Summary

The author describes their preference for a low-key birthday celebration by participating in almsgiving at a nearby monastery, an annual tradition initiated by their mother, rather than a traditional birthday party.

Abstract

The author of the essay expresses a personal aversion to celebrating birthdays with fanfare, preferring instead to partake in an act of charity. This year, despite initial uncertainty due to work commitments, they managed to join their mother in providing almsgiving to an all-female monastery. The event, which involves offering food and other necessities to the monks, is particularly meaningful as it coincides with the author's birthday. The author's family and friends also contribute to the almsgiving, emphasizing the communal nature of the act in their culture. The author reflects on the joy derived from this charitable act, which they find more fulfilling than a typical birthday celebration. They also address the cultural significance of giving to charity and the belief that such acts should be done without expectation of recognition, using the essay to share cultural insights rather than to boast about their deeds.

Opinions

The author values humility and prefers not to make a big deal out of personal milestones like birthdays.
They believe in the importance of giving back to the community and find joy in the act of almsgiving.
The author appreciates the opportunity to dedicate their birthday to a meaningful cause, seeing it as a way to earn good karma.
They highlight the cultural practice of collective charity, which is more affordable and fosters a sense of shared purpose.
The author disagrees with advertising charitable acts for personal gain, aligning with the cultural wisdom that charity should be given without the left hand knowing what the right hand gives.
They hope that sharing their experience will inspire others to engage in charitable giving, even on a small scale.
The author considers the act of writing about their experience as a way to promote cultural understanding rather than self-promotion.

ESSAY | BUDDHISM

My Birthday Is Near

But I decided not to celebrate it.

Frankly, I don’t like making a big deal out of my birthday. I try to forget it as much as possible, although my coworkers are kind enough to remind me.

However, my mother initiated something similar to my birthday last year. She has taken on the responsibility of almsgiving for a nearby monastery. Almsgiving means giving charity; here, it is mainly focused on food. In addition to the foods, giving consumables is recommended.

Perhaps you may not know that a monastery differs from a temple. A temple is where monks interact with the community and guide them often. A monastery is where monks decide to have a secluded environment with minimum interaction with the community.

Unlike a typical monastery, our selected one has a particular characteristic: the monks who reside there are all female monks. We refer to them as ‘Meniyo,’ which means ‘mother’ in Sinhala. Even though they are called mothers, almost all became monks young. Making one’s mind to give away one’s desires is a remarkable achievement.

By random chance, my mother got an opportunity to provide almsgiving to this monastery, and the date was the 02nd of November every year. Since it falls close to my birthday, my mother says she is dedicating this almsgiving as a tribute to my birthday every year, even though it is not on the exact date.

My mother reminded me of this event a few weeks ago, but I had a difficult situation, as this date is the middle of the week. So, my participation in the event was not confirmed. My mother didn’t mind that; she was determined to conduct it even without my presence. Luckily, at the last moment, I could get a half-day off to attend this event.

Our culture performs this as a group, not as individuals. It helps to share the cost among all participants, making it affordable and allowing everyone to earn good karma. Per the mother’s notice, our close relatives and a few friends expressed their willingness to participate in the event. Each one of them took over a meal or dish for the event.

So, when I was finally ready to participate in the event, nothing was left to contribute to the almsgiving. Hence, I decided to buy a few fruits: a couple of bunches of bananas, a watermelon (my father had already purchased another variety), a bunch of local grape varieties, a pineapple, a few guava fruits, and a handful of Karaththa Kolomban mangoes.

We believe we should give to charity without hesitation or holding back, and the offerings should be provided with money earned well. Additionally, all the meals should be prepared with care because we should give others what we love to have. Only then does it become a significant act of giving.

On that day, we visited the monastery early in the morning and helped clean the monastery premises. Then, we offered our meals to the resident ‘Meniyo’s. They don’t consume any meals after 12.00 p.m. from the previous day. This means a meal given after a long period is well appreciated.

After the meal, we offered them some consumable items to make their lives easier. Since they don’t specify their needs, we assumed their requirements and provided accordingly.

I had to accept that participating in this event gave me more happiness than the birthday celebration, which only lasted a few hours. But for this, almsgiving gave us a lasting impression.

In our culture, giving charity is considered one of the best deeds. It is not required to do it on a large scale. One can start it on a small scale, with a few friends and relatives collaborating.

Usually, we consider that advertising about our charity giving is not a good thing. My wife pointed out that I am doing the same by writing about it. She even mentioned one of our famous sayings, “What we give from our right hand need not be known to the left hand.”

However, I explained that this post is meant to provide a cross-sectional view of our cultural aspects and not to boast about our action of giving to charity.

Further, I explained to her that it would be awesome if at least one person is interested in giving away for charity due to this post. Then, only my wife accepted my idea.

If a single person considered giving away something for charity after reading this, my intentions were fulfilled. It doesn’t need to be a big thing. A small thing is enough. If you look for it, you can easily find several ways to participate. A birthday, an anniversary, or a new year is a good day to start this.

So, best of luck with your beautiful thoughts and your considerations in this regard.