THE BAD SCARE

My Babysitter Admitted She Cut Off My Finger

It ruined my parent’s night out

I’d follow my mom around the house while she flattened her hair, got dressed, and put on her makeup on the nights she and my dad would go out. Those nights were few and far between. Considering my mom’s poor choices in babysitters, it’s no surprise they rarely went out.

Nail polish art

One night I raced to the door to eagerly show my parents all the rocks I had painted with my mom’s nail polish. She was disappointed that I’d used her nail polish but thought that an art project was a creative thing to do.

However, she wasn’t happy to discover that I’d painted all of them on my pale yellow and white gingham bedspread, which now had outlines of rocks in nail polish all over it. They later realized my babysitter had entertained her boyfriend in the other bedroom while I painted rocks on my bedspread.

Bizarre bedtime snack

One night, a bad scare call came from another babysitter. Usually, when the sitters called, my mom expected them to ask if it was okay for me to eat a can of spinach or beans before bed.

My mom was always at the ready to inform them that, yes, I usually ate a can of spinach or beans as a bedtime snack. This behavior was abnormal, and the babysitters all assumed my demand was a trick, and I would cause them to get in trouble.

Blood flow cut off from my finger

However, one night my babysitter called my parents at their friend’s house hysterical. Through tears, she said, “Joy wrapped her hair around her finger, her finger turned blue, it was just hanging there, so I had to cut off her finger. I’m so sorry!”

I had a habit of sucking my thumb and twisting my hair around the finger on my opposite hand. My finger routinely got knotted into my hair and began turning blue as it hung from a few strands. My mom usually had to cut off a few strands. That was a bad scare for my parents.

In this instance, my babysitter was terrified of cutting my beautiful locks and had no idea that this was a regular occurrence. She quickly corrected herself over the phone and said, “I mean, I had to cut off her hair. I’m so sorry.”

Thankfully, the bad scare was temporary. Considering all the exciting calls they received and interesting things they returned home to, it’s amazing they ever left me home with a babysitter.

Leaving me with my cousin as a babysitter wasn’t much better:

Thank you, Sally Prag for your creative monthly prompts in your Badform Badassery Monthly Newsletter:

Key Takeaway: Don’t call my mom for a list of recommended babysitters.