My Clit On The Ceiling Outranks Your Balls To The Walls

Summary

The article humorously asserts the superiority of female genitalia over male genitalia and breasts, citing personal anecdotes, historical references, and artistic representations.

Abstract

The author of the article, Jennifer J. McDougall, challenges the popular discourse around male and female sexual organs by elevating the status of female genitalia, specifically the clitoris and labia, above that of male testicles and female breasts. The piece is a playful response to other works that celebrate male and female sexual characteristics, such as Michael Burg's "Balls to the Walls" and Kristine Laco's "Boob Wordles." McDougall recounts a personal experience involving an encounter with a US marine who saluted her clitoris, which was humorously described as being "stuck to the ceiling," to illustrate the impressive nature of her anatomy. She also argues that the protective and sensory functions of the labia outshine the roles of testicles and breasts, even invoking the artistic choices of Georgia O'Keefe, who famously depicted flamboyant female sexuality through flower imagery rather than focusing on more conventional depictions of the female form. The article concludes with an invitation for readers to share their own stories about their genitalia, emphasizing that size and appearance are not as important as the experiences and narratives associated with them.

Opinions

The author believes that the clitoris and labia are more impressive than testicles and breasts due to their protective functions and sensory capabilities.
McDougall uses a personal anecdote to humorously demonstrate the admiration her genitalia has received, suggesting they are worthy of high regard.
The article mocks the idea of taking the phrase "balls to the walls" literally and instead suggests that the clitoris has a more figurative and literal claim to fame.
The author references historical figures such as Toulouse-Latrec and Al Capone to imply that even famous men would acknowledge the importance of female genitalia over testicles in preventing infections.
Georgia O'Keefe's artistic focus on flamboyant female sexuality, including the "little man in the canoe," is cited as evidence of the beauty and significance of the vulva.
The piece criticizes the overemphasis on breasts in society, comparing them unfavorably to the aesthetic appeal of labia, which are likened to flowers.
The author encourages a shift in perspective, suggesting that the stories and experiences related to genitalia are more valuable than their physical attributes.
By paraphrasing Kristine Laco, McDougall invites readers to share their own genitalia stories, promoting a sense of pride and openness about sexual anatomy.

Balls and boobs beware

This is definitely what I look like as my labial folds aim to lick the light switch. Photo by leah hetteberg on Unsplash

*Put down the cordless DeWalt. I don’t mean literally.

Wouldn’t you rather hear about that weekend in Pattaya when an off-duty US marine saluted my clit — that was stuck to the ceiling? Or the fact that even vegans drool over my beef curtains? Sure, boobies are functional. Who doesn’t like a good slurp of mama milk to boost your immune system? But do those titties protect your babymaker from “external trauma” as do my piss flaps?

You boast about your damn testicles. Well, your balls may provide half of what’s needed to procreate, but can they fart out a Mini-Me? Do they protect you from nasty infections? Toulouse-Latrec and Al Capone would emphatically shout no.

My biggest ace in the hole: Georgia O’Keefe. Her “displays of flamboyant female sexuality” weren’t flesh melons and chest knobs. She ignored the roundish witheroons peering out from Pubie Thicket. She chose puss flaps. And the “little man in the canoe”.

Why? Because they’re gorgeous, that’s why. They look like flowers. Who wants to lounge in the Louvre staring at lumpy, fuzzed-hair cacti stumps? Or milk bags that look like their contents expired sixteen years ago?

Even a cock lover like me knows no one’s willy looks as good as this…Pixabay on Pexels

My nether regions are better than balls and boobs. And so are your flesh flaps. So tell us all about them.

To plagiarize and paraphrase Goddess Kristine:

If you have a [clit] story, whip out [your labia majora mounds] and share it here. Size doesn’t matter when you’re talking about [a fish purse].