My 9-Year-Old Just Told Me to Stop Using the “F” Word

Minding her mom’s tongue

I’m guilty of using the “F” word a lot these days. I always utter it under my breath, or so I thought.

At breakfast, I was a bit agitated, that the toddler was throwing a tantrum; wasn’t eating my strenuously prepared breakfast. I uttered the “F” word very quietly imagining my next one hour would be lost trying to coax my toddler to eat.

The 9-year-old sitting next to me caught it and was quickly turned to me and asked coolly “What did you say?”. I had a ready answer and told her… I said “aww Sh*t”, because I am going to be stuck here with your brother for an hour”. “ What does it mean?” she asked again. I said — “It’s just an expression of frustration.”

She said mom you’ve to stop using that word. I tried to look at her as if I’m an innocent puppy. She said in the same cool tone, “I know what you said. I’ve heard you say that often but I was a bit scared and hesitant to tell you. I’ve heard my classmates say that and it’s a very bad word”

I’m like — “Whaat?”

She continues as if she’s a grown-up, instructing me — “That’s a really bad word my friends say. You shouldn’t say it. What does that mean?

Me in shocked embarrassment thinking hard, fiddling my fingers as my toddler innocently looks at both of us. I change the topic. “Who says that in school?” “Many”, she said, and as if that wasn’t enough she added, “One of her classmates even had a game in the tab, in which, there is a swear word, with just one letter showing and rest are stars and they have to guess the cuss-word”.

“What other words do you know?” I poked at her inquisitively. She ponders looking at the roof and said — “Hmmm, I know one more word. It’s b****. Do you know that word? What’s a b****?” I swallowed hard as my tongue refused to speak. “Female dog is called a bitch.” I told her as a matter of fact.

She furrowed her eyebrows, in confusion and quipped. “But why is that a bad word? I love dogs and girl dogs are so cute. How is that a bad word?” I was tongue-tied. I just muttered, “I don’t know dear, and escaped the scene.”

With homeschooling going on and being a work-from-home mom, anytime I am stuck in a rut with too much work, those words escape out of my mouth at times, as a habit. I realized I have to be more watchful about my language as a mum. Even otherwise, they’ll hear those words sooner or later but I need to do my bit to keep the home atmosphere cleaner. Damn my tongue!

My only solution is I consciously try to cut the usage of cuss-words, lest even my toddler starts to catch it. I can’t imagine my kids bad-mouthing in front of extended family and friends and their horror-stricken faces. 😱 Kids in general and tweens (9–12), especially are invariably getting overexposed to everything good and bad.

What do you do if your kids caught you swearing under your breath or aloud? Has it happened to you? God! I am so embarrassed.

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