Narcissism | Mental Health

How Do You Protect Yourself From A Narcissistic Boss?

Create some distance

Eleven years ago I moved south from New York.

A good friend introduced me to her sister's best friend.

She was the manager of the emergency department in a busy hospital.

We met her, I got hired, and along the way, we became friends.

Or so I thought!

What I did not know then, was that I was fresh supply and I was about to be played big time.

I thought people were inherently good…

I began my first day excited and apprehensive.

I was ready!

Within the first few days, the initial apprehension passed and I began to feel somewhat at ease.

A few things began to happen.

Many of the women there had interesting things to say about our ER director.

Knowing that females sometimes have a hard time getting along, I paid it no mind.

I always make up my own mind.

Aware there will always be hard feelings relating to hierarchy especially among females. I ignored the whispers.

Though we had a charge nurse, our boss would come onto the floor and just kind of check things out.

Later she began calling me into her office for something or another and that would result in long conversations. I felt uncomfortable and eventually, I would find a way to escape outback to my patients.

As time went on this behavior continued, the talks began to take on a sinister and vindictive edge.

She would point out the other females that did not like her and bit by bit she would allude to the fact that she was the boss and could do whatever she wanted.

She would plot their demise and to my dismay, carry it out publicly and with expert precision.

Back then I was pretty naïve and I had no idea what was really happening. Of course, I had been around and worked with females all my life and I was no stranger to the cruel ways they could treat each other.

I grew up around a lot of parables, and decided to employ a parable of my own.

When you get to Rome and everyone is jumping on one leg, follow suit and jump on one leg too. That is until you are privy to the real details for what is going on.

I decided to stay quietly in my corner until I understood the dynamics that were at play in the setting.

I hung out with the quiet folks during work and stayed out of the drama.

I still do the same. I am usually pleasant to everyone and I go about my life that way. I consider them workmates, though over time I make good friends at work.

As time went on and I saw a pattern of behavior, I distanced herself further and further away from her.

Her evil agenda became glaringly clear to me and though I did not know what a narcissist was, I knew one thing, it was time to put distance between myself and lucifer.

Narcissism

Recently this term has been beaten to death.

Per the Mayo Clinic, narcissism is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.” People with NPD tend to have a distorted self-image and are intensely preoccupied with themselves, which adds to that lack of empathy

Narcissistic people are overly focused on their own lives. They have an exaggerated sense of grandiosity and everything should revolve around them.

People with narcissistic personality disorder usually don’t change, so keep that in mind. Even if you learn to manage your relationship better, it probably won’t ever be a healthy relationship.

Since narcissists imagine they are perfect and everyone else is to blame for anything that goes wrong in their lives, having any kind of relationship with them is extremely exhausting.

Self-preservation is the most important component.

Make a decision to protect yourself and choose your health.

You may have to sever ties to protect your mental health.

When in doubt, choose YOUR mental health.

Thank you all for reading.

Pene Hodge is a mom, a nurse, a writer. She writes because she must. She loves people and is committed to sharing and gleaning knowledge for the betterment of all.

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