‘Mask Mumbling’ Could’ve Saved Juwan Howard
Keeping those flying f-bombs contained in your useful COVID mask
There’s a joke trending on Social Media regarding Michigan head coach Juwan Howard after he threw a punch at Wisconsin assistant coach Joe Krabbenhoft in Sunday’s 77–62 loss to the №15 Badgers.
The punchline goes something like “Howard should’ve punched Chris Webber for calling that timeout in the national championship.”
Webber is notorious for calling a timeout in the NCAA title game with the clock winding down and his team down by two. The problem was his team had no timeouts left, resulting in technical foul shots and costing Michigan a shot at the championship
Sunday, Howard was upset Badger coach Greg Gard called a timeout with 15 seconds left and Wisconsin up by 15. Howard’s team was still pressing. Gard explained he wanted the 10-second halfcourt clock to be reset, which was down to four, and “didn’t want to put his second-team players in that situation.”
Howard, less than enthusiastically, entered the handshake line. Gard physically blocked Howard from getting past him, tried to defend his tactics, which led to a heated discussion, and Howard placing his pointer finger right in Gard’s face.
A melee ensued and after more heated words, Howard tried to strike the Badger assistant coach.
Howard has been suspended by the Big Ten for the last five regular-season games, while Gard has been fined $10,000.
“Big Ten Conference coaches and student-athletes are expected to display the highest level of sportsmanship conduct,” Big Ten commissioner Kevin Warren said.
I completely agree and feel the punishment is perfect. It definitely wasn’t too harsh and sends a message that should resonate throughout college, high school, and even middle-school athletics that this is not acceptable behavior. Far from it.
Sportsmanship must be first and foremost.
Dealing with a hot-headed opposing coach
I recently coached against a rather red-faced gem, who argued every single call the officials made. Yelled from tip-off until the final buzzer.
He even made the choice to smack talk with one of our older athletes before the game, but when the player fired a comical zinger back his way, he had the audacity to shout, “Quit talking to me, punk. Shut up and go sit down over at your own damn bench!”
Wow is right. Anyone was a victim to this sorry sap.
He’d holler obnoxious things like “Yeah, we never get calls since were the smaller team from out of town.”
Every call questioned
Too many fouls on his team, missed fouls on ours, traveling calls, out-of-bounds. You name it, he’d yell and argue for it. Hell, he even argued that the score table officials had both the team fouls and the score wrong. Classy coach, he was not.
It got mega, ultra, uber annoying, to say the least.
I was the assistant coach and had a front-row center seat to this lunatic. My only defense was to crack my aspirin bottle.
More than a few times, I resisted the urge to yell some sarcastic comeback like “Stop your whining, Bobby Knight!” or “The Tasmanian Devil called, he wants his temper back.”
It was nonstop.
Oh, sure I could’ve said something. However, it just would’ve made a jackass out of myself to stoop to ‘ole hot head’s level. Also, what message would that send our team of 12- and 13-year-olds?
Nope, I had an alternative, unique solution.
Mumbling was the magical answer
You betcha. And those damn, hard-to-breath, air-sucking COVID masks have never come in finer. I used language I didn’t even know I had in me.
I invented new cuss words by combining cuss words. I called the cat every name in and out of the book, Canadian cuss words, French foul words, male and female body parts, and excretions. And he heard none of it. (Just hoping my observant third-string point guard didn’t either).
“Sit, your smelly arse down, you sharting clown king,” was the winning mumble just outdueling “Shut the fork up and sit and spin, dragon breath, drama queen.”
He whined when his team was down by four in the first quarter, and even in the fourth quarter when they led by 10.
What about the dreaded after-game handshake?
As for the ceremonial and always-present, sportsmanship-supporting team handshake?
Quickest fist pump west of the Mississippi. Didn’t even bat an eye.
He was either embarrassed by his behavior, had bionic ears, or sensed my negative body language. When our fists meet, he immediately— in 0.2 seconds — turned and retreated faster than Flash Gordon.
Making the right choice
We all have choices when faced with others that annoy and anger us. Which choice are we going to make: Act childish like Juwan Howard and come out punching?
Or, being the bigger man when someone is being a jerk. Take the high ride. Keep your mouth shut, shake their hand and move one. Teach your kids the right way to handle poor sport, sourpusses, and poopy pants. Give your young athletes a good example.
The world is full of way too many bad examples, and Juwan Howard was added to that collection Sunday. Let’s be good examples for our kids and the world around us.
Thank you for reading.
Tag my great sportsmanship fans: Scot Butwell, Scott Younkin, MarkfromBoston, Gerald Sturgill, Jameson Steward, Sreese, Andrew Rocha, David Perlmutter, Ning Choi, Delaware Sports Blitz, Frank Priegue, Michael Dolan, Christian Emeka, Julian Cosky.
You might also enjoy:
