Much of life isn’t important

Most Things In Life Don’t Matter

Letting go of the unimportant

Most things in life don’t matter so there’s no point in crying over them.

Let me rephrase that this way. Most things in life don’t really matter.

Sure, everything matters to some extent, but most things in much of our lives really aren’t as important as we make them out to be. Yes, there are very few exceptions, and we’ll get to that shortly.

Think of some of the unnecessary excitement surrounding the following that some think matters:

• Starbuck’s Pumpkin Spice Latte
• McDonald’s return of the McRib
• A celebrity’s Instagram post
• March Madness Basketball
• A new Star War’s movie
• The World Cup

I am not delusional, so I know for some, any or all of the above can be a bright spot in an otherwise droll day. But do any of those things really matter? We tend to over-emphasize most things that are really not that important while missing out on what truly is.

For some, the introduction and never-ending promotion of a seasonal product is a slap in the face reminder of what season we’re in. Presently, it is early November, and Christmas music is playing on the radio.

Sure, perhaps if you’re a fan, you may experience a dash of momentary joy. But has the McRib advanced your relationship with others in any meaningful way? I doubt it.

My point is, let’s not assign real value to the valueless things in life. You should only choose to assign emotional value to the significant people in your life who do matter. As well as, that career decision that puts or keeps you on the path to fulfilling your life’s goals and passions.

Life is a complex web of simple moments.

— Stephen J. Lalla

Yes, that’s one of my original quotes. What it means to me is that hundreds of thousands of moments happen in our lifetime. Suppose we allow ourselves to be distracted by the inane moments. In that case, we miss out on the truly magical, albeit simple moments. Those moments that do truly matter.

If you’re presently in a relationship. Think of how you feel when the person you love and adore arrives back home from work, and you greet them for the first time in many hours. That is a critical moment that matters. I know full well that every time my wife leaves home, at the risk of being morbid, she may not arrive back safely.

Thankfully, I don’t dwell on that thought, but it exists in my psyche. There is no way I could hug or kiss her enough to make up for her loss should she never return. It is important to me that I kiss and embrace her not only for her emotional sake but, more importantly, for mine. I have come to terms and accepted both my fate as well as hers and that is something that matters.

Think of a time when you were just hanging out with friends. You weren’t doing anything special, yet at the same time, everything was extraordinary. That time mattered. You laughed at the silliest of comments so often that you can’t even remember what any of your conversations were about. All you know is that deep in your heart, you cherish those moments. When you’re with those friends, life has meaning and purpose, and you look forward to them going on forever.

I’ve been told that I have a tendency to overthink things. Sure, I’ll accept that evaluation about myself. Like everyone, I’ve experienced joy and loss in life. The loss can never be undone, and all the joy imaginable will not fill those voids. Still, I do my best to fill myself with daily joy from everyone who has honored me with their friendship and love as that matters. I also find joy in doing things as simple as brushing my teeth, writing, cooking, and yes, I’m one of those weird people as I actually like to clean.

A long time ago, after suffering a significant loss in my life, I decided not to allow myself to miss any joyous moments as they come and go quickly. If you are aware, they are right in front of you. At the same time, if you’re not open to what matters, it can be transparent, almost ghostlike, or ethereal. Have the vision to see those things that are joyous, and you will find joy all around you in the few things that truly matter.

One thing I locked into my psyche decades ago is this. Whatever is happening or has happened, will it really matter in a year? It’s all a matter of perception. Will that event or negative outcome affect my life in 365 days?

Most of the time, what may seem huge or impactful in the present will be nearly meaningless 12 months from now. Sure, there are always exceptions. If you’re the kind of person who only sees exceptions, then I’m going to encourage you to reverse your view and see more of the non-exceptions in life.

Most things in life don’t matter.

It all depends on how you look at things, and not how they are in themselves.

— Carl Jung

Think of something dreadful that happened to you, say 2 years ago. Perhaps it was the loss of a job, or a friend betrayed your trust. While the memory may still be painful, has it adversely affected your life? Or at the time, it mattered, but today, there are other more important elements of your life that matter. I trust that your emotional maturity has provided you with the skills to feel it, accept it, and move forward in your life.

Life is always complicated. It’s like a common relationship statuses on Facebook. You get to choose what matters as well as what doesn’t. I’m not saying that things won’t affect you. But you are in charge of how deeply as well as how long you allow them to have that effect.

Think back to your first love. Assuming you’re not with that person now, the end of that relationship was like a death. But I trust that years later, you have gotten over it and have realized at the time, it truly mattered. Today, nah, it doesn’t really matter.

Your current relationship, it matters. The birth of a child, it matters. The accomplishment of a goal you set for yourself, it matters. Love in your life; however, you envision love matters. All else, I’m going to posit, doesn’t really matter, and hence I’ll somewhat conclude my argument that Most Things In Life Don’t Matter.

Final Consideration

We all know the importance of positivity and attitude. By accepting my premise of most things in life don’t matter; it frees up emotional bandwidth allowing those things that genuinely matter to have a comfy home. The takeaway is simple. Keep everything in your life in perspective by reasoning this to yourself. A year from now will it matter? Pumpkin Spiced Lattes and McRibs will never matter to me and hopefully neither to you.

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