MuddyUm The Strayan Way
Is it Medium or MuddyUm, I’m confused.
MuddyUm or medium 33, I still suck my thumb who cares give me a chuckle, dear chum
G’day mates, how ya going this arvo? We’re living during these iffy COVID-19 times; so cricky eh! Furphies coming in every day it’s killing thousands. If you’re crook, don’t crack the shits and self-isolate. Stay safe, me ‘ol cobbers’.
You couldn’t understand what I wrote above, yeah? My bad, read through the strayan slangs. I reckon if I want you to continue reading this, I should write using standard English or American, as some of you ‘Mericans, out there, put it.
My Medium life was incomplete until I joined MuddyUm. Now, read that sentence out loud, with the Kiwi accent.
My MuddyUm life was incomplete until I joined MuddyUm.
You don’t know what a Kiwi accent is, I see. Are you googling it already?
No? You slacker. Alright, I’ll explain.
Kiwi or the New Zealander accent is the sexiest in the world. Says some useless research, done by someone who had plenty of free time at their hands. Watch this video, if you don’t trust me.
By the way, I so effing hate the Grammarly and Hemmingway tools (reminding me while I write to avoid Passive Voice). If you are reading my rubbish article and agreeing with those tools, you language-cop, move on.
Instead of Language-cop in the above sentence, I wanted to write **nt but then realised; I’m trying to make America laugh, not Australia. If you know what I’m saying. I was also scared of the Elf; she might remove me from MuddyUm, commenting on my colourful language.
I don’t know how I lost my terrain of thought and started writing about bloody Kiwis and their accent while I should be sticking to the strayan way.
I can’t remember things these days; perks of getting old, you might say. But I blame Working From Home, for that.
Enough with my nonsense, I guess.
Thanks, Susan Brearley for offering me this chance to write for MuddyUm. I look forward to making new friends and learning their ways, in this excellent publication. I’m always here if you want to learn a thing or two about Straya and Strayan way!
Until next time.