What’s Your Spotify Sex Soundtrack?
And why you need music when you make love
After college, I lived with two other guys in a place that was called The House of Porn (why it was called that is a story for another day). It was in a great location but cheap, and part of that was due to the very thin walls.
Being three guys with very high sex drives, there was a fair amount of action in the HOP. It could become very noisy at times, and so we implemented a rule. If there were other housemates home when you were getting down and dirty in your bedroom, you had to play music to drown out the (hopefully) pleasurable noises that would emanate.
We all had our go-to list.
This was the early 2000s, and I was a Jamiroquai man. Marc was an 80s music guy. And then there was Michael. Michael was a law intern, and his partner was a law intern. Their favorite TV show was the legal drama, The Practice. Something about that show got their legal juices flowing, and so it seems their sex would always coincide with The Practice opening theme.
Whether it is used to pacify your roommates or to add passion to your sex, music is an important component of sex.
Let’s open up our Spotify Sex Lists and take a deep dive into the synergies between music and sex.
Song 1: Sexual Healing
Music can help lead to sex.
When you think aphrodisiac, you might think of alcohol or chocolate, maybe even oysters. Well, I’ve got some good news for you — you can save your money and go with some tunes instead.
A survey found that 30 percent of people found music the biggest aphrodisiac. Drinking spirits (15%), drinking wine (13 %), and eating chocolate (4 %) were well behind. Maybe next time you have a date, instead of giving them wine and chocolates, perhaps try a mixtape?
Another study showed that 67 percent of couples who listen to music together report having more sex than couples who don’t listen to music together. I do think back to my old Walkman days when I would offer a headphone to a classmate to listen to some music with me — sadly, in that case, I fell into the 33% of cases where sex wasn't increased. Quite the opposite.
Aside from surveys, there is scientific evidence that supports the sexual powers of music. When listening to music together, your neurons start operating at the same rate, which releases oxytocin — otherwise known as the love hormone. A study published in the journal Scientific Reports showed that opioids were released both listening to music, which also happens when you experience sexual pleasure.
And if you are single and looking for some action — then music might be your best friend. The Journal of Media Psychology reported that certain pop music could influence your interest in a potential sexual partner. People who listened to sexually suggestive music before judging possible partners were far more likely to want to have sex.
Those crappy pop songs that are full of sexually suggestive lyrics may not be as bad as you think.
Song 2: You Shook Me All Night Long
So music gets you into bed; how does it help you between the sheets?
For that, much like Family Feud, we turn to survey results. A survey by Deezer, the on-demand music streaming service, found that fifty-five percent of people say listening to music improves the sex experience. 20% said the music made them more aroused, while 16% found the music made them less awkward. (Teenage Ash wishes he knew that!)
One surprising benefit of music was that almost 25% of men said they lasted longer when music was played. Not sure whether it distracts, focuses, or relaxes them, but it obviously helps. Forget Viagara and try Vega. Suzanne Vega is a slightly obscure music reference, but it was the artist with the name most similar to Viagara.
Anyone who exercises regularly will usually listen to music. It was found that people who listen to music when working out suffer less fatigue and can last longer than those who exercise in silence. The same principle applies to music during sex.
Music can also free up any sexual inhibition. There is a spontaneous and freeing feeling associated with listening to music. It can also help reduce stress. This feeling can assist in letting go of sexual inhibitions and let your adventurous sex side out.
Sex toys are even incorporating music into their technology. For example, We-Vibe is a couples vibrator with a function to connect to Bluetooth and pulse or beat in time to your music. You can literally feel the music inside you.
Song 3: Play That Funky Music
Music choice is important. Jess O’Reilly, Ph.D., certified sexologist, says, “The contagion hypothesis suggests that we mimic what we hear in our environment, so create a playlist that helps to cultivate the emotions you need to feel in order to get in the mood.”
In others words, choose the music that best suits your mood, relationship, and energy levels. O’Reilly’s advice: “Do you want to feel powerful? Listen to heavy bass. Looking to feel amorous? Pick tunes from your early days of dating. Do you need help decompressing at the end of a stressful day? Choose a mellow melody. Is happiness your core erotic feeling? Play an anthem that lifts you. Identify the emotion that underpins your core erotic script and find the music to match!”
Lingerie brand Pour Moi analyzed over 300,000 songs on Spotify playlists with terms such as ‘date night,’ ‘sex playlist,’ and ‘Netflix and chill.’
They then compiled the top 10 songs globally that people like to bang to. Canadian singer The Weeknd may be responsible for more babies than anyone on earth as he features four times on the list.
Top Global Sex Songs
- The Weeknd — Earned It (Fifty Shades Of Grey)
- Jeremih — Birthday Sex
- The Weeknd — Often
- Jeremih — All The Time
- Ginuwine — Pony
- SoMo — Ride
- Rihanna — Sex With Me
- Trey Songz — Slow Motion
- Ty Dolla $ign — Or Nah (feat. The Weeknd, Wiz Khalifa and DJ Mustard) — Remix
- The Weeknd — The Hills
Spotify also created their ultimate sex playlist, which comprised of 69 — yes, 69 — songs.
Guitar Solo: Are You Lonesome Tonight?
If your playlist doesn't inspire anyone else, then you can always march to the beat of your own drum, so to speak.
Spotify doesn't forget about those who like to masturbate to music. There was also a search on terms such as ‘touching myself,’ ‘solo sex,’ and ‘masturbation playlist.’ As an Aussie, I’m proud that an Australian band inspires more self-love than any other — I guess there was no doubt that I Touch Myself would be the most popular song to masturbate to.
Top Masturbation Songs
- I Touch Myself — Divinyls
- Sex With Me — Rihanna
- Love Myself — Hailee Steinfeld
- Call Out My Name — The Weeknd
- Often — The Weeknd
- SLOW DANCING IN THE DARK — Joji
- Get You (feat. Kali Uchis) — Daniel Caesar
- Earned It — The Weeknd
- Take on Me — a-ha
- Everybody Wants To Rule The World — Tears For Fears
The Weeknd, of course, features a few times. I guess an orgasm without his dulcet tones doesn’t count. I also love that the Tears for Fears song — Everybody Wants to Rule The World is popular enough to make it into the top 10. I guess it’s motivational.
Song 4: The Sounds of Silence
There are some people who are in the Anti-Music Sex Camp (which does sound like a very interesting and oddly specific summer camp.)
Those who suffer from premature ejaculation may not like the ability to measure time through music. “You didn’t even make it to the chorus!” is not something anyone wants to hear. There is also the chance that Spotify ruins the experience by throwing in a commercial or cuts to an NPR podcast.
Perhaps you are into mindful sex and would prefer to hear your partner's deep breathing, the squeak of the bed, or your roommates telling you to be quiet.
In writing this article, I did come across many people that were very against music during sex. And that’s fair enough — we all have our sexual preferences.
Encore: Your Body is a Wonderland
What do musicians listen to during sex? Would hearing their own voice improve the atmosphere or ruin the ambiance?
John Mayer admits his music has helped him “hook up a few times,” but when asked if he has listened to his own music while doing the deed, he said, “No, but a girl has asked me to sing some of my songs in probably the run-up to it.”
For some reason, John Mayer strikes me as a guy who would definitely get off on the sound of his own voice. Perhaps it's on his masturbation playlist.
So Sexography readers, what are your go-to songs for sex? Do you have a Sex Playlist? Let us know what you’d recommend — aside from The Weeknd.
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