My Big Red Lips

The “sex” in my sex appeal.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve rocked a red lip. All shades of red. From scarlet to crimson to orange-reds, blue-reds, the whole spectrum. Matte, preferably. I’m just not a gloss type of gal. Shiny lips look sexy as hell on other women, just not me.

Years ago, I tried out the “mood” lipsticks and loved the shit out of them. They stained my lips in variant shades of red that lasted the whole day — and night. I loved the fact that they didn’t feel heavy. And, that they didn’t transfer to your teeth, or your wine glass, or your bad boy of the moment.

Eventually, I gave up the mood thing and switched to “real” lipstick. It was time. I was a real woman.

Red lips are my personal signature. They’re my jam. Oh, I’ve tried the nudey, glossy, J-Lo thing but the end result is always the same: Cadaver.

I feel fierce as hell in my red lips. Like I can take on the world. And, I’ve discovered that men either love ’em or hate ’em. Luckily, my husband falls into the former category. Of course, he’s ridiculously prejudiced. Someone who tells me that when I’m sleeping, I look like a “little angel.” How can you not love a man like that?

Yet, whatever their preference, lipstick or none at all, I’ve noticed that, when I’m in full sex-bomb mode, men, especially, can’t take their eyes off my fire-engine mouth.

You know why that is, right? Sure, you do. Labia, lips. Lips, labia. There’s a definite pussy/mouth connection. Check out the following from cltampa.com (Creative Loafing.) Apparently, as if we don’t have enough to obsess over, “size” is a factor for us chicas, as well.

Big lips/big mouth: The woman with large lips or a protruding mouth likely has an outie vagina. Her pussy lips will be surrounded by the soft pink inner labia hanging out.

Small lips/small mouth: These women will have a small, innie vagina. The type of vagina you imagine is part of a porn star.

Also worth noting: Red and pink hues are reminiscent of the gorgeous flush that spreads across your chest after a full-on, leg-shaking orgasm. Perfection.

Red lipsticks are a huge component of my beauty stash. One whole drawer and another box are filled to overflowing. All brands, from drugstore to elite. As I said, I prefer a matte texture. For some reason, glossy lipsticks look ridiculous on me. Like I’m trying too hard. My ingenue days are long behind me. And that’s f*kng okay with me.

As a screenwriter, I have to say that there is also something very “noir” about a red lip. Cinema’s most lethal Femme Fatales — the ones that inspired men to do really stupid things — wore their red lips like a badge of honor. “Come and get me, baby, if you’ve got the balls.”

Barbara Stanwyck. Rita Hayworth. Gloria Grahame. These were women to be reckoned with. This is how I’d like people to see me. As a serious badass.

#LipstickIsSelfCare

When I was going through four weeks of radiation treatments for breast cancer, I was never without my red lipstick and a pair of shades.

I felt invincible. And thankfully, I guess I was.