Multiple Springbreakers Flock to Florida to Audition For COVID’s Dating Game Show

Free AI web copilot to create summaries, insights and extended knowledge, download it at here

1790

Abstract

Corona can be described as an equal opportunity lover who fits in any social group with ease. Corona is a very outgoing person, preferring crowds and packed arenas. However, Corona is known to be needy and clingy as they hate giving other people space.That red flag doesn’t seem to turn off contestants, who are intrigued by Corona’s intense bedroom skills. Ex-girlfriends and ex-boyfriends claim they are left fatigued, are finished with sore muscles, and have trouble catching their breath after a night of passionate romance. One woman claimed that she still has breathing problems to this day. Word of mouth resulted in Corona accumulating more than 500,000 bedpost notches in a year. This feat impressed Ghengis Khan so much that the conqueror recently revived himself from the graveyard just to beat this record.E! Entertainment picked up this show to appease the pandemic stay-at-home crowd. Producer Ryan Seacrest hopes to capitalize on Corona’s popularity and have a new successor to the Kardashian empire.<blockquote id="cd80">“With the last season of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, we need a fresh face to take over as America’s top socialite. Hashtags of Corona in 2019 are 1000x more frequent than hashtags of Kim Kardashian’s sex tape in 2007. There’s no better time than now to once again capture the day-to-day life of a disease to society.”</blockquote>However, the sudden fortune of Corona has left other viruses jealous due to the recent decline in popularity. A group of STDs is angry that Corona is swooping in and stealing their targeted spring break market.Chlamydia claimed that Coronavirus stole their dating show title, and subsequently hired Rudy Giuliani to stop the steal.

Options

Gonorrhea is fed up with being in this piss-awful situation and launched a #StopAsianHate campaign, claiming that Coronavirus is doing <a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-56218684">more damage to the color yellow</a>.Herpes already secured an impressive customer base in Las Vegas, but later announced plans to expand in Florida after reading about Miami’s Spring Break Curfew.Ths dating show has drawn critics, who believe that this is just a publicity stunt. “I’m getting major vibes of Kim’s Fairytale Wedding,” said Kardashian critic John Hamm.When asked about this, Corona reiterated their desire to settle down with one person. Unless that person is Corona’s arch nemesis Anthony Fauci.<h2 id="6952">Disclaimer: All characters and events in this article, even those based on real people and events, are entirely fictional. It is written to poke fun at the subjects mentioned. It is satire. For now.</h2>— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —Thanks for reading! If you want to read more of my work, see my <a href="https://elliesalvaje.medium.com/read-this-post-before-continuing-to-peruse-my-blog-fb2cbf71e2d8">profile’s Table of Contents page</a>.If you’re a new user on Medium and feel that I’m funny enough to bing all my content in one day, you’ll need a membership fee to get unlimited access. If you want to subscribe for a membership, <a href="https://elliesalvaje.medium.com/membership">then please use this link</a>. If you use this link instead of signing up like normal people, then I get paid.Seriously. Please sign up through my link. I desperately need money to pay off my debts to the Yakuza.</article></body>

Spring Breakers Flock to Florida to Audition For COVID’s Dating Game Show

Picture of Catching Kelce from Amazon. Picture of Corona brand from IMG Licensing. Picture of Coronavirus from SN56

Adults are baffled that so many college students flocked to Miami for spring break. As it turns out, these students were just trying to make some cash during these hard times.

America’s most eligible bachelor since March 2020 goes by the mysterious name, Corona. After capturing the hearts of thousands in such a short time, Corona has decided to settle down with one soulmate. Corona has advertised a new Bachelor-type dating game show, where millions of contestants will compete with each other for a $1,000,000 prize and the chance to settle down with Corona for good.

Very little is known about Corona, but scientists were able to compile its biodata. Corona is a 19-year old pansexual, who loves men and women equally. Corona doesn’t have a particular type, as the Cassanova prefers to experiment with all different shapes and sizes. Corona can be described as an equal opportunity lover who fits in any social group with ease. Corona is a very outgoing person, preferring crowds and packed arenas. However, Corona is known to be needy and clingy as they hate giving other people space.

That red flag doesn’t seem to turn off contestants, who are intrigued by Corona’s intense bedroom skills. Ex-girlfriends and ex-boyfriends claim they are left fatigued, are finished with sore muscles, and have trouble catching their breath after a night of passionate romance. One woman claimed that she still has breathing problems to this day. Word of mouth resulted in Corona accumulating more than 500,000 bedpost notches in a year. This feat impressed Ghengis Khan so much that the conqueror recently revived himself from the graveyard just to beat this record.

E! Entertainment picked up this show to appease the pandemic stay-at-home crowd. Producer Ryan Seacrest hopes to capitalize on Corona’s popularity and have a new successor to the Kardashian empire.

“With the last season of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, we need a fresh face to take over as America’s top socialite. Hashtags of Corona in 2019 are 1000x more frequent than hashtags of Kim Kardashian’s sex tape in 2007. There’s no better time than now to once again capture the day-to-day life of a disease to society.”

However, the sudden fortune of Corona has left other viruses jealous due to the recent decline in popularity. A group of STDs is angry that Corona is swooping in and stealing their targeted spring break market.

Chlamydia claimed that Coronavirus stole their dating show title, and subsequently hired Rudy Giuliani to stop the steal.

Gonorrhea is fed up with being in this piss-awful situation and launched a #StopAsianHate campaign, claiming that Coronavirus is doing more damage to the color yellow.

Herpes already secured an impressive customer base in Las Vegas, but later announced plans to expand in Florida after reading about Miami’s Spring Break Curfew.

Ths dating show has drawn critics, who believe that this is just a publicity stunt. “I’m getting major vibes of Kim’s Fairytale Wedding,” said Kardashian critic John Hamm.

When asked about this, Corona reiterated their desire to settle down with one person. Unless that person is Corona’s arch nemesis Anthony Fauci.

Disclaimer: All characters and events in this article, even those based on real people and events, are entirely fictional. It is written to poke fun at the subjects mentioned. It is satire. For now.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Thanks for reading! If you want to read more of my work, see my profile’s Table of Contents page.

If you’re a new user on Medium and feel that I’m funny enough to bing all my content in one day, you’ll need a membership fee to get unlimited access. If you want to subscribe for a membership, then please use this link. If you use this link instead of signing up like normal people, then I get paid.

Seriously. Please sign up through my link. I desperately need money to pay off my debts to the Yakuza.