My Black Wedding Dress

And Ooooooh the Drama!

First of all, my husband and I wanted to elope — save the time, money, and headache. We figured it was smart and that we would focus on the important part … our relationship and our future!

The dads were all on board but of course the mothers threw a fit! Heaven forbid we take whatever cost would have gone towards the wedding and put it into a trust fund or something in order to buy our first home, pay off some debt, have a savings buffer, a reeeaally nice likely once-in-a-lifetime honeymoon, whatever we wanted or needed… noooope!

There had already been soooo much fucking drama on both sides of our families as this point (we were together nearly 7 years before tying the preverbal knot) — but definitely mine for sure!

My sister had been engaged and so much more than I can possibly begin to explain — not sure you would fully believe me anyway — but my parents gave us a check for the wedding and then required us to bring them receipts! We handed them the check back and they were soooo offended! Are you for fucking real?! Because of shit with my sister, the weird fucked-up family dynamics, their need for control and God knows what else, they were going to require receipts from us for a wedding they (the mothers) were basically forcing us to have?!

Wowza — and seriously, that’s just the very tippy top tip of the iceberg of shit that is my family!

Only one family member actually congratulated us and celebrated our engagement — this same family member is the one I feel so terribly about ‘leaving’ behind, but I truthfully don’t think I could have ever ‘saved’ him no matter how hard I tried (the Denial is strong with this one is what Obi Wan Kenobi may have said— with all of them really though, myself included for a very looooong time). We each have to acknowledge and accept in our own way and time…

Anyway, the shitstorm only just started and wouldn’t you know it, my dress was a big ticket item!

I had this dress for years and loved it. Bought it on sale after the yearly high school proms. It was a black halter top with white roses down the front and side and a short train — stunning, beautiful, and cheap!

I wore it for our one-year anniversary and loved the idea of wearing it for our wedding and then for a future anniversary — why the hell not!

Well! Let’s just say there was shit said and done by his mother and mine … oh boy the drama, mind games and manipulations, guilt trips and shaming, lies etc., really do NEVER end!

My mother talked so much shit about my sister for her wedding that didn’t happen, all the time and money and how expensive this and that and blah blah blah. I thought, oh great, I can save time and money and she already knows about and likes this dress soooo perfect! WRONG!

She made me feel horrible and guilty about it. Her typical silent treatments and mood swings, and … not fully knowing what I did ‘wrong’ and also being so ‘over-it’ because why was she ruining this for us? Making me feel like a shitty daughter because I ‘stole’ her mother-daughter moment away from her … she waaaaanted to go dress shopping with me — this from the woman who did nothing but BTICH & MOAN & COMPLAIN to me about my sister and her engagement, wedding, expensive taste, and so on and so forth. To top it off, my sister pulled massive manipulative shit as well — OhMyFreakingGoodness, AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

My, now, Husband’s mother talked all kinds of shit behind my back, insulted me and my dress constantly, and I found out that she even tried to get other family members to support her in the effort to make me change it! She complained about everything, why a Tuesday, why here and why this and that, and how stupid, and oh my Lord, just EVERYTHING and Neverending! Finally my husband told her if she didn’t want to be there and couldn’t support us, not to come.

At one point his monster of a mother had tried to coerce me, my husband to be no where nearby (and not the first time she had ever done this — perfect denialbility riiiiiight… ‘that never happened’, ‘oh she’s lying (or) making it sound worse than it was’, ‘I didn’t mean anything by it’, etc.), into sharing our wedding date with his brother ( a total mooch — much like my sister) and his girl at the time. UUUuuuuugh, I cannot even begin to seriously explain how much shit I have been through just with his family and mine let alone other villainous people in my life (our lives).

I still absolutely love this dress, and even-though David’s Bridal did NOT do a good job with tailoring it, it does in fact still fit and someday when I find someone who knows what they are doing, I will have it fixed. Our ten year married anniversary is this year, perhaps we can celebrate in style.

My Darling Husband whom I love, admire, and adore, here is to surviving our families and all the shit. I would happily marry you all over again and I am forever happy and grateful to share my life with you. Thank you for taking a chance on me and on us — I love you more with each passing year and day after day. It is by the Grace of God we found one another and I will be eternally grateful. ~Blessed~

Thank you once again for reading and God Bless you! Happy Holidays!

❤ With all the Love, Grace, and hopes for a Better, Brighter, Happier and Healthier tomorrow, as well as to Your Health & Wellness, Happiness, and Well-being. ❤

With Love, Light, Prayers and Blessings ❤ Your Idealistic HolisticNerd ~ ❤ Mind ❤ Body ❤Spirit/Soul ❤ ~

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