Parenting, Disability
My Autistic Son Wore The Same Clothes For Two Years
When we moved across the country, my kid decided one outfit was all he needed
My son, Sky, has Autism Spectrum Disorder. When we moved from California to Georgia, dressing up as his favorite video game character helped relieve Sky’s anxiety. Two years passed before Sky would wear anything else.
Preparing for Change
Sky found it incredibly tricky to process significant changes. Structure and familiarity assisted Sky in navigating a neurotypical world.
To help Sky prepare for two thousand miles of change, I told him he could select a treat for his new home. Sky asked if I would buy him unique clothes for Georgia.
Sky wanted the costume his favorite video game character, Link, wore in Zelda: Ocarina of Time.
We’ve played Zelda: Ocarina of Time together since he was four. The costume was an excellent idea and the perfect gift for my brave adventurer!
I found soft brown pants, an oversized hunter-green tee shirt, and a belt online. I also crafted Sky a hat.
I mailed the Link costume to our new address, and it would arrive soon after we did.
New Home, New Rules
Being in an unfamiliar place presented many challenges for Sky. He was used to being an only child.
We’d moved in with my sister and her two kids, so suddenly, Sky was one of three.
Sky was pleased to be with his aunt and cousins. Nonetheless, he missed his California friends and was confused by the new household's rules.
Sky began to isolate himself. Instead of his typically outgoing personality, he was quiet and standoffish.
I ordered ten large hunter green tees online. I also bought several pairs of brown pants.
About a week and a half after Sky and I moved to Georgia, Sky’s Link ensemble arrived. As soon as Sky wore the costume, he returned to his happy, bubbly self.
Mom’s Big Idea
The next day, Sky wore his Link outfit again. I didn’t mind it since it made him happy.
On the third day, Sky attempted to wear the costume again, but it needed washing. He begrudgingly put on other clothing and promptly shut back down.
I had an idea. I went online and ordered ten oversized hunter-green tee shirts. I also bought several pairs of brown pants.
Boots were more challenging, but I finally found some small women’s boots that would be practical for daily wear.
Sky was delighted with his new wardrobe.
My Name is Link Sky
At first, I wondered if I’d made the right decision. Sky seemed obsessed with being Link in an almost unhealthy way when he was feeling high anxiety.
He began to insist that I couldn’t call him Sky.
“I’m not Sky, Mum. I’m Link Sky!”
It concerned me a little, but I decided to go with it. After all, Link Sky’s personality was precisely like Sky’s, but with less anxiety.
I reached out to my little guy with both arms.
“Okay, Buddy. I hope Link Sky gives hugs!”
“Link Sky gives a MILLION hugs, Mum!”
A New Superhero in Town
At first, Sky required every element of the Link Sky costume. After some months, he only wore the hat on occasion. Months later, Sky became okay with tennis shoes. Eventually, He was OK with jeans or shorts.
Every item that Link Sky stopped wearing went into a backpack. Sky kept the backpack with him in case he needed to change back into Link Sky’s clothes.
For several months, we couldn’t go anywhere without that backpack.
The hunter-green shirt was the last piece of the Link Sky outfit to go into the backpack.
Sky packed the tee away and told me he needed to “go incognito” daily. Link Sky had evolved into an alter-ego — a superhero.
“I will keep Link Sky clothes in my bag just in case any bad guys show up, and I need to kick their butt!”
For several months, we couldn’t go anywhere without that backpack. I even had a backup bag in the car with a second Link Sky costume if we forgot the original.
Farewell Link Sky
One day, Sky brought the backpack to me and asked me to find a safe place.
“I still want to keep this in case I feel like dressing up as Link, but I don’t need it anymore.”
I watched my son walk outside in a red tee shirt and blue shorts. As I packed away his costume, I couldn’t help but get a little teary-eyed. I was going to miss Link Sky.
I heard the bubbling laughter of children and peeked outside. My rosy-cheeked and happy son tumbled around on our trampoline with his cousins.
I wiped my eyes and smiled.
“Welcome back, Sky.”
A Note from the Author
Every story I share about Sky is done with his permission. I hope these stories will raise awareness about the everyday life of a kid on the Autism Spectrum and the people he loves. Sky is 100% on board for that.
I double-check with Sky about specific stories, but I’m generally met with a deadpan response and a blank stare.
“I already said you can write about me. You don’t have to keep asking. I trust your judgment.”
I still ask him, anyway.
He’s twenty now, so his eyes will roll.
P.S. Sky still loves Zelda.
Glossary
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Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD); a neurological and developmental disorder that begins early in childhood and lasts throughout a person’s life. It affects how a person acts, interacts with others, communicates, and learns. It includes what used to be known as Asperger syndrome and pervasive developmental disorders — MedlinePlus
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Neurotypical (NT) means having a style of neurocognitive functioning that falls within the dominant societal standards of “normal.”
Neurotypical can be used as either an adjective (“He’s neurotypical”) or a noun (“He’s a neurotypical”).- Neurocosmopolitanism
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Neurodivergent (ND): having a brain that functions in ways that diverge significantly from the dominant societal standards of “normal.” -Neurocosmopolitanism
Resources
- Autism Parenting Magazine: Autism Child Obsessed with Wearing Same Clothes
- National Autistic Society: Behaviour and clothing
- Child Mind Institute: Why Kids with Autism Get Fixated
- Very Well Health: Why Does My Child with Autism Insist on Wearing the Same Clothes
- Spectrum: The Root of My Son’s Autism and His Obsession with Costumes