Moving at ‘The Speed of Safety”

What inner voice wakes you up at night?

As I wrote about in my last post, I recently enrolled in a six-month professional program. Within their marketing material, they ask this question:

If you could transform anything in your life in the next six months — personal relationships, coaching practice, business development, physical or mental wellness — what would you choose to transform?

I read these questions before going to bed and thought, how will I ever decide? I’d like to transform elements in each of those areas.

Then, in the middle of the night, I awoke consumed with anxiety. A very familiar feeling.

My throat was thick. My chest felt heavy. My gut was in knots.

I lay in bed and breathed deeply, feeling into it, as I have learned to do when I’m in this state.

Then a series of questions crossed my mind:

— Is the answer to last night’s question within this feeling?

— How would my life change if I no longer lived with this recurring, middle-of-the-night fear?

— Wouldn’t that change transform all areas of my life?

Honestly, it does take a great deal of time and energy to manage my anxiety. Not only does it impact the quality of my sleep, it also is the undercurrent of many of my day-to-day decisions.

My sense is that much of my worry comes from my fearful inner child, who has a feral, scrappy quality to her. I’ve learned to move cautiously in many areas of my life, especially within my business.

— I check and double check any writing I put out into the world.

— I avoid most forms of public speaking.

— I rarely speak up in a group conversation unless I know everyone well.

In fact, I’ve coined the phrase, “Move at the speed of safety” to refer to how I manage my business, my marketing, my writing — my life — so as to not rile “her” up. When she is triggered, “she” makes choices that have “us” doing things that sabotage forward progress.

When my fearful inner child is triggered, I will lose myself in TikTok for hours, or I’ll eat a heaping plate of fruit and cheese, or I’ll stay up way too late lost in a novel.

All these actions in response to my “scared little girl” inside are beyond what’s good for me. An evening of overdoing it can diminish my productivity the next day. Not to mention it makes me feel crappy about myself.

As I’m reflecting on all of this in the light of day, transforming my relationship with my fearful inner child would impact all the choices I make in my life, wouldn’t it?

It would go to the heart of why I’ve played small in my business and allowed my health to hover below what is ideal.

And what about you?

If you could transform anything in your life in the next six months, what would you choose to transform?

If you would like help clarifying what it is and making it real, reach out. There is no cost for the first 45-minute session, and I guarantee you will leave with greater clarity on how to move forward with confidence.

Roberta Ryan is a business coach who helps creative, intuitive small business owners recognize their value, make their vision real, and sustain a business that serves the greater community.

To find out more, please visit www.RobertaRyan.com