avatarChristopher Robin

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T, or some sweetener it starts to taste pretty spiffy. Whip it to hell and back with the battery-powered whisk and you’re off to the races without the jitters.</p><p id="0b9b">Overall I think it’s a good effort and gets the job done. The initial kit comes at you for about $40 for a 30-serving supply at the most expensive on my list. I don’t know about you, but one cup a day is not a lot, so the price would go up if you want more.</p><p id="770e">☕☕☕☕ out of ☕☕☕☕☕</p><p id="3bd2">After the initial plunge into the coffee substitute world and no abdominal or gut discomfort, I decided to venture out and find a substitute for my substitute. I wanted to know if there was something comparable but cheaper.</p><p id="532a">A quick Amazon search had me looking at mushroom coffees aplenty, and now Amazon thinks it’s all I want. No, I don’t need a mushroom-powered emergency generator. Though, that would be pretty cool.</p><h2 id="7c1c">Cacao Clarity by Sunwink</h2><p id="4d32">Cacao Clarity by Sunwink struck my fancy because cacao is supposed to be good for you and tasty. It’s hot and wet but has fewer bells and whistles than the others I’ve tried. It still has the lion's mane, maca powder, and reishi mushroom extract as the others, and it does have a more chocolatey flavor than the others, so that’s cool.</p><p id="a8c4">Without creamer or sweetener, it’s a bit milder than the others and comes in a smaller canister. So it’s more like hot brown water with a good cocoa scent. It may be necessary to double the dose on this one to give it a little more kick.</p><p id="b7e7">It’s also about half the price of MUD/WTR, so there’s that.</p><p id="b761">☕☕☕ out of ☕☕☕☕☕</p><h2 id="bf89">RYZE Mushroom Coffee/Matcha</h2><p id="b8e8">RYZE lists the ingredients list is Cordyceps, Lion’s Mane, Reishi, Shiitake, Turkey Tail, King Trumpet), Organic Arabica Coffee, Organic MCT Oil, and Organic Coconut Milk. Yum!</p><p id="d378">I drank this for 6 months. It blends a lot better than the MUD/WTR, and the flavor is better than the MUD/WTR. It has a smooth creamy texture to it, but it does settle eventually. It helps to keep stirring once in a while.</p><p id="38a8">They should provide a discount on a <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Self-stirring-coffee-mug-Automatic/dp/B078GYFTK3?th=1">self-stirring mug</a>. They don’t, but it’d be a lot cooler if they did.</p><p id="3d9a">☕☕☕☕ out of ☕☕☕☕☕</p><p id="63b0">Bonus opinion: The mushroom matcha is an excellent addition to their lineup, and in my humble opinion, is better than

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the mushroom coffee. They use full ceremonial Matcha, and the taste of the matcha really comes through.</p><p id="cb5d">If you aren’t familiar, matcha is a variety of green tea made by harvesting young green tea leaves and milling them into a superfine, vibrant green powder. They’re grown in the shade in specific temperatures, humidity, and soil conditions to allow the chlorophyll levels to rise higher than regular tea. It is then harvested and milled into the fine green powder we know.</p><p id="9979">I’m convinced they will give me the power of photosynthesis, but it hasn’t happened yet. Still, it tastes great and makes me feel healthy. My wife says it tastes like grass, and I don’t argue with her.</p><p id="ad2a">Who doesn’t like the taste of grass clippings at 5 am?</p><figure id="bfda"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*0jayg60gVAvykfe-k1S6Jg.jpeg"><figcaption>photo by author</figcaption></figure><h2 id="0414">Everyday Dose Mushroom Coffee/Mushroom Matcha</h2><p id="d53b">This one is the best on this list. The coffee tastes more like regular coffee compared to the other brands on my list, and it dissolves almost completely. It has many of the same functional mushroom types, and it adds collagen protein, and nootropics to promote focus, energy, immunity, and gut health. Without creamer, it looks like a dark roast from a coffee shop. It also came with the most powerful whisk in the bunch, easily flinging freeze-dried reishi 6 feet from my cup. My wife was thrilled to have to clean it off of her glasses.</p><p id="9b08">The matcha is also excellent, though the color is less bright-green than the RYZE matcha. That doesn’t concern me because the flavor and health benefits are what I’m after.</p><p id="1476">This coffee/matcha combo is my favorite so far.</p><p id="fad0">☕☕☕☕☕ out of ☕☕☕☕☕</p><p id="25f5">Have any of these helped my energy, focus, or mood? Have the mushrooms or matcha made me Superman yet? Probably. I started drinking these when I stopped drinking alcohol, so it’s hard to know what to attribute to what habit change.</p><p id="fba8">I generally feel good like at least I’m trying to do something good for my body rather than pump it full of more dark roast vanilla creampuff latte Lucky Charms sugar bomb diabeetus macchiato espressocinos.</p><p id="0618">What I do know is that I’m no longer mainlining 300 mg of caffeine every morning, and I was still coherent enough to write this thing. That’s something, right? Don’t answer that.</p></article></body>

Coffee Substitutes and Opinions

Mushroom Coffee is All the Rage. I Test Drove Some For You

4 Coffee Substitutes and Some Jokes

artwork courtesy of Jacqueline Dooley

Let’s face it: there is no substitute for coffee. But for those of us looking to tap the brakes on the runaway caffeine train or try something new, there are some interesting options out there. Most of them are mushroom-based, so I’m either going to see God or be dead soon.

I’ve been drinking mushroom coffee for several months and I’m not dead, just weird. I have wondered if it’s possible to OD on too much fungus water, but my guts haven’t exploded yet.

