My Body Is Not Your Problem

And neither is anyone else’s

The Jenner Dilemma

Call me Kylie Jenner, but for years people have been speculating about my lips. I know — First World Problems indeed. From random followers on Instagram, to real-life human beings who know me, I’ve spent years denying to people that fillers have contributed to their fullness.

They don’t, currently, and neither have they for a good three years or so. But do you know what? I did use to get fillers. And do you know what else? I really don’t care what anyone thinks about that.

But let me tell you, I used to really, really care. I used to try so hard to hide it — not because I wanted to be dishonest or because I was embarrassed; but because I was so, so fearful of other people’s judgement.

Reflecting on it has made me realise what an odd relationship we as a society have with other people’s bodies. There are people who make thousands of dollars a month by creating YouTube videos, which are essentially running commentaries on people’s bodies and what they eat; gossip magazines that fly off the shelves when the front page suggests some A List celebrity might be harbouring a baby bump. Why, honestly, do we care?

Opinions are everywhere

Women shouldn’t have visible tattoos. Men shouldn’t wear makeup. Young people shouldn’t have cosmetic procedures done. Old people shouldn’t wear certain clothes. Girls who get fake nails are this. Guys who don’t work out are that. Plus-sized people this. Skinny people that. The list is endless.

And shall I be really honest? Yes, sometimes criticising others does make us feel better about ourselves — that’s why we do it. But perhaps if we didn’t care so much about the arbitrary goings on with other people’s bodies, we wouldn’t have so many hang-ups about our own.

Eyes forwards

Moving forwards is a sign of growth and inner fulfilment. You don’t move forwards — very successfully at least — while you’re staring around at everyone else, constantly looking from side to side. You don’t move forwards while you’re looking back over your shoulder at what you used to be.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t care about people as human beings. When we see someone close to us doing something damaging to themselves, it’s only natural to be concerned. Should we let our loved ones starve or eat or smoke or drink themselves to death and not intervene? Should we never offer support when people we love are not taking care of their health? No, of course not; but what we look like isn’t indicative of our happiness and it isn’t always indicative of our health – physical, mental or emotional.

And even if it was, to suggest that perfect health epitomises success and fulfilment is nothing short of ableism.

Not your problem

Other people’s bodies and what they choose to do with them are much less important than the choices we make about the way we treat people. Should someone choose to have all the cosmetic work in the world done; should they choose to cover themselves head to toe in tattoos; should they choose to colour their hair; that is not your problem. Should someone choose to wear stilettos; should they exclusively don double-denim; should they choose to cover their hair; still not your problem. Should someone choose to get pregnant; should they choose to lose or gain weight; it’s in no way your problem.

Every body is beautiful

And every soul has the potential to be. My body is not your problem, and neither is anyone else’s. Poverty, war, racial injustice — these are things we should be concerning ourselves with. These are the real issues at hand; not whether or not someone has had a nose job or cut their hair or is sporting a 24-inch waist.

There will always be differences in the way we look, the way we speak, the way we dress, the way we think; but we are united by our humanity. Our humanity is so, so much greater and more powerful than we realise. At the core of it is what’s within us: our ability to love and empathise and understand our responsibility to one another.

Working together towards tolerance and love and a world without shame – now, that is your problem, just as it’s mine, just as it’s everyone’s.