Mother of Puppies (Part I)

Transition Is Coming!

The following story is not only absolutely true, but was a foreshadowing of what we all know today is true!

When I was 21, I had always wanted puppies and my mother wanted to be sure that they were adoptable and desirable purebreds, so she arranged to have Daphne, our youngest of three golden retrievers, to be bred with a local stud of suitable pedigree. Let’s not explore the parallels of arranged marriages, but perhaps we will revisit that theme in the future.

Now before I explain further, this was not our first attempt at puppies. Getting pregnant, or becoming a father is not always as simple and straightforward a process as you might think. You see, we originally had attempted to breed our oldest golden, Vector. He was a handsome dark red golden with glorious tail feathers. Like all golden retrievers that I have ever known, he had a terrible addiction to tennis balls and was the happiest, most loving, and innocent soul you have ever known.

So, we had found a suitable breeder that was willing to have Vector be stud to one of her lovely ladies, for a suitable fee (Oh, look! Another parallel and future theme!). On the fateful day we were told the young lady, call her Cora Pearl (her actual name was a typical purebred tongue twister), was in heat and ready, we brought our eager young stud to make a social call.

Now Vector was an innocent. Apparently, his mother had never given him, the ‘talk’, or, more likely, he had been looking at some nearby tennis balls and not paid any attention. In any case, he had no idea what was in store for him❣💋😜

We carefully introduced the two designated lovers and once we were certain there was no hostility, left them to their own devices inside a fenced area. Vector was very… excited. His intended paramour was not entirely disinterested, but seemed more of the mind to get this business over with so she could get back to the important business of chasing balls, going for walks, and, of course, eating. It was not long at all until Vector made his move!

Now when it came to ball catching, chasing, or the most fun game of “How many can I hold in my mouth at once?” Vector was truly a peak performer and alpha in every way. In action, his grace, dexterity, and slight of soft mouth were truly breathtaking to behold! We never ranked him, but I am confident he would have been on many a podium if there were a golden retriever ball wrangling competition in which for him to compete!

However, when it came to matters of love, he was all heart wrapped in ineptitude! OK, I am going to try to paint a visual in words, and if this is too graphic, then please do cover your imaginary eyes or skip to the next few paragraph!

You see, when it comes to canine lovemaking (otherwise known as doggy style), there are certain niceties to the mount that must take place for a successful union. Vector’s foreplay, butt sniffing, and overall demeanor were more than adequate; at least Cora found them so. When she patiently stood steady and allowed him to circle and attempt to mount, he had every advantage he could wish. He just did not know how! Somehow, he always kept one of his two front legs between Cora’s two hind legs as he attempted to climb and mount her!

Now, he was quite flexible, and even with the one leg in the way he was able to curve his spine and bring his, ahem, equipment, so very tantalizingly close to their intended destination! Alas, the coveted moment of love was always inches, perhaps millimeters, nay only microns away from consummation. He just could not do it. After an hour of repeated attempts, we gave up in despair and left. Vector humiliated and Cora disgusted and unrequited. 😔

Following the visit, my mother diligently sought, to little avail, educational blue movies for golden retrievers (or any canine variant). Who would have thought it, but the only videos we could find were not helpful to teaching actual canine lovemaking (remember this was before the internet). We tried to have sex talks with him, but he just kept eyeing the balls or spitting out a well-slobbered one at our feet. We had his attention, but his heart and soul were all about the balls.

Still, my mother was a woman of steel willed determination! Undeterred, we sought out a young puppy of suitable lineage to breed with Vector. In this way, Lucy came into our lives!

Now Lucy was a true coquette and tease, combined with noble and pure golden retriever heart. It was no surprise that shortly after bringing her home as a puppy, she had Vector wrapped helplessly around her paw. She also learned from him the love of balls and delighted in his gentleman’s reaction of dropping balls at her feet that she happily put in her mouth and held in a never-ending game of keep-away!

We tried to even the playing field by providing a multitude of tennis balls. But Lucy could readily carry 5 balls at once, I think she occasionally had six at once but never managed to maintain control of the sixth for long enough to call it a completion. So, would seven balls be the answer? Unfortunately, no, it was not the answer. If Lucy had balls, Vector was all attentiveness and desire, and Lucy always had balls! I mean, she could have been Lucy Lawless’s inspiration for how she portrayed the character Xena!

Lucy and Vector were true soul mates, bonded by a love of balls and a love of Lucy. They never had a disagreement until Lucy came into heat and was finally mature enough to let Vector have is inept wicked ways. Alas, even after coaching and blue movies, it was not to be. Lucy had no interest in being bred. She fled Vector (or later any other suitable suitors to whom we paid stud fees). Fenced area? Not a problem! If she couldn’t jump the fence, it turns out that a determined golden retriever can climb a chain link fence and jump to the other side! I wish I had a picture; it was an amazing sight to see!

Vector was destined to be the last of his line, but he was a happy soul with no regrets. Yet we were undeterred! So the story will continue with our acquisition of Daphne, the sweetest golden ever, as we return to the present-day that took place some 40+ years ago. Also in the next chapter, I will relate how I, Saoirse, became a true mother of puppies! Till then!