Murder or Suicide: Vismaya’s Dowry Death Will Shock You

Apparently the guy didn’t like his free car!

Dowry(noun): an amount of property or money brought by a bride to her husband on their marriage.

According to India’s Dowry prohibition act enacted in 1961, gifting or receiving dowry is punishable. And yet, the custom of dowry flourishes unchecked, living under the name of ‘gifts’ to the groom.

It’s a bit like how the Supreme Court of India banned ‘Bandhs’ (a name for strike), and it resurfaced in the name of Hartal (another fancy name for a strike).

Dowry has always been a bane for the Indian bride. Vismaya, a BAMS (Bachelor of Ayurvedic Medicine and Surgery) student, found this out the hard way. The girl allegedly committed suicide on June 21st after her husband tortured her for several weeks.

However, Vismaya’s parents and a good share of the general public continue to believe it is murder.

From a western perspective, this incident might not make any sense. So, let me connect the dots for you.

First, some backstory.

The backstory

The incident happened in Kerala, the southernmost state of India.

A 24-year old girl, Vismaya V Nair, married Kiran Kumar, an officer in the Motor Vehicle Department, in May 2020. Vismaya’s parents had worked hard to ensure that the girl takes a healthy dowry to her husband’s house.

This included 100 sovereigns of gold, 1.2 acres of land, and a Toyota Yaris car.

Now, by Kerala’s standard’s this is a hefty sum for a dowry. In fact, for any standard, considering it’s free money for the husband, this is a freaking good amount.

And yet, the husband was dissatisfied. He believe he was entitled for more!

The proof of his irritation was the last few Whatsapp messages Vismaya had sent to her mother. The texts revealed that Kiran was torturing her, beating her, and blaming the car. It also included pictures of her bruised arms and face.

And on June 21, 2021, Vismaya was found hanging in her room.

The Kiran story

Revelations from several people suggest that Kiran was a studious and meticulous person. Yet, he was also skeptical of his wife’s moves, did not like her mingling with other guys, and held mammoth greed for wealth. Add to it alcoholism and some strange addictive substances he allegedly enjoyed keeping under his tongue.

Vismaya was bubbly, chirpy, outgoing, and talkative. A number of Tik Tok videos she did speaks volumes of her extrovert nature. Kiran was perhaps seeking a machine that danced to his tunes. His wife was anything but that.

Vismaya pulled through, putting her tolerant face to her husband for as long as she could.

But what is shocking is that Kiran’s torture had begun well before the marriage. He had slapped Vismaya before they even tied the knot.

One would wonder why the proposal progressed to marriage if she had prior experiences of his nasty face. To understand this, you should be familiar with the cultural backdrop of the state.

The ‘what will people say’ syndrome

An average Keralite has his eyes cast over his neighbor’s house, snooping, sneaking, and passing judgments about someone else’s affair. People are bred under circumstances where they are taught to cultivate habits that grant public approval.

Else it is “What will people say.”

Vismaya and her myopic parents must have encountered a series of “What will people say” moments.

“What will people say if the marriage is canceled after the engagement”, “what will people say if she returns to her parent’s home after marriage” and so on.

And I dare say, it is this caving in for frailties as such that cost Vismaya her life.

The doubts raised by Vismaya’s parents

Vismaya’s parents vouch that their daughter had returned home when she found the going tough in her husband’s house. But Kiran had somehow managed to convince her to return and took her home.

However, the girl was in for more abuse and torture, as revealed by her last texts to mom.

Vismaya had requested her mother to send her 1000 Rs( just about 13 USD) to attempt an exam. What a plight for a woman to beg for a small amount like that after fattening her husband’s purse.

Vismaya’s mother is certain that her daughter won’t commit suicide. She even points out Vismaya’s recently applied nail polish. “If she were going to die, why bother to apply a fresh coat of nail polish,” she asks.

Along with her, a vast section of the public believes that Kiran could have murdered her. He was suspended from the Motor Vehicle Department soon and is currently facing multiple charges.

The probe is still going on. We have to wait and watch what happens.

The takeaway from Vismaya’s incident

Hailing from Kerala, I cannot expect the custom of dowry to vanish. But assuming it as a case of suicide, I believe it wouldn’t have happened if Vismaya was financially independent.

The girl was still pursuing her academics when her parents figured that it was the right time to marry her off, long before she could stand on her legs.

This is precisely the reason why the girl lost all her hopes. The fact that she had to request money from her parents for even writing an exam underlines her plight.

Indian parents push their girls for early marriage because it’s the most significant responsibility of their lives. They want to be done and dusted with it.

Also, marrying and raising children is perceived as an ultimate goal. So, “earlier the marriage, healthier the babies,” they say.

If all of this seems bizarre to you, let me tell you an even stranger story of a couple. Here, the girl hid in a room with her boyfriend for a decade- and that too a room without a toilet. Read all about it here.

https://readmedium.com/a-girl-hid-in-her-boyfriends-room-for-freaking-ten-years-5d32aa9ff79e

To get a general idea of India’s marriage system, read this article:

https://readmedium.com/5-bitter-truths-about-indian-marriages-the-west-wont-believe-494ab41ec52a