My Beautiful Stalker: A Love Story

Love is the most unexpected thing you will ever come across with. Sometimes, what your heart desires is the biggest mystery.

I saw her for the first time when I walked in, into a class full of my new trainees. Sitting in the second row’s corner sit, hidden from all the speculating eyes, almost dozing off on her system’s keyboard, sitting on her desk. My entry made her alert, she looked at the front of the class. Her soulful brown orbs settled on my face, making her, to widen her eyes and for any sign of earlier sleepiness, to leave her face.

Her attention made me feel butterflies in my stomach. With a shaky breath, I started my lessons. At the beginning of the class, she was very attentive and concentrated. Any sign of earlier sleepiness was long lost. But as the lessons progressed, her sleepiness returned but this time she surrendered, giving in to her sleep completely, she slept through my entire lecture. She didn’t even wake up when the lecture ended and as I left the class.

I went to my office after my session, replaying again and again, what happened during the class, feeling heavy in my heart, almost confident that I will never see her again in this swarm of people. Days went by, I didn’t see her again, just as I expected. Then that day came when again, I was assigned to train her batch. But this is almost like a deja vu of the last time, only a few minutes of her attention, that’s all I got. Disappointed, than I ever had been, I went to my safe heaven -the ice cream parlor.

Days went by, weeks went by, with no sign of her, as in she never existed, as in she was just a figment of my imagination.

Then I saw her again 2 weeks after that training lecture, sitting, laughing with a sizeable group of her friends. Looking at her from afar, wishing, and fantasizing, how would it feel to listen and talk to her.

Her sudden movement brought me out of my musing. Shifting, her eyes landed on me, with her mouth hanging open, she looked at me with those wide brown eyes, completely surprised and almost mesmerized. I pushed myself to wave my hands at her, wishing wistfully for her to recognize. More confused than ever, her brows settled in a frown. Shifting her eyes, she tuned in on the conversation taking place on her table again. But something had changed because now the center of everyone’s attention, present at that table, was her and she was blushing like a sky at sunset.

Her next appearance was almost after an eternity, 4 weeks and 3 days to be exact. Not that I was counting. The wait was so long, that I feared, to never see her again, thinking maybe she had moved to some other location?? Almost dreading to accept the fact that, maybe last time was the final goodbye, in a world so big, the possibility of us crossing the path again is almost none.

Then I saw her again, and it was, literally, the crossing of our path in the office corridor. Wearing a light blue round neck t-shirt and faded light blue pair of jeans, hair braided in such a way, which can almost beat the algebra in its wake. Some strands of her hair, framing her face, kissing and caressing her cheeks, again and again. Her eyes are again wide, mesmerized, looking at me in a peculiar way, which I didn’t quite decipher. Her hanging mouth split into a wide, beautiful smile, made her look an angel from another world, then her eyes shifted from my eyes and moved to my new short hairs, was it just my imagination or did she actually, look disappointed at the loss of my shoulder-length hairs, I don’t know. I never get the chance to confirm.

She moved past me in the corridor and took the left turn, disappeared for God knows how many weeks or days. But that wait of weeks and days never came because I saw her again after just 15 minutes, walking past my office with her friend, looking at me with a blank face. And then I saw her again, the same day after the office hours when I was leaving for home with one of my friends, near my cabin, in front of an elevator lift. She looked at me, and then eyes shifted to the girl standing beside me. An unknown emotion, almost sad but not quite, crossed her beautiful features. Then it shifted back to its stoic mask, and she went to the opposite side and disappear again. My fear crept back in my vein, wishing for this to not be a goodbye again.

But for the next few days, I saw her at least once in a day. It was like; she was adjusting her schedule so we can cross our paths again and again. Every time I saw her, her eyes were already on me, studying and observing me with a slight smile settled on her lips and a thoughtful look on her face. Sometimes she looked confused and sometimes in pain. Sometimes, when she didn’t notice me, her friends alerted her of my presence, and then she repeated the same action.

It was almost a satisfaction and kind of funny, knowing I was not the only one in this hide and seek game, that satisfaction didn’t last long because my best friend, the girl she saw me with at front of the elevator lift, drew my attention to the fact that, it was not a series of coincidences, for us to cross the paths again and again, but she was, really adjusting her lunch and tea-breaks, her group had a different lunch schedule. That day I realized in my ecstasy of seeing her again and again, I never noticed she was stalking in a way.

As days passed by, I continued seeing her on a daily basis, but she never approached, I never complain about either of the facts because maybe it was just a misunderstanding to think she was stalking me. This game became a ritual for both of us.

One day, after I received the offer letter for my dream job, I was happy and sad at the same time. With the heavy heart, I started packing my existence in this city and this company but that didn’t change the routine. We continued our little game. Neither approaching nor looking away.

The day, which was officially my last day in this office, something unexpected happened. I was sitting in my former cabin with my best friend, discussing my incoming farewell when there was a knock on the door when I looked up, here she was, my beautiful angel, standing on my door. I was in a stupor the entire time looking at her, then she suddenly parted her lips, asked if I had some time to listen to her.

Finally, I came back to my senses, offered her privacy for her talk by excusing us from my cabin room, and inviting her to sit on the chairs on the sitting area at the side of the corridor. She looked nervous, but soon took an encouraging breath and introduce herself and started reminding me of the class, where she got to know me first, as in I can ever forget that first meeting in my life.

I reassured her that I remembered, and then she bluntly accepted, that she admires me. I was at the Moon from my happiness and in awe with her boldness. We started talking, exchanging personal and career-related questions. During that conversation, she admitted that she was kind of unconsciously stalking me and get embarrassed about it, which I found very endearing. Then she suddenly told me the reason, why did she finally approach me. That reason broke my heart but made me admire her more for her honesty, she was moving to a new city because she got her new working location, which was almost on the opposite corner to the city, in which I was shifting.

I also admitted her about my new job, carefully gauging her face for any emotion, but her strength and stoicism left me speechless. But her eyes betrayed her, the sadness and happiness in them were almost palpable. She was sad because we might never meet again, but she was happy with my success. I admired her more and liked her more in those moments.

When the time came to say goodbye, she again surprised me with her bluntness, asking me out on a coffee date. Till that time, it was already too late; I was so deep in love with her, to let her heart to break. It was almost impossible for us to meet ever again. With a heavy heart, I softly declined her offer. Putting on again that brave, stoic face, she skillfully masked her hurt and pain. She left me there in the same corridor where it all had started, with a wish of luck for my future and a final goodbye.

Neither did I admit my love in our conversation nor did I ever replied for any of her texts. Wishing she will forgive and forget me as we age. Little did I know, it was me who can never forgive myself and can never forget her again. She left that day with a piece of my heart. Wishing and counting on my lucky stars to meet her in this life again and for a chance to correct those mistakes.