seen such a huge bruise on a person’s face. It was even worse than in the above photo. In a few days, it changed colour and size so many times.
The causes are not for me to speculate. I didn’t know what to do, or if I should do something at all. I decided to look up some online resources.
Why 25 November?
The UN designated 25 November as International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women in honour of the Mirabal sisters. This date marks the beginning of a 16-day period of Activism against Gender Violence.
Patria, Minerva and María Teresa Mirabal were three political activists from the Dominican Republic who were brutally murdered in 1960 by order of Rafael Trujillo, the country’s dictator.
Follow-up for closure: Trujillo met a violent end himself six months later.
What to do?
I googled for some sensible answers . Most Reddit and Quora topics say it’s best to not address the person directly, as she is already embarrassed .
However, some commenters held the view that ignoring signs of potential abuse is the same as looking away.
A black eye may be caused by a genuine accident. It is unprofessional to be curious. Talk about it only when she mentions it herself.
Here are some recommendations for employers, based on a list made by the UK organization SafeLives :
- Do not be be curious
- Do not be judgmental
- Do not contact the abuser
- Do not put pressure on the victim to accept support
- Do not adopt the role of a support worker
- Do not prioritize perfomance
What you can do
- Prioritize safety. In case of immediate danger, call the national emergency number.
- Be discreet. Do not pass around information without consent.
- Allocate private time and space to listen.
- Offer practical assistance. This could include escorting the employee to her/his car, changing work hours, providing a space where she/he can make phone calls, medical or financial assistance.
- Refer to the services available in your country who are equipped and trained to provide support.
So what will I do?
Personally, nothing other than enquiring whether HR and management are offering support. Word will eventually get around to them. I don’t have any personal relations to the employee, which is why I’m leaving it to the professionals.
Further resources:
Most takeaways from this article come from this resource:
I also found this WikiHow on covering a black eye. Devoid of any judgment or presumptions, it offers practical advice. I still find the reality of it horrifying.