My Agonizing Journey to Embracing “Fluff”

“You’re up in the clouds.” (Punch)

“You’re too idealistic.” (Slap)

“Stop dreaming.” (Kick)

I’ve heard these things for years. And every single time, it felt like a blow to the gut. I took those hits, feeling I deserved them, too.

You see, people said the way I thought and spoke was too “fluffy”. Many people, especially boss types, have told me to “come back down to earth.”

And they criticized me, saying there’s no place for it. I interpreted many of those interactions as justified verbal assaults. It was painful and caused agonizing self-doubt inside my mind. I felt lacking as a human being.

When I say “fluff”, I’m referring to language and thinking that lives high in the clouds. I’ve been inspired by it since I was a kid, whether it’s Churchill’s unwavering belief that Britain will “never give in…never, never-in nothing” or Elon Musk pointing us to Mars.

It stirs my soul, bringing to life emotion that I believe supercharges action in any environment. Without it, how do we puny humans get anything meaningful off the ground?

But “fluffy” approaches, they say, lack tangibility and details. Fluff haters — you know who they are — call it out whenever they see it.

And I’m here to say enough. Instead, we need fluff more than ever. When it’s the right type and thoughtfully used, fluffy thinking can change the world.

Why living in the clouds matters

Here’s what I know for a fact: there are LOADS of people living in the weeds today, taking care of all the details. Data scientists that love to code. Engineers that tune the technology just right. Editors that will pick a part this very sentence I’ve destroyed. Many people revel in the details, and I’m ever-grateful to them. We need you.

However, that’s not me. Despite my best efforts otherwise, I’ve finally embraced my truth: I rarely enjoy the details.

Instead, I belong in the clouds. This is where I have fun and create value. And I know there are many people just like me, just waiting to be heard and feel accepted.

Author David Epstein describes people like me in Range. He highlights generalists that love dancing across disciplines and mashing concepts together to spark something fresh. Takeaway: only when we live at fluffy, conceptual levels can we imagine (and eventually create) new and great things in this world.

While its taken years of mental work to gain comfort in my own skin, I see the light now.

Before, I thought I was never good enough. Never “technical” enough. I felt I was an imposter in my field. Whenever I’d lead a whiteboard visioning session, ask “what great feels like”, or verbalize ambitions for leap-frogging the competition, many people would give me blank stares (or even send hate mail later).

But no longer. I’ve transformed on the inside.

Now, I double down on fluff. Conceiving and articulating it is my unique ability. Knowing that I can use it to help other people energizes me each morning. And I deeply believe the world needs more of it.

But not all fluff is useful, so let’s establish the divide:

1. Useful fluff: strategic, emotionally-gripping, progress-inspiring content (it lights up the human brain and provides direction)
2. Non-useful fluff: distracting, “fatty”, and indecisive content that pulls people off course and hurts the collective march forward (e.g., inauthentic and buzzword-laden sales material that’s chock full of false promises)

In all aspects of life (professional and personal), we need way more of #1, and I’ll tell you why.

Fluff initiates action

“Our eyes only see and our ears only hear what our brain is looking for.”

— Dan Sullivan (Founder & President, Strategic Coach)

The “impossible” only becomes possible when we’re deeply inspired. Human ingenuity kicks in at full force when we’re stimulated by a compelling and far-reaching vision. Language like this is useful fluff.

JFK catalyzed the 1960s Moonshot with this pie-in-the-sky language: “We choose to go to the Moon! We choose to go to the Moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard; because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills…”

Or think of Steve Jobs. When discussing his early vision of the iPhone to people inside Apple, what language did he use? To his colleagues, it must have been both awe-inspiring and dumbfounding to receive a message so far out there.

We all know what happened next with those two stories; they prove how “dreamy” language can be extremely powerful. Well-conceived and clearly-articulated fluff has three characteristics: it is inspirational, imaginative, and credible.

When well-crafted, fluff is what catalyzes people and then leads to tactical planning, action, and real outcomes.

Think of it another way: in almost any hard endeavor, we need a mix of top-down and bottom-up thinking:

• Top-down: a zoomed out, big picture view of the way forward that accounts for all of the dots in the system
• Bottom-up: a detail-oriented reality check of what needs to happen with individual dots

When the two meet, lightning strikes.

Neuroscience validates how valuable and important top-down (fluffy) language and thinking can be. It serves to inspire, a necessary precondition for humans to achieve something great. The brain believes the story it’s told — the power of the dreamy language ignites the mood and channels the energy required to take massive action and deliver on the outcome.

Conclusion

Change your mindset around what you might’ve previously called “fluff”. Look at it with a more careful eye. The content and the person you previously wrote off might be extremely valuable. In a world where the machines are taking over the mundane, we need humans that dream the fantastic.

And when you see people that are wired this way, encourage and help them, don’t berate them. It’s a unique ability, and we need to make room for people like this. Help them harness their way of thinking and pair them with detail-oriented people. When working together, they’ll make magic.

Having personally gone through the mental hardships of self-doubt when I was younger, I now wholeheartedly embrace my fluffiness. It’s how I’m wired, and I’m proud of it.

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