avatarTrista Signe Ainsworth

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<p id="b31c">Learning things had always been so easy for him, he hardly had to study. He had a hard time staying organized or doing the homework, but he knew things as soon as he read the book.</p><p id="4e83"><b>I started to worry about him. It seemed he was slipping further into depression as time went on.</b></p><p id="cc8b">There would be days in which he would not get out of bed. My parents asked me to talk to him and coax him into some activity. I suggested we go to the gym together, and he could teach me weight lifting.</p><p id="98de">Our workouts together seemed to help lift him out of depression for quite a while. We both became healthier and bonded over learning weight lifting techniques.</p><p id="0d56">Throughout this time, some erratic behaviors started to show up. My brother bought a car suddenly and then crashed and totaled it. He kept making choices on pure impulse.</p><p id="d0ff">I also began to get very scared about how much alcohol he was drinking. I saw bottles around his room, and that made me worried about his well-being.</p><p id="ad5b">Much later, after he was found wandering around downtown by the police and brought to the hospital, we found out he had been drinking cough syrup. I never knew about this or the dangers of it. I am so grateful he was found so that he could begin a new journey.</p><p id="c499">He had a second episode on Christmas Eve one year. He had wandered off somewhere, and the sheriff’s department went to look for him as well as family members. My husband and I stayed at my parent’s house, informing my aunt and uncle about what had happened.</p><p id="83ca"><b>After all of this, my brother was finally diagnose # Options d with bipolar disorder.</b></p><p id="d050">He began to get help from a psychiatrist, went to therapy, and joined alcoholics anonymous. He was able to stop drinking. He briefly went back to drinking only on occasion. Then he decided he could no longer handle any alcohol.</p><p id="85fe">Truth be told, I was amazed he had gone through so much and had the strength to seek help and stick with it. I am in awe of him every single day.</p><p id="d286">I am also so grateful to his wife, who held love for him in her heart, even in the worst of times.</p><p id="4674"><b>He has studied his illness in great detail and shares that knowledge with me. It is beautiful how much he wants to connect with others.</b></p><p id="f2e2">I feel so much compassion for what my brother has gone through. He has quit smoking, drinking and come to grips with his illness. He seeks to understand himself and others more every day.</p><p id="d927">About two years ago, he came to me and said; <i>I can feel empathy now</i>.</p><p id="5d69">I told him I never doubted that. I understand him as a loving being. That has never changed, no matter what he has gone through.</p><h2 id="e936">Lessons Learned:</h2><p id="48df">We can feel compassion for people with mental illness because we do not know the struggles they face.</p><p id="61c8">Sometimes issues with mental illness at the surface are more complex than we know.</p><p id="2a06">Seek to empathize and understand others with mental illness rather than change them.</p><p id="bf51"><b><i>What are your experiences with compassion for someone with a mental illness? Share your story in the comments. I appreciate you!</i></b></p></article></body>

My Brother Is Bipolar

How to learn compassion and grow together

Photo by the Author: Trista Signe Ainsworth- with my brother during Christmas, 1994.

“All I ever wanted was to reach out and touch another human being not just with my hands but with my heart.” ― Tahereh Mafi, Shatter Me

My brother and I have always been very close. We are five years apart in age, and I am his big sister. His being bipolar has never made me understand him less. In fact, I have compassion for him now more than ever.

My experience with my brother has expanded my heart and caused me to feel compassion for everyone with a mental illness. Here I share his story and my journey alongside him.

He was finally diagnosed with bipolar well after I graduated from college. We never knew that his bouts of depression and intense enthusiasm for one project or another were part of a mental illness.

It took a couple of harrowing manic episodes for doctors to finally realize what he was suffering from.

I remember talking with him when he was in the hospital, and some of the things he said did not make sense. However, in my heart, I knew he was still my brother, the one who saved me a cookie after school and loved to talk about creative projects.

It all started when he was in community college. We were both still living at home. He began to smoke, something out of character for him.

Learning things had always been so easy for him, he hardly had to study. He had a hard time staying organized or doing the homework, but he knew things as soon as he read the book.

I started to worry about him. It seemed he was slipping further into depression as time went on.

There would be days in which he would not get out of bed. My parents asked me to talk to him and coax him into some activity. I suggested we go to the gym together, and he could teach me weight lifting.

Our workouts together seemed to help lift him out of depression for quite a while. We both became healthier and bonded over learning weight lifting techniques.

Throughout this time, some erratic behaviors started to show up. My brother bought a car suddenly and then crashed and totaled it. He kept making choices on pure impulse.

I also began to get very scared about how much alcohol he was drinking. I saw bottles around his room, and that made me worried about his well-being.

Much later, after he was found wandering around downtown by the police and brought to the hospital, we found out he had been drinking cough syrup. I never knew about this or the dangers of it. I am so grateful he was found so that he could begin a new journey.

He had a second episode on Christmas Eve one year. He had wandered off somewhere, and the sheriff’s department went to look for him as well as family members. My husband and I stayed at my parent’s house, informing my aunt and uncle about what had happened.

After all of this, my brother was finally diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

He began to get help from a psychiatrist, went to therapy, and joined alcoholics anonymous. He was able to stop drinking. He briefly went back to drinking only on occasion. Then he decided he could no longer handle any alcohol.

Truth be told, I was amazed he had gone through so much and had the strength to seek help and stick with it. I am in awe of him every single day.

I am also so grateful to his wife, who held love for him in her heart, even in the worst of times.

He has studied his illness in great detail and shares that knowledge with me. It is beautiful how much he wants to connect with others.

I feel so much compassion for what my brother has gone through. He has quit smoking, drinking and come to grips with his illness. He seeks to understand himself and others more every day.

About two years ago, he came to me and said; I can feel empathy now.

I told him I never doubted that. I understand him as a loving being. That has never changed, no matter what he has gone through.

Lessons Learned:

We can feel compassion for people with mental illness because we do not know the struggles they face.

Sometimes issues with mental illness at the surface are more complex than we know.

Seek to empathize and understand others with mental illness rather than change them.

What are your experiences with compassion for someone with a mental illness? Share your story in the comments. I appreciate you!

Mental Health
Compassion
Life Lessons
Life
Relationships
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