So, if you wanna be weird like me, start drinking mushroom coffee and join my mushroom coffee cult. All are welcome. We have t-shirts and everything (Designs by grief and mushroom expert Jacqueline Dooley).

All of these coffee substitutes promise lots of health benefits including increased focus, energy, brain-boosting, sleep-assisting, clarity, etc. I’ll tell you about my findings on that stuff after I lay down these other gems about the beverages themselves.

MUD/WTR

The first one I tried was MUD/WTR. The marketing for this was pretty slick. I was convinced I would have superpowers by the time the first cup hit my stomach. The name also didn’t promise anything flashy, especially sans vowels, which I can appreciate.

The initial supply came with a great little rechargeable whisk that can whip the hell out of your coffee and froth your creamer. My wife used it with heavy cream the other day and flung it halfway across the kitchen. In other words, the whisk works well as long as you leave it in your beverage receptacle.

The drink itself has what they say is 1/7th the caffeine of a cup of coffee and has a strong chai taste to it. In addition to lion’s mane, maca powder, and reishi mushrooms, it incorporates cinnamon, turmeric, Himalayan salt, cardamom, Masala chai, and cacao.

With no sweetener or creamer in it, it has, as advertised, a muddy water look. An earthy taste with the chai and cinnamon coming through a bit. Not bad, if I do say so. If you add some creamer, maybe some MCT, or some sweetener it starts to taste pretty spiffy. Whip it to hell and back with the battery-powered whisk and you’re off to the races without the jitters.

Overall I think it’s a good effort and gets the job done. The initial kit comes at you for about $40 for a 30-serving supply at the most expensive on my list. I don’t know about you, but one cup a day is not a lot, so the price would go up if you want more.

☕☕☕☕ out of ☕☕☕☕☕

After the initial plunge into the coffee substitute world and no abdominal or gut discomfort, I decided to venture out and find a substitute for my substitute. I wanted to know if there was something comparable but cheaper.

A quick Amazon search had me looking at mushroom coffees aplenty, and now Amazon thinks it’s all I want. No, I don’t need a mushroom-powered emergency generator. Though, that would be pretty cool.

Cacao Clarity by Sunwink

Cacao Clarity by Sunwink struck my fancy because cacao is supposed to be good for you and tasty. It’s hot and wet but has fewer bells and whistles than the others I’ve tried. It still has the lion's mane, maca powder, and reishi mushroom extract as the others, and it does have a more chocolatey flavor than the others, so that’s cool.

Without creamer or sweetener, it’s a bit milder than the others and comes in a smaller canister. So it’s more like hot brown water with a good cocoa scent. It may be necessary to double the dose on this one to give it a little more kick.

It’s also about half the price of MUD/WTR, so there’s that.

☕☕☕ out of ☕☕☕☕☕

RYZE Mushroom Coffee/Matcha

RYZE lists the ingredients list is Cordyceps, Lion’s Mane, Reishi, Shiitake, Turkey Tail, King Trumpet), Organic Arabica Coffee, Organic MCT Oil, and Organic Coconut Milk. Yum!

I drank this for 6 months. It blends a lot better than the MUD/WTR, and the flavor is better than the MUD/WTR. It has a smooth creamy texture to it, but it does settle eventually. It helps to keep stirring once in a while.

They should provide a discount on a self-stirring mug. They don’t, but it’d be a lot cooler if they did.

☕☕☕☕ out of ☕☕☕☕☕

Bonus opinion: The mushroom matcha is an excellent addition to their lineup, and in my humble opinion, is better than the mushroom coffee. They use full ceremonial Matcha, and the taste of the matcha really comes through.

If you aren’t familiar, matcha is a variety of green tea made by harvesting young green tea leaves and milling them into a superfine, vibrant green powder. They’re grown in the shade in specific temperatures, humidity, and soil conditions to allow the chlorophyll levels to rise higher than regular tea. It is then harvested and milled into the fine green powder we know.

I’m convinced they will give me the power of photosynthesis, but it hasn’t happened yet. Still, it tastes great and makes me feel healthy. My wife says it tastes like grass, and I don’t argue with her.

Who doesn’t like the taste of grass clippings at 5 am?

photo by author

Everyday Dose Mushroom Coffee/Mushroom Matcha

This one is the best on this list. The coffee tastes more like regular coffee compared to the other brands on my list, and it dissolves almost completely. It has many of the same functional mushroom types, and it adds collagen protein, and nootropics to promote focus, energy, immunity, and gut health. Without creamer, it looks like a dark roast from a coffee shop. It also came with the most powerful whisk in the bunch, easily flinging freeze-dried reishi 6 feet from my cup. My wife was thrilled to have to clean it off of her glasses.

The matcha is also excellent, though the color is less bright-green than the RYZE matcha. That doesn’t concern me because the flavor and health benefits are what I’m after.

This coffee/matcha combo is my favorite so far.

☕☕☕☕☕ out of ☕☕☕☕☕

Have any of these helped my energy, focus, or mood? Have the mushrooms or matcha made me Superman yet? Probably. I started drinking these when I stopped drinking alcohol, so it’s hard to know what to attribute to what habit change.

I generally feel good like at least I’m trying to do something good for my body rather than pump it full of more dark roast vanilla creampuff latte Lucky Charms sugar bomb diabeetus macchiato espressocinos.

What I do know is that I’m no longer mainlining 300 mg of caffeine every morning, and I was still coherent enough to write this thing. That’s something, right? Don’t answer that.

Humor
Opinion
Coffee
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