My Battle With Autism and Epilepsy

A poem describing the life experiences of my sister suffering from Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and Epilepsy.

I am a unique individual. I am anti-social. People always ask me why I behave this way. In all honestly, I have no idea. Every minute I look up the ceiling to stare at the brightness and shadows. Every five seconds, I blabber words that no one can understand. I can’t do things myself.

My brain is a roller coaster. For one moment, my brain cells are silent as a rock; the next moment, my brain cells turn into an earthquake. When my brain cells move too fast, I get seizures. I think of seizures like a thunderstorm simulating inside my head. Seizures are my worst nightmares. After a seizure, I can’t remember anything. I am overwhelmed with pain, and I can barely breathe, let alone sleep. My hand and feet shake due to the after-effects of a seizure. I’m not too fond of it.

I have a vague sense of taste. I can’t eat anything other than rice and soup. I love car rides. The sensation of being in motion is a feeling I play over and over in my head. Another thing I love is playing with toys. The colors, sounds, and designs from the toys make me happy. My parents and brother talk to me regularly. I love them for that. But they assume I am listening to what they are saying. Unfortunately, I can’t focus on what anyone says to me. I barely make eye contact with anyone for more than three seconds.

Sounds that people can’t hear, I can listen to very well. Sounds like music from brother’s laptop, fans in the background, cooking, and even a car driving past my home. However, when I hear loud noises, I get scared, and I scream. Every day my life is a battle. This is a glimpse of my life. Thank you for reading.

Note to the reader: My sister has been suffering from Autism, Epilepsy, and Dyskinesia for many years. At times, I feel I know more about my sister than she knows herself. To the many families living with an autistic child, I admire you for taking care of them. Thank you so much for playing a significant role in their lives!