Moving to another country won’t solve your problems
Consider these three things before you move abroad
I’m an American who’s lived in New Zealand, Nicaragua, Panama, Peru, Spain, Belgium, France, and Norway.
By now, I’ve done it so many times that moving to a new country has become as easy as ‘wash, rinse, repeat’.
Here are the top things I’ve learned about settling in a new place:
Introversion is not an excuse
Well. Actually, it is. But, even introverts need friends. And if you don’t put yourself out there, you’re never going to feel like you’re a part of a community.
I say this as an introvert who dreads meeting new people. It sucks. I get it. If I could bury myself in a room with just me and my books and magically still have a few friends, I would. Unfortunately, I haven’t figured out how to make that work… yet.
In the meantime, though, I’ve just had to suck it up, smile, and pretend like I wasn’t sweating through my shirt.
Expat clubs, international groups, and language exchanges are great places to start. I’ve also tried a few unconventional approaches like improv classes and local sports teams.
Whatever you do, do something that allows you to get out of the house and meet people. Choose the least scary option and make yourself go. You will be nervous. It will be awkward. But it will also give you exposure to more than just the sights of your new home. You might even make a friend in the process.
If you don’t learn the language, everything will be 10x harder
Depending on where you live, language might be the difference between complete isolation and daily small annoyances. But it will still make a difference.
In Norway, almost everyone under the age of 40 speaks English. Norwegian is not necessary for your day-to-day. But in Nicaragua, you won’t be able to do anything without some grasp of Spanish. But even in Norway, most activities and events are in Norwegian. This means that without at least some Norwegian under your belt, you won’t get to enjoy a lot of what the country has to offer.
I also have a running theory that even when someone speaks English, they are always more helpful when you approach them in their language first.
Put in the effort and you will be rewarded. And don’t fool yourself about how much effort it will take, either.
Blessed are the flexible because they will not be bent out of shape
It’s easy to romanticize a place. But the reality is never the same as your expectations.
Perhaps you’re dreaming of a starry evening walking along the Seine in Paris. Drinking espresso at cute corner cafes and eating fresh baguettes for lunch. Those things are possible, but you will also have to contend with the noise and dirt of a major city. Add in a tiny, expensive apartment and navigating endless circles of French bureaucracy, and you might be wondering if the baguettes and cute cafes are worth it.
Or maybe you dream of a more vibrant lifestyle. In Lima, you think about Cumbia, warm weather, pisco sours, and proximity to Machu Picchu. But you don’t anticipate how much you will stick out like a sore thumb, making you a target for everything from being overcharged to being a victim of theft.
Travel and living abroad is exciting because of all the differences. But not all the differences will be ones you appreciate.
Some American ex-pats move abroad with the idea that all their problems will disappear in their new country. It isn’t true. I’ve met plenty of jaded and bitter ex-pats who are biding their time until they can move back to the U.S. because of an unexpected bump in their home-away-from-home.
Be prepared to be flexible and approach the differences with an open mind. Otherwise, you run the risk of being overwhelmed and disappointed.
When people ask me which country has been my favorite to live in, I have a hard time answering. I’ve loved every place I’ve lived in for different reasons. But, in order to truly enjoy each country you’re in, you have to invest in your language skills, put yourself out there and be open to the good and the bad each place has to offer.
Thanks for reading.
