Motivation Isn’t Holding You Back. It’s Your Habits

Motivation is just one small part of habit-forming. The rest comes down to commitment and sheer grit

Motivation is a finicky feeling. It drives us to start on a goal, but the moment we encounter a hurdle, it’s nowhere to be found. It’s unreliable.

A few weeks ago, I listened to a podcast where the author spoke about how he had turned his life around. In 4 years, he went from being $50k in debt to becoming a millionaire.

I was in awe. If he could do it, then surely I could too.

Listening to that podcast made me want to write more, invest more, and learn more.

I was motivated. But that motivation wouldn’t be enough to keep me going for weeks, months, or years.

I needed something more. I needed something long term.

‘Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.’ — Jim Ryun

Long Term Habits are Second Nature to Us

I have an 8-year brother that’s managed to master the art of manipulation.

He eats slowly to avoid going to bed and he knows how to get what he wants. But there’s one task that he’s struggled with the most. Brushing his teeth.

It takes a determined family member with strong negotiation skills just to persuade him, and each day is like a new battle.

But when you wake up in the morning, how often do you fight with your brain to get out of brushing your teeth? Do you have someone cajoling you too?

Hopefully, that’s never the case. Brushing your teeth has most likely become second nature and a habit that you’ve trained yourself to do on autopilot after many many years.

But take yourself back to the age of 8. Perhaps you thought that brushing your teeth would take you away from playtime, or perhaps that it was was a sign of bedtime fast approaching.

You would probably fight and resist, but then, eventually give in. With enough time, you would come to accept it as a daily ritual, and that ritual would stay with you for the rest of your life.

Unfortunately, my brother hasn’t got there yet, but he will soon.

The point is, the habit of brushing your teeth has become so strong that you no longer need to think or motivate yourself to do it. You simply do it.

Starting any goal is a challenge, but that’s where motivation can help.

Motivation is Needed to Form New Habits

It was 2016, and I was 12 months into my new job. At the end of each working day, I’d notice that several colleagues would get changed into their gym clothes and leave together.

I wanted to join them, but I hadn’t been to the gym in over a year. How could I possibly keep up with their pace?

As a university student, I would be somewhat active at the gym. I say active, but in reality, I was inconsistent. But now, I wanted to experience it properly. I was young and knew that this was the best time to get in shape and improve my health.

One afternoon, I went over to my colleague’s desk and asked him for more information. Even though we were good friends, it still felt a little nerve-wracking.

But his response filled me with joy.

‘Oh, I go to a class every Tuesday, but it’s pretty intense. Tell you what, if you want to come, I can bring you as a guest.’

I was ecstatic. Here I was mulling over how to persuade him to take me along to his workouts, and he was offering me a free pass. I felt eager to try out this class. I wanted to see if I could get through it, and how challenging it would be.

When Tuesday came, nothing could prepare me. The gym was bigger and better than I had expected, and so were the people going in and out.

I felt slightly intimidated, but not being alone in the situation gave me comfort.

It was a gruelling 45-minute workout, and just 30 minutes in, I had to pause. I laid on the floor as everyone else continued their burpees and jumping squats.

The class ended and I felt embarrassed, weak, and inferior to everyone around me.

But I didn’t give up. Like a mad man, I wanted to go again next week. I would not let that class defeat me.

When the next week came, I was ready to face the class again.

30 minutes in, the dreaded feeling returned, but I pushed on. Sweat poured from my face, and my legs were close to breaking on the final few seconds of the plank. But I stiffened my resolve and continued pushing on.

The 45 minutes were done. I felt on top of the world!

Though incredibly sore, I was pumped and wanted to keep going week after week, with or without my colleague.

‘No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn’t trying.’— Tony Robbins

Fast forward to 2021, and I’m still active at the gym. I had turned that punishing experience into a regular weekly routine.

I had created a lifelong habit.

The Science Behind Lifelong Habits

You may have heard of the saying that a habit takes 21 days to form, but did you know that this is actually a myth?

It originated from a study that found patients who had received plastic surgery were able to adjust to their new appearance after 21 days. But this has nothing to do with adapting to a new activity, so how long does it actually take to form a new habit?

It was found that through daily repetition, it took around 10 weeks for a habit to form. And for it to become second nature, it would take a further 2–3 months.

You can start to see now why forming habits is so difficult. It takes a lot of dedication and time.

One habit that I’ve always struggled with is going to sleep early. However, to make this change, I also needed to modify other aspects of my life. For example, if I stopped using my phone before bed, or started meditating, I would find it much easier to sleep earlier.

You can’t rely on motivation alone to keep you going. If you want to truly introduce a new habit to your life, you’ll need to commit to it for weeks, or months.

Is there anything that could help, or prevent you from doing that? Make those changes before you commit, not afterwards.

‘Change might not be fast and it isn’t always easy. But with time and effort, almost any habit can be reshaped.’ ― Charles Duhigg

Applying this to Writing

I don’t write every day. I have a full-time job, and there are some days where I simply don’t feel like writing. But does this mean that I’m not consistent and can’t create a writing habit? Not at all.

Writing every day would sap my energy, and perhaps even lead me to give up. It wouldn’t take into consideration how the working day had gone, or what plans I had.

Being able to choose when to write gives me the freedom to create quality content as I’m not under pressure to hit publish every day.

Remind yourself that a habit doesn’t have to be a daily occurrence. You can give yourself weekly, or even monthly goals and still reach the same destination.

We’re always looking for better ways to motivate ourselves. But motivation is just one small part of habit-forming.

If you want to live a healthier life, watching a video about someone going through a body transformation will help you start, but unless you fully commit to making that change, your motivation will wane over time.