Pets

My Cat Was Walking Around With My Lovebird’s Head Sticking Out Of His Mouth

So nice — he did it twice

“Of all the things God created, from surprises and rainbows, from black holes to humor, cats are the most fascinating to me.” Jarod Kintz

Why Do I Always Have Asshole Cats?

We had a brightly colored pair of peach-faced lovebirds in a large cage. One of my cats climbed up to on a shelf to look at the lovebirds. One day, we found that cat curled on top of the cage with the lovebirds happily chitting at him. This went on for weeks. The cat would sit around on top of the cage, and the lovebirds grew used to the cat.

One day my middle-school-aged daughter came home from school and let the lovebirds out, which we sometimes did: Whoever was letting the love birds out would lock the cat out of the room. After the love birds flew around for a while, she would catch them, return them to their cage. She would then let the cat back into the room. That day she let the birds out without locking the cat out and went to get a snack.

When she came back, the cat had one lovebird with the bird’s head sticking out of his mouth — just walking around with it. The lovebird was looking around and turning its head from inside the cat’s mouth between the cat’s lips. She screamed and chased after the cat. The startled cat dropped the lovebird near the couch. When she got the bird, it was frozen in fear but appeared unharmed. She put the bird back in its cage.

When my spouse came home, he would usually talk to the love birds before changing clothes and starting dinner. When he looked in the cage, he noticed one bird was standing perfectly still and did not react to him. The bird’s behavior alarmed him. He asked our daughter what happened to the lovebird? She told him what happened. The one lovebird still looked crazy when I arrived home hours later.

The bird was unharmed, but it was in an unmoving catatonic shock. You could tell it was hell for the bird because the bird would shiver all over as it sat near the cat. It did not move.

Birdbrained Birds

A few weeks after, the cat got the bird again. This time we installed a birdbath on the door of the cage so the lovebirds could splash. Unfortunately, the cats knocked the water bath down. When I came home, I found the cat and the bird in the cat’s bed. The bird was unharmed, but it was in an unmoving catatonic shock. You could tell it was hell for the bird because the bird would shiver all over as it sat near the cat. It did not move. Walking slowly over to the cat, I picked up the lovebird and put it back in its cage.

When my spouse came home, he said he thought the birdbath was safe because even if the bath fell off, the birds did not need to leave the cage. The cage was so big and the cage entrance so small that the cat could not reach the birds in the cage. Obviously, one of the birds was not the sharpest pencil in the lovebird pencil box and flew out of the cage and landed on the floor — sort of like a birdbrain.

My daughter learned a lesson from this entire episode. Some incidents are just so stupid people do not recognize the danger and repeat the same mistakes twice. The second time they may walk willingly into danger. That lovebird was the luckiest bird alive. I laughed and told her, “A bird in the mouth is worth two in the cage.” HA!

Toni Crowe retired as the Vice President of Operations to pursue her dream of being a writer. Toni has written six books, two of which won the 2019 Reader’s Choice Gold Awards. Her bestselling business book, “Bullets and Bosses Don’t Have Friends: How Do You Manage A Man Sitting With His Dick in His Hand?” was the winner. Her first book, “Never a $7 Whore” was the other.

